Yesterday was such a grueling day. I had been trying to go to bed since about 8:45 p.m, and at least two different times I had laid my head on my pillow about to collapse into unconsciousness. Earlier in the day Jeremiah had taken a BAD spill on his bike. He had a decent gash on his knee. We had determined that it did not need stitches; however, because it was on the bending part of his knee, it was not looking good. He came into our room so we could check it. It looked bad! I asked John if we needed to run him in for stitches, but he said he thought we could get away with some tape stitching.
Exhausted, depleted and wearied, I prepared myself to travel to Hartford to get tape stitches. But then John said, “Wait! I think Ben said he had some.” Sure enough! Neighbors to the rescue! The Borkenhagens had some tape stitches and liquid bandage and gauze. On somewhat of an auto pilot, I traveled down the hill to their house.
Now lest you think the next part is simply an exaggeration because of complete delirium caused by exhaustion, let me stop to say: my driveway is a VICIOUS hill! Everytime Stacey or I walk up it to my house we say, “Gosh! I have GOT to get in better shape!” It is wicked, steep and tough to walk up (or drive up)… [c’mon! all you who have driven up it and thought, “How the crud are they going to get up this thing in the winter?” shout out in a blog comment and back me up here!!!!]
So after retrieving the tape stitches I started back towards my house. As I climbed the very slight hill in Ben & Stacey’s yard I thought, “Ohmigosh! I have to climb THE HILL!” I started dreading it. As my feet hit the pavement of the road that separates our houses, tears sprung to my eyes. By the time I reached my mailbox, I was really and truly crying. I stepped foot on the rocks of my drive, and I feel like I literally heard it…. God’s voice. He said, “Jami, climb! Just climb! Don’t look back (and think about lying down in the road)! Don’t worry about how you’re going to get to the top! Put one foot in front of you and climb!” It was the oddest thing. I got to the top of the hill and set foot on my porch with less effort than I EVER have before. I was less winded. I was less tired. On a good day, when I hadn’t spent 4 hours working, 8 hours in doctors appointments and 3 hours in posting medical updates and answering emails, it was MUCH more difficult to get up that hill. I came in the house and told John, “God just carried me up the driveway. He really did."
As I laid down on my pillow exhausted and ready to pass out, all the lessons of that experience started flooding my brain and I thought, “Gosh I hope I don’t forget these by tomorrow! This is going to make a great blog.” I’m sure that the life application of this one is not that difficult for all of you to make. The hill represents this journey through brain surgery. (You got that WAY before I said it right?) I needed to physically walk that hill and get to the top not nearly as exhausted to be reminded that God will get us to the top of this hill not nearly as exhausted as we should be after such a climb. I needed to hear Him say, “Jami, climb! Just climb! Don’t look back (and think about lying down in the road)! Don’t worry about how you’re going to get to the top! Put one foot in front of you and climb!”
This hill in front of my family, no one in the world is denying that it is formidable. In the natural eyes, it looks insurmountable: brain surgery, being out of work without pay during recovery, mom who works from home and homeschools now gets to throw in nursing a sick husband back to health to her list of things to do. Good thing that we don’t have to climb this hill in the natural. Good thing we have a loving God who will pick us up and carry us to the top if we just keep looking forward and if we just keep putting one foot in front of the other.
But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.