Day 2... Prayer Walk

Have you seen Facing the Giants? It is one of our FAVORITE movies. I haven't blogged about it in quite some time though. That movie just ROCKED my world and is the source of MANY good ideas, blogs, and resolutions for John and me. One of those ideas came to us in April 2009. Inspired by the man who walks the halls of the high school praying over each locker, John and I began walking the aisles at our church prior to Sunday service, and praying for a revival. Well today John spring boarded off his initial good idea and came up with another doozie!

Ever since leaving New Day Church, John and I have felt God calling us to take a break from service. At New Day, we were self-admittedly over-committed. It seemed we served in every ministry they had available: set-up, worship team, lunch-making, youth group, meals for those in need. After four years we were POOPED and really felt that God wanted us to abstain from getting involved in church ministry for awhile. However, anyone who knows us can probably imagine what a difficult pill that was for us to swallow. We are doers. We are servers. We are NOT ones to just sit there in warm a pew. However, that was exactly what God was asking us to do. I fought back a little, testing the limits my Heavenly parent had set and begged, "Isn't there ANYWHERE I can serve God? I feel so useless without service!" Quietly I felt Him answer, "Your neighborhood is going to be your mission field."

As a result John and I have made efforts to reach out to those in our little neighborhood. We have gotten to know a few people, and we have reached out a little through prayer and service. Well today God gave John an idea which flowed perfectly with this new commission God had given us. He said that, just like we used to walk the aisles of New Day Church and pray, we should start walking the streets of our neighborhood and pray. GENIUS! I LOVED it!

So we started tonight. Admittedly we only made it down "our" cul de sac and part of the adjacent one. The kids pooped out halfway back up our cul de sac. Initially I told them they could go inside while we walked/prayed the rest of the neighborhood, but just a short way down the second street, I started feeling very uncomfortable about walking while they were at home and out of my line of sight. So we did a blanket prayer over the last two streets and headed back home.

As we walked down our little street, we prayed for all our neighbors. For the ones we know, we prayed specifically. Our friends Mike and Rose were out in their garden, and John even walked up the drive and asked if he could pray for Rose. We have been holding them tight in our prayers for several months as Rose has suffered some medical struggles that even the Mayo Clinic has been unable to diagnose. (I would really appreciate it if you could pray for them too. Pain and sickness are so hard to bear but when it is undiagnosed the suffering is greatly increased.) (Yups Kristie we prayed for you and your little clan too as we passed by your abode). For the ones we've yet to meet, we prayed more generally. Regardless it was a GREAT inaugural Prayer Walk, and I look forward to making it a weekly occurrence.

An update on the rest of the Soul Cleanse:

We are doing GREAT so far. No TV. No talk radio. No secular music. This morning we arose at 5:30 a.m. and had our individual quiet time which ended with prayer together as a couple. Immediately after "wake up call" I read the Bible with Auntie Marge and the kids and we prayed. As a family we did our prayer walk and followed it with Family Worship. Right now, John is doing bedtime Bible reading and prayer with the kids while I blog (last night's blog kept me up WAY too late).

We are experiencing some breakthroughs, but on a few issues we are still pounding against the barriers praying that God will bring them tumbling down. An odd side effect that I really didn't think of or expect has been a RIDICULOUS increase in intimacy. The more frequently we pray, praise and read the Word together the more I see of my husband's heart, and I REALLY like what I see. I know we're only on day 2 here, but I SURE hope that we can keep a consistency to some of this.... especially in the area of prayer together. We've always kinda gone in fits and starts in this area, and I just keep thinking if this is how much we've grown and learned and reaped after just two days of GREATLY increased prayed time, what would 2 weeks bring us? or 2 months? or 2 years? We shall see I guess.

Okay everyone I gotta close this up. We still have intercessory prayer on our Soul Cleanse agenda for tonight and my eyelids are already drooping. Have a great night!

My heart for missions....

Sunday at church the message was called Give3 - Part 2 in a series entitled Give & Go. It was about missions, about three different ways we should give: financially, spiritually, and physically. While the sermon was delivered about foreign missions, the application of the Word to my heart was slightly different. I'm not saying that starving children in Ethiopia don't tug at my heart strings. I will admit tears streamed down my face over the story of the Indian orphan being put to bed on a mattress-less bed of wooden slats. Yet my heart for missions is a bit closer to home. My heart breaks over the mission field I see right in my backyard: hungry families in my community, broken children right here whose families are torn apart, confused teenagers at my local high school who are trying to navigate the stormy waters of this thing called adolescence. They need Jesus. They need food. They clothes to wear to school. They need their broken hearts soothed and their murky minds made clear. While the suffering of ALL people lies heavily on my heart, the people right in my backyard are those who are indelibly imprinted on "my heart for missions." I don't know what people group is most heavy on your heart, but it doesn't really matter. The need to give of ourselves financially, spiritually, and physically applies to every part of the mission field.

We need to give financially out of our assets. I always find it interesting to observe the discomfort whenever a message is delivered which includes a commission to give financially. People are so uncomfortable with this! From the person delivering the message to the those hearing it, discomfort abounds. Why?!?!?! Why do we cling so tightly to our stupid STUFF?!?!?! That amazes me. From the perspective of someone who has no money and very few tangible assets available, I can tell you that money is NOT important. I can also tell you that God doesn't need your money to move. He doesn't need you to tithe and give in order to do something miraculous. You wanna know why? HE ALREADY OWNS IT ALL! Your money, your house, your cars, your toys.... they are ALL His. The earth is the Lord's, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it; (Psalm 24:1) You know why God needs you to give of your tangible assets? It is NOT for His benefit. It is for YOURS. When you give your assets, YOU ARE BLESSED! That's why God wants you to give! He doesn't need your stuff! He wants you to be blessed.

We also need to give spiritually. It made me think, "What am I doing to give of myself spiritually?" There are so many ways to give of yourself spiritually!

1. Pray! John and I have this habit. When we tell someone we will pray for them, we try very hard to STOP and pray right then. I think sometimes people are a little taken aback by this, but our rationale is if we don't pray right that moment, we might not remember to pray at all. If you are not comfortable praying out loud for someone, then right away after hearing of a need stop and pray silently for it. But PRAY! It is the BEST way to give of yourself spiritually.

2. Share! You can give of yourself spiritually just by sharing what God is doing in your life. When God blesses you with an answered prayed, tell the WHOLE world about it! When God reveals something to you through your reading of the Word, share it with someone. When you hear something amazing in church, tell someone. When I was a little girl, we had this Christian songbook, and my FAVORITE song in that book was Pass it On. The lyrics went: it only takes a spark to get a fire going.... and soon all those around can warm up in its glowing.... that's how it is with God's love... once you experience it.... you want to sing... it's fresh like spring... you want to pass it on.... That's all we're talking about here... pass it on! Pass the love of God on to others by sharing what He says to you.

The final encouragement is to give physically. Basically to get up and DO SOMETHING! Make a meal for a family in need. Invite that new person in your neighborhood over for dinner. Offer to clean the house of the woman at church who just had a new baby. For me I heard this as a poke in the fanny to get back to FAITHFULLY blogging. I have been SO remiss about writing lately. So many tell me that the words God gives me to blog minister to them, yet I have let the busyness of life crowd in and I have NOT been blogging very much. Blogging is a way I can physically DO something to spread God's word. As scary as it is because I am terrified the second I type it I will fail, I am committing right here, with my blog readers as witnesses, to blog at least every other day! Yikes! I'm not sure how I'll keep up with that standard, but I am going to give it the old college try.

I hope this blog made you thing about giving of yourself. Whether your heart is drawn to starving children in Ethiopia, to hungry families in Hartford, or to confused college students on campus, give of yourself materially, spiritually, and physically to that cause.

The hole in my heart....

When people come into our lives and then leave, it leaves a hole in our heart. Funny thing is we can try and try and try to fill that hole with someone or something else, but it rarely works. No two people are alike; therefore, no two holes left in our heart are alike either.

Recently I lost a friend. Attempts at reconciliation have failed and currently we are estranged. While I believe that God always wants reconciliation (in a friendship, in a marriage, in a church), I realize that because we are flawed humans, reconciliation is not always possible. Sin, pride, misperception, unforgiveness can all get in the way and rob us of the perfect plan that God has for us. Then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose… Philippians 2:2 Ever the optimist I have left myself open to “Maybe…. Someday….” in this friendship. However, the tiny little realist shoved away in the corner of my heart keeps trying to be heard, “Not this time Jami.”

Therefore, I mourn. Like a teenage girl replaying every text, note and call from her “ex BF”, I mope about the good times. My heart catches every time I touch the coffee cup that was a gift from this friend. My brain replays the situation over and over looking for how to fix it… how to find reconciliation.

Lately my torture has heated up to a boil. I am sure part of that is because Satan wants to torture me. He wants me feeling blue. He wants me missing and longing and lonely. He wants me caught up in YUCK so that I will be less effective for the kingdom of God. I think some of it is also because God wants to get my attention. He wants to call my eyes to different parts of this relationship. He wants me to see what went wrong and why it went wrong, and He wants me to learn from my mistakes. I guess what I can’t get past is just the estrangement. I am really not a person who has many enemies (that I know of). For me friendships wane and wax due to proximity or availability, but very seldom do they end abruptly and severely. In fact including this situation, I can only think of one other time that I have been estranged from a friend and just kinda agreed to let it lie and not be friends anymore. And even that situation, with time, resolved itself. The friendship was never the same, but we returned to being sisters in Christ and having an amicable relationship. I guess maybe it is just the fact that I don’t do “break-ups” well because I haven’t been through many of them. But my soul just has this longing…. This hole I can’t seem to fill….

I think this is what God is trying to tell me. It may not be the exact lesson God has for you in your unresolved relationship, BUT it is not sin and it is probably a good idea to give it a try because it can’t hurt.

1. Pray for my friend. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints. Ephesians 6:18 This verse doesn’t say pray for the saints who you’re in relationship with or pray for the saints who you are getting along with or even pray for the saints who want you to pray for them. It says, “praying for ALL the saints.” (emphasis mine and wishing I could make that PERIOD huge and more emphatic)

2. Walk away…. Again while I FULLY believe that God always WANTS us to reconcile… to make a friendship work…. to stay married…. to keep a church together… this is not always possible. There are times in life where we do have to separate. Abram and Lot had to separate. Their reason may not be the same as mine (or yours), but their example remains. Maybe to tell us, there are definitely times in life where we must go our separate ways. There are times in life when we must just walk away.

3. Never give up hope… I do not think it is wrong for me to hope that at some point in the future God will bring reconciliation about in this relationship. Love always protects, always trust, always hopes, always perseveres. I Corinthians 13:7 There is nothing wrong with hanging onto hope. For that is what love does.

4. Let Him fill the hole left by my friend… When all else has failed… When I have tried everything I, in my human power, can do… I need to just let go of it and let God come in and “caulk” the tiny places where the hole hasn’t been completely filled.

So here I am today. Trying hard to prayerfully walk down this path minus one friend but never, ever letting go of the hope that someday in the future God’s will for ALL relationships, perfect unity, will be made complete in this one too.

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone… Romans 12:18

PRAY!

My heart is just so heavy today. Yesterday I was assaulted with desperate prayer requests.

***David just 11 years old an orphan adopted from Ethiopia is in his final stages of cancer. He can no longer see. He is suffering greatly. His parents are now just praying that God will take him Home.
***Amber 14 years old is also not winning her battle against cancer. My sister told me she was picking out the clothes she would wear at her funeral.
***Dear friends with their livelihood in jeopardy due to an unfair situation.
***The 17th surgery for my friends 10-year old daughter... she's still beating the odds 7 years after a near-fatal accident.
***Still praying daily for the VanZantens who are fighting to get past the issues with Baby Eli’s heart.

Sickness, broken hearts, poverty….they are all around me and they make my heart so heavy. I know the answer to this problem seems simplistic, but so often we overlook it. PRAY! Our hearts break, our eyes overflow with tears, yet so often we forget to PRAY! We question, we scream, we worry, we fret, but we don’t PRAY!

Here’s my encouragement for today….. PRAY! Stop right now and PRAY! Whenever you think of David and Amber and Baby Eli today, PRAY! When you feel worried or scared, PRAY! When things are going well, PRAY! I encourage you today to PRAY! Get your hand off that mouse right now and PRAY!

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Philippians 4:6

My dear friend had this as her Facebook status yesterday: It is a waste of time to think about things when I could be praying about them. So don't think about this blog at all.... don't mull over whether I'm right or wrong.... don't waste time even commenting on it. PRAY!

[post-script]
Right after I finished posting this, Noah came down the stairs terrified. He had a nightmare. I asked what it was about. He said, "War." Then he said, "Alex got killed." I practiced what I had just preached to all of you. I pulled him into my arms and prayed with him. I wanted to add Alex to my little list of prayer requests here, because I believe that sometimes God speaks to us in our dreams. I believe that Alex needs an extra hedge of protection around him TODAY. So please also pray for my step-son Alex Kastner. He is in Afghanistan serving our country right now.

Sorrow and Joy

Yesterday was such a hard day at our church. Childhood Leukemia, terminal cancer, and even a loved one passing away, all three of these situations were present yesterday morning in our tiny little church of just over one hundred people. Then I walked outside and saw the rain falling, almost as if God himself were crying over the suffering all around. It put me in a bit of a funk of sadness, and I had to try hard to claw my way out of the fog.

Saturday, John and I had a discipleship meeting with our Pastor, and we talked about how manic/depressive the Psalms can be. One moment David is lamenting that God has forsaken him, and the next he is eloquently praising His majesty. I think that is why I love David and the Psalms so much, because that is what life is like. Sometimes the rain falls, and the tears come. Sometimes the sun shines, and we are smiling.

But I digress, back to my main point. How do we turn sorrow into joy? What should be our response to suffering? How do I push past the sadness that is enveloping me? Here’s what I do:

1. Pray – I feel like I have spent the entire weekend on my knees. The sorrow and the suffering drive me to my knees. When I see pain and suffering in others, I snap into a mode of intercession. I pray because while I cannot heal the pain I see, I know the One who can.

2. Act – I cannot stand that feeling of helplessness. I feel such a strong need to HELP. I can’t make Luke’s spinal tap come back clean. I can’t give Gary more energy to fight this battle with cancer. I can’t take away the loss Grace is feeling right now. But I can reach out. I can offer to cook a meal, watch a child, or run an errand.

3. Learn – All around me I see such WONDERFUL examples of strong and pure faith, and I am not about to let them pass me by without gleaning something from them. I am going to aspire to the faith I see in those around me. All these people around me facing such HARD things and saying over and over again, God be glorified in me, I want to be like that!

This weekend I had the privilege of observing something so inspiring, the death of one of God’s dear saints. Our friend Grace sat at the bedside of her beloved father for days, praying, singing and reading scripture to him, and she blogged about it giving me a glimpse into something miraculous. What a blessed way to pass on to glory! I can truly think of no better way to die then after I have lived a full life serving my savior, and then to pass on with my beloved child sitting by my side keeping me company until finally God takes me home. I cried much of the weekend for the pain I saw Grace suffering as she let go, but instead of allowing myself to wallow in that pain, I chose to wipe away the tears and be inspired by the long God-honoring life led by her father, by the love of a daughter for her father, by the grace of our God who woke that daughter up at just the right moment to witness her father’s last breaths.

So I guess the conclusion is this: there is sadness and there is joy in this blessed thing called life. How can we embrace one without accepting the other? Sorrow is not much fun, but it serves a purpose too. I’m choosing to let my sorrow drive me to my knees, to use my sorrow as a reason to reach out and act, and in my sorrow to glean inspiration from faith worth following lived out right in front of my eyes.

May God bless all those I love who are suffering. Rest assured that I am feeling your pain today.

The upside of Facebook....

I am well aware of the inherent dangers of Facebook and other social networking sites of its kind. However, lately I have been celebrating the positive aspects of Facebook. The whole entire concept of these social networking sites is connecting people. For me, one of the best parts of Facebook is re-connecting with old friends, former students, cheerleaders I used to coach. I love hearing where their lives are right now and learning of the journey God used to get them there.

Almost a month ago, I stumbled upon the Facebook page of an old friend from high school. I used my stellar Facebook stalking skills to catch up on where life had taken him. I ended up with tears in my eyes and prayers heavy on my heart. His wife is currently pregnant with their fourth and fifth children. To make a very long medical ordeal succinct: one of the twins in her womb has died, and its death has put a terrible strain on the other twin. Reading of their journey through this loss and their fight for their other child's life reminded me of the amazing power of our great God and inspired me to aspire to the kind of pure and strong faith to which they are clinging.

In the days following my reconnection with the Veldhuyzen-Van Zanten Family, the Kastner family struggled through a deep, dark valley too. The vast outpouring of support I received from my Facebook friends buoyed me through the storm. A plan started to hatch in my brain, “This thing called Facebook, why don’t I grab hold of it and use it for God’s good?” Thus began Jami’s Prayer Room. I invited all my Facebook friends, and I asked them to post their requests at the group site or e-mail me if their request was of a more sensitive nature. The rapid enlistment rate and the flood of requests was amazing! This group is flourishing, people are being touched, and God is being glorified.

This inspires me! What other things around me can I use for God’s glory? The possibilities are endless! I can use my bleeding, over-sensitive heart for good by praying every single time I feel a twinge of empathy or concern. I can use my love for cooking and entertaining to reach out and minister to the sick and lonely. I can use my writing to draw people’s thoughts to God.

Which leads us to my question of the day: What in your life can be used for His glory? What gifts, struggles, even weaknesses can you use for the glory of God? Seize those opportunities, TODAY! It will not just bless others; it will in turn bless you too.

(I would love to hear about your plans to glorify Him. Please leave them as comments here.)