HIS mighty power....

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in HIS mighty power. (emphasis mine)
Ephesians 6:10


HIS power has been on my heart a lot lately. HIS power.... When I'm struggling through difficulties, fears and worries, I often find myself begging God for help to be strong, help to withstand the test, weapons to fight away the darkness.  But I forget that:

For when I am weak, then I am strong.
2 Cor 12:10

God doesn't want us to be stronger. He wants us to let HIS power work through us. He wants us to admit our weakness and let Him take over.

All this crazy heat and severe weather lately.  Have you thought about the fact that OUR GOD created the forces that make those temperatures sore? He made the physics that make that booming thunder and awe-inspiring lightening possible? He made that! He is bigger than that!  HIS power FAR exceeds that!!!

So instead of trying to fight things on my own.... instead of even asking God to help ME fight things.... I need to just utter one tiny, pitiful cry, "Help."  That's all I need to do... whine out, "Help. God this one is yours. I pass this battle over to you. Don't help ME fight it... fight it FOR me! HELP!"

Whatever you are fighting today: temptation, loneliness, depression, exhaustion, discouragement, worry, fear... Let it go! Hand it over to God. Release it to the One who has the power to make forces as great as thunder, lightening, and OPPRESSIVE heat.  Leave it to God, for HIS power is so much GREATER than ours.

The right person....

This morning I'm feeling EXHAUSTED, weary, worn out. Tired of fighting the same fights... Teaching the same lessons... Saying the same things.... I started to ponder, "What if God chose the wrong person for this job?" Maybe I'm just not good enough, patient enough, smart enough, kind enough to be the one to do THIS job.

That's when it hit me. Moses. Moses didn't think he was enough either. Moses said but God I'm not eloquent.... but God I'm not a leader... but God I'm not... and God said, "I am."

I would like to propose:  if you don't feel too small for the job in front of you then maybe you aren't positioned in front of the right job. If you feel qualified.... If you feel trained...  If you feel big enough to do this.... Then what room is left for God?  See if Moses could have convinced Pharoah all by himself, God's power and glory would not have needed to be revealed.

Like Paul said, "Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power will rest in me." (2 Cor 2:19)

Today is going to be a day where God's POWER is revealed through his very weak, exhausted and weary child. I am at the end of an exhausting week which is near the end of an exhausting month. I am not going to worry or stress about how I am going to get through this day. I am going to put one foot in front of the other and do the best I can while waiting and watching for God's POWER to be revealed.

Thorns, contentment, and hope...

I had the EXACT same conversation three different times yesterday.... I'm not THAT dense... I see it's something God must want me to process... With three different people, I had conversations where we ended up talking about what to do when you're praying and praying for God to change something, and it just doesn't change.

Did you ever see the movie Groundhog Day? I actually hate that movie, BUT that's not the point of this. In the movie, Bill Murray goes through the same day (Groundhog Day) over and over and over again. I can't remember what the point of that exercise is as I have tried to block the irritating movie from my memory banks; however, it is actually serving a purpose for once. In the movie, every time he wakes up it is the SAME EXACT day. He knows what's coming. He knows how it goes. Do you ever feel like that? Like you have been down this road a jillion times? Like you have endured these same struggles over and over? Like you have prayed your heart nearly DRY begging for God to change your circumstances? Yet still here you are.

How do we handle the struggles in life which seem to never end? Suffering a chronic illness... Neverending financial struggles... Perpetual singleness... What attitude are we to have towards those things?

To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me.

2 Corinthians 12:7-8

If the struggle that just won't go away is our "thorn" then our posture should be one of humility, acceptance, and perseverance. We should just accept that this is what God has given us, our "cross" to bear, and continue on living the life he has given us. Supporting this idea is:

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.

Philippians 4:12

We need to be content whether we are walking in sickness or health, whether we are socking away money for a rainy day or robbing Peter to pay Paul, whether we are navigating our days as one or as part of a dynamic duo. The summer before I met John, I had REALLY come to grips with my singleness. I was nearly 30 and feared I would never ever get that precious "Mrs. Degree" I had so deeply desired. That summer I remember saying to God, "You know Lord, I'm okay with being single. I don't need to get married. I have a tremendous ministry here, reaching out to these children in this Christian school. That is enough for me. I had become content in that situation. BUT (and that's a REALLY BIG BUT there) I had NOT given up hope. My contentment with my singleness didn't mean that I had stopped longing for my soul mate. I think that is a fallacy we have all accepted. We believe that being content means you no longer desire or hope for that thing you don't have: health, financial stability, a spouse. I think you can be content with your situation while still hoping and praying for a change.....

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful.

Hebrews 10:23

He is faithful and no matter HOW long you have endured the exact same struggle, you should hang on to your hope! We serve an AMAZING God, Whose power and majesty know NO end.... No matter how neverending your situation seems, no matter how hopeless your plight, He CAN change it. He CAN turn it around in a FRACTION of an instant.

So where does that leave us??? How then do we endure? I think that we endure by accepting our situation and getting to the point where we know should God choose to NEVER change our struggles, we will continue on: loving Him, praising Him, serving Him. I think we endure by finding things to be grateful for even when the night seems the darkest. But most importantly I think we endure by NEVER EVER giving up the hope that things might change.

My dear friend who is struggling through a situation that just DOESN'T seem to resolve itself, I know your pain! I understand the agony! I GET the deep, deep desire to just be through to the other side of this trial. I need you to hear that our God CAN change your situation. But I need you to tell me that even if He never does change it, you will NOT give up!

So seek contentment with where you are. Remember that God can bring your healing, rescue, redemption in an INSTANT! But until He does, hang on tight. Don't give up. Be content and most of all PRAISE HIM!

Free to be me.....

I'm back from the edge of the abyss of exhaustion (I think). Maybe I should never blog at night because by the end of the day I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOO wiped out that I just don't have the energy to pull out my cheerleader smile and put a positive spin on things. However, that being said... I do think that last night's, "Woe is me" blog ministered to at least one dear friend. See, she too needs a few fruity drinks delivered by Mr. Vin Diesel. This blog is for you, my friend, and don't forget there are like THREE houses for sale in my neighborhood ;)

At twenty years of age I'm still looking for a dream
A war's already waged for my destiny
But You've already won the battle
And You've got great plans for me
Though I can’t always see

But You've already won the battle! All this crud we struggle through... it is TOUGH! All this pain we have to endure... it HURTS! Healing and restoration are NO FUN! Sometimes you really feel you are losing every skirmish around you, but do NOT forget: He's already won the battle! He's won it! This stupid stuff we are dealing with seems so all-consuming, but it is but a mist, but a vapor... and what is really important.... what really matters... He already took care of that, and it's a victory for our side!

‘Cause I got a couple dents in my fender
Got a couple rips in my jeans
Try to fit the pieces together
But perfection is my enemy
On my own I'm so clumsy
But on Your shoulders I can see
I'm free to be me

But perfection is my enemy! It's okay that life's not perfect. It's okay that life's hard. Some of us need to give ourselves (and our lives) a break, and realize that perfection is not all it's cracked up to be. Imperfection has it's beauty too. Imperfection is what brings us to Jesus. Without imperfection we don't need Him. I, for one, am SO glad I need Him.

But on Your shoulders I can see.... I'm free to be ME! Climb up on those big shoulders of your Daddy and be FREE! You don't have to walk anymore when you're up on His shoulders. You don't have to climb. You can just be FREE to be yourself... to not worry about falling... to have your load carried.... to be FREE!

When I was just a girl I thought I had it figured out
My life would turn out right, and I'd make it here somehow
But things don't always come that easy
And sometimes I would doubt

But things don't always come that easy.... Things don't always go that easy. For some of us they are harder still. This earth we live in is not our home. It is under the dominion of an evil, crafty, vicious enemy. He tries to steal our joy. He tries to kill our hope. He tries to DESTROY us! See he doesn't believe my first point. He doesn't think that God's already won the battle. He thinks there is some slight chance that he can win in the end, and he is NOT going to give up until he has given all he has got to obtain his objective.

Sometimes I believe that I can do anything
Yet other times I think I've got nothing good to bring
But You look at my heart and You tell me
That I've got all You seek
And it’s easy to believe
Even though

Sometimes I believe that I can do anything.... There are days when you feel like, "I am woman hear me roar." Relish those days! Use them to shore yourself up. Bask in the feeling that together you and God can do anything.

Yet other times I think I've got nothing good to bring.... We all have those gloomy, Eyeore days... Days when we feel like everything is just wrong. Days when we feel like WE are just wrong. On those days, don't forget that the truth never changed. Together you and God can do anything.

But you look at my heart and You tell me that I've got all You seek.... He doesn't want our perfection. He doesn't want our strength. For HIS strength is made perfect in our WEAKNESS. All He wants is a heart that loves Him. Once again, my favorite character in the Bible is David. He has always been my favorite. Wanna know why? Because after ALL he did: adultery, murder.... God STILL calls him a man after His own heart. When it is all said and done that is what really matters.... not the rips in our jeans or the dents in our fenders, BUT a heart that loves God.

So my dear friend.... this one was for you. I feel some of your pain. I've yet to travel the other. But still I know this one truth: if your heart is following after Him that's all that matters.

Cherish those dents in your fender. Relish in those rips in your jeans. They are battle scars that remind you, His grace is sufficient and His power is shown in our weakness.

Love you much! (and don't forget about the houses for sale!)

But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will BOAST all the more gladly about my WEAKNESS, so that Christ's power may rest on me. (2 Corinthians 12:9)

Another fruity drink please, Mr. Vin Diesel

Sometimes I literally and truly wonder if I will make it through all of this. I mean SERIOUSLY what kind of person can handle THIS! I'm not some sort of super human.... I'm just a girl... One puny, measly, fearful, insecure, little girl!

"Send in the reinforcements! Shore up the line! The B team MUST take the court! For this front line fighter is done! Toast! Spent!"

I want a break! I need a vacation from all this misery! I want to plant my big white butt on the sand in Fiji while a cabana boy who looks like Vin Diesel brings me fruity drinks with umbrellas in them! I'll come back and fight the battle later. I'm not deserting FOREVER! I just need a little hiatus from the hassling... Just a tiny little lull in the character shaping... A small pause in the healing...

Don't they give burn victims a break in between skin grafts? When someone suffers extreme trauma aren't there MULTIPLE surgeries so they can have time in between to heal? For goodness sake even this one little tooth implant they want to give me has to be done in two parts so the screw thingy holding the fake tooth in place can grow into the bone or something like that.

Alas.... there is no white sand beach in my near future.... People have said John looks a little like Vin Diesel but I'm not sure John has any little umbrellas at his disposal. So I guess it is back to the grind for this peasant. I just hope God remembers this one thing, "I'm just one girl."

"Meanwhile we groan, longing to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling." 2 Corinthians 5:2

Way better....

I wonder.... Is this kinda what Heaven will be like?

My children, sun-starved and fresh-air-deprived, from being cooped up over a long Wisconsin winter, have REVELED in the chance to play outside these past two sunshiney days. They beg to remove their coats. They run about like puppies looking for a good spot to pee. Today Jeremiah is even outside in shorts! Bikes and t-ball.... walks and kickballs.... These are the things Wisconsin kids dream of all winter long.

Today it had me thinking... Is this kinda what Heaven will be like? Now we sit Son-starved and throne-of-God deprived, cooped up in this sinful world with its heartbreak and illness, disappointment and struggle. But soon it will be spring! And we'll REVEL in walking the streets of gold! Soon we will bask in the light of His presence. Soon we'll be like excited puppies dancing in front of our Master.

Yes I think this is kinda what Heaven will be like. But it will be better then the coming of spring is to a Wisconsin kid.... WAY better.

Meanwhile we groan, longing to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, 2 Corinthians 5:2

The fog....

What is up with this DENSE fog??? Last night was AWANA, and as the time to leave approached, the kids and I looked out the window with apprehension. We could hardly see the house across the street! Jeremiah (he's my weather-phobe) kept saying, "I don't think we should go to AWANA. I don't think we should go to AWANA." But I told him we'd be fine. We'd just leave a little early and drive carefully.

We departed fifteen minutes early and made it down the drive before the uneasiness started setting in. Wow! Out here it looks even worse, I thought. I looked both ways and really couldn't even tell if there were any cars coming down my street. However, since there are RARELY if ever any cars coming down my street, in faith, I pulled out onto Nevada Heights Road. I traveled slowly towards Madison. I could barely see 25 feet in front of me. Again pausing before turning onto the road, I shot up a little prayer that there were no cars I couldn't see racing down Madison Road, and I made the left turn. The war in my mind was deafening, What in the world are you doing risking your babies' lives and limbs??? Don't be a baby! It's not that bad! Back and forth the war continued until I reached 33. About 50 yards before 33, I started becoming pretty certain that I would indeed turn around and head home. I could not imagine pulling out onto this road where people would be traveling in excess of 55 mph when I couldn't see more than MAYBE 50 feet on either side. I turned around. I admit it. I am a wuss. But don't judge me until you are transporting four of the most precious things in your life through fog as thick as pea soup!

This morning as I looked back out on the lingering fog, I still couldn't see any of the houses across the street. I knew they were there, but I couldn't see even one of them. I felt isolated and alone, like I might be the only house in this subdivision. I didn't doubt the presence of the other houses. I didn't wonder if in the night somehow they had moved. They were there. They were just covered in a thick blanket of fog. Yet still I felt alone. It got me thinking.

There are a lot of times when I can't see God. There are times when the fog of trials is so think around me that I can't see Him. I know He is there, but I can't see Him at all. I feel isolated and alone, like I might be alone in this fight. I don't doubt His presence. I don't wonder if He has left me. I know He is there. He's just covered in a thick blanket of trials. Yet still I feel all alone.

Here's the lesson for this day: our feelings, our senses, they don't always tell us the truth. I often feel worthless and like a failure. I often feel like I am all alone. I often feel like there is no hope. But all of these things are lies! I am so valuable that God sent His only Son to die for my sins [For God so loved the world (Jami Lynn Kastner) that He gave His one and only Son... John 3:16a], and in His eyes I am never a failure for the blood of Jesus covers over all my shortcomings [....the blood of Jesus, His son, purifies us from all sin... I John 1:7b]. I am never alone! NEVER! Even if my husband and children, my friends and family were all to leave me, still I would not be alone. [Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me.... Psalm 23:4a] There is ALWAYS hope [On Him we have set our hope that He will continue to deliver us... 2 Corinthians 1:10].

So today remember that your feelings are not necessarily the truth. There are times to "trust your gut" but NEVER when your gut goes against God's Word. When your feelings do not line up with the Word of God, then tell your feelings to take a hike!

hard pressed, perplexed, struck down

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted but NOT ABANDONED; struck down, but not destroyed. 2 Cor 4:8-9

Wow! I am hard pressed, perplexed, struck down.... I have suffered several sucker punches over the past few days. Quickly let me share this one....

I finally had the common sense to google the agency that I was communicating with about my book, and it is a scam. Every entry I found warned people not to get involved with them. I’m not sure what is worse: the rejection that so far the only people who want my writing are scammers, the embarrassment that I laid it all out there and shared with everyone that “someone wanted to read my stuff” and now it’s a scam, or the fear that now they will steal the work that I have already sent them and all that time and energy is wasted.

What do you do when all your dreams are lying in a pile at your feet? Run to Jesus. Climb up in His lap. Cry your eyes out. And never stop believing that He is in control. I have to cut this short. My eyes are leaking a little.

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways declares the Lord (Isaiah 55:8)

Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea (Psalm 46:2)

The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. (Psalm 18:2)