The kind of mother I have....

My mother has a second mother, Auntie Marge. Auntie Marge and her husband Uncle Joe helped my grandmother (a single mother in the 1950s) raise her twin daughters. As a result my mother has always treated Auntie Marge as her mother too, and for the first time in many decades, my mother won't have to settle for sending Auntie Marge flowers or a fruit basket. This year she gets to spend Mother's Day celebrating with Auntie Marge. But first my mother and I had to negotiate getting Auntie Marge into town for the celebration....

"But I don't want you to have to pack up and lug all the kids on a special trip into the city just to bring me Auntie Marge."

"It's okay mom. I don't mind. Besides.... I would like a chance to see my mom for Mother's Day."

"It's just so far to come for no reason. Don't you have any errands in the city."

"No mom but I wanted to come into town to see you too."

"Hmmmm.... maybe Dad could meet John halfway before he goes to work at McDonald's."

"I want to come into town or meet you halfway, so I can see you for Mother's Day."

"Okay, but I still feel bad that you have to lug the kids out."

I have to admit the conversation left me feeling a little frustrated because I still didn’t feel she had heard me. However, the next morning’s call rectified that….

“I feel so silly. I FINALLY get what you were saying. YOU want to spend some time with YOUR mother for Mother’s Day.”

(with a smile on my face)…. “Yes Mother, I would like to spend some time with MY mother for Mother’s Day.”

“Fine then let’s meet halfway for lunch.”

See that is the kind of mother I have….. I have a mother who is so wrapped up in honoring other people, that she doesn’t realize someone is trying to honor her. I don’t have a mother who is obsessing over what her children are going to do for her for Mother’s Day. I have a mother who is obsessing over what she is going to do for her mothers for Mother’s Day. And that is just the way I want it.

What a wonderful heritage to have handed down to me! And what a daunting task to pass it down to my children. Put others first. Don’t concentrate on what you’re getting; concentrate on what you’re giving.

I hope you are all as lucky as I am, but even if you didn’t have a sacrificing, amazing mother like I did, you can still be a person who puts others first. I’ll let you in on a little secret…. The people who are consumed with blessing others are much happier than those who are consumed with what others are doing for them.

Happy Mother’s Day Mom, and thank you for modeling a servant’s heart for me!

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.

Philippians 2:3

The sound of silence...

Silence is not really something I know much about. I've always been a gregarious person with a HUGE mouth. Every parent/teacher conference my parents ever had included the words Jami, talks, and a lot. Most of the time I'm not sure I could even pick silence out of a line up. My life is SOOOOOOOOOO loud. We always joke we are "The Loud Family," but it really isn't a joke. My house has a constant din that seems to be the soundtrack of my life. Last summer when we moved in to this quiet, country neighborhood in the boonies, we kept saying, "There goes the neighborhood," because we are ANYTHING but quiet. However, this past month I have really been called to a time of silence.

I'm not entirely sure why, but God called me to silence my fingers this past month. At first it started out as just busyness. To my normal load of mother of four with a husband still recovering from brain surgery who telecommutes and homeschools, I added caring for an elderly Aunt in my house full time and traveling to the city to care for my elderly Grandmother twice a week. Plus I was planning a HUGE birthday gala event for Hannah. Finally, John and I were walking through a bit of a valley (not really a valley... more like a culvert) of fear related to a significant increase in his pain level accompanied by a return of some of his Chiari symptoms. (Visit to the Neurosurgeon earlier this week put all our fears to rest, and switching up of his medications has eased the symptoms and pain.) This all made for a busy time which did not allow for much blogging. I felt a little guilty about leaving you all hanging and not blogging; however, after a little time I realized that I had NOTHING on my heart to blog about. It wasn't that God wasn't moving all around me, but I could tell that there was nothing He was pressing upon my heart to speak about. Then earlier this week the dandelions burst open the dam in my soul, and I could feel my writing pressing upon my heart again. I'm happy to be back, but I'm also contemplating what all that silence was about.

I have a sneaking suspicion that the silence was to shore me up. I am about to enter several months of "one year ago todays." Anniversaries of the most difficult things I have ever in my life dealt with will be hitting me over and over again this summer, and I suspect that (knowing me more intimately than any one else does) my Creator knew I needed a little silence to rest. Only time will tell if that is the truth or not, but I have a sneaking suspicion I will look back on April 2010 as a fortifying time.

However, I digress.... the point is what lesson should the sound of silence bring? To someone like me who can hardly find silence in the din of children, work, and other related chaos, it sometimes becomes a dirty word. Silence! Ha! It tastes a bit bitter like the word Atlantis to the treasure hunter. I know it exists, but my inability to find it makes that word feel icky on my tongue, in my mind. But silence can be the Holy Grail to your soul. In this case, I feel the blog silence was to strengthen me. See as much as I love to write, and as much as I love all of you, sometimes my blogs bring me nothing but trouble. It often feels like no matter how much I share someone always want to know more. Furthermore, sometimes my intent... the moral of my story... is so completely misunderstood, I am left feeling like a failure for not getting my point across more appropriately. Yet while I suspect the main purpose of all this silence was the shoring up thing, there was a hidden agenda too. I discovered that while I hear lessons from God all around me, sometimes the chaotic din is blocking out lessons too. The little lessons, the quiet things are easier to find in the silence.

Well consider yourselves forewarned.... the silence is over! I feel blogs backing up in my heart like cars in a traffic jam on a Friday afternoon. Yet I'm hoping to hold on to the fortitude God brought through this season of silence and striving to remember to seek out the silence with my whole heart so that I can hear the itty bitty lessons He has for me too.

Hope you have a GREAT day and that you can find a little silence today too.

Weeds....

I have become such a John Deere girl! (Okay my riding lawn mower is a Yard King or something like that, but you get my drift right?) See it's become my job to mow the mammoth of a yard we now have. John works so much. Every night (except Monday) he arrives home between 8 and 9. Saturdays he works a full eight hour day. His only real day off is Sunday, and that is church day and a well-deserved Sabbath too. So it has become the Momma's job to mow the 1.89 acre lawn, and guess what? I actually LOVE it! Idk why... I think cuz it's mindless and no one can interrupt me, and because the lawn stays neatly mowed just a little bit longer than the kitchen floor stays spotless after a mopping.

Anywhoo... I was mowing on Tuesday, and I came up over a hill in the backyard and caught sight of a beautiful patch of overgrown grass polka-dotted with bright yellow dandelions. At first the beauty of the sight took my breath away, but very shortly thereafter, God hit me with a POW! of a lesson. Even as my eyes took in the beauty of the green with splashes of yellow and my heart swelled at the appreciation of the beauty of God's creation, my brain started to kick in and say, "Ummm Jami... Those are weeds." I thought about how just a few weeks ago there wasn't a dandelion in sight. Then one day, Elijah brought me a fistful of "flowers." I thought, "Hmmm dandelion time." Before I knew it... there were patches everywhere. Dandelions were covering my lawn.

God got me thinking about sin. One minute everything is hunky dory. Then sin pokes its head up and if you don't do something about it, before you know it, your whole "lawn" is covered with dandelions.

I've had several applications of this thought called to mind the past few days, but here is the one that is screaming out the most and hitting me HARD in the heart. It has to do with relationships.

I am very good at filtering the thoughts that occur in my mind before they reach my lips; however, because of this I tend to keep my mouth shut a little too much. I let little irritations with people fester until they become huge grievances crippling my entire relationship with them. I see this happening all around me in other people's lives too. People who should have spoken up when something was small and manageable allow it to grow and thrive until it takes over their entire relationship with their spouse, their family, a friend, their church. Before you know it the dandelions have taken over their yard and they have some MAJOR work to do in order to get control.

Kinda like this:

Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

James 1:15

So what's the plan of action then? I used to think my response was simply to root out that weed of sin every time it popped up in my heart and my relationships. However, this week looking around I realized that even if I had rooted up that very first dandelion, it likely would have been too late. That one weed would have likely already had little friends about to pop up all over. So here's what I advise when dealing with weeds (in your yard and your heart):

1. Root them out! Definitely yank that bad boy outta your yard or heart as soon as possible. The sooner the better! When your hubby's voice has a bit of an edge to it, when your BFF forgets your b-day, when your church fails to pray about your illness... address the hurt and pain but then LET GO and get rid of it!

2. Sprinkle some weed killer all about. It's not good enough to just root out that weed. You also have to take action against any friends that weed may have lurking about. I suggest when you root out a sin you IMMEDIATELY bathe your spirit in the word of God. If you are struggling with the sin of lust say. Turn your eyes from that person/thing you are lusting after the SECOND you realize you are lusting. Then immediately find all the scripture you can about lust and soak your spirit in those truths.

3. Protect your yard from your neighbors dandelions. Here's where my analogy goes a little off track, because you can't really do much in a yard situation. You can't pick up your yard and move it away from your neighbor's yard, BUT in life, you can physically remove yourself from the people around you who have weeds in their "yard". Surround yourself instead with people who's lawns are weed free and flourishing.

Well I hope my little rabbit trail on weeds got you thinking. Are there any weeds in your yard today? If so, I hope and pray you will root them out! spray some weed killer! and move your yard away from other weedy yards!

Have a GREAT day!

Easter Song

Hear the bells ringing

They're singing that you can be born again

Here the bells ringing

They're singing Christ is risen from the dead

The angel up on the tombstone

Said He has risen, just as He said

Quickly now, go tell His disciples

That Jesus Christ is no longer dead

Joy to the world, He has risen, hallelujah

He's rise, hallelujah

He's risen, hallelujah

Hear the bells ringing

They're singing that you can be healed right now

Hear the bells ringing, they're singing

Christ, He will reveal it now

The angels, they all surround us

And they are ministering Jesus' power

Quickly now, reach out and receive it

For this could be your glorious hour

Joy to the world, He has risen, hallelujah

He's risen, hallelujah

He's risen, hallelujah, hallelujah

The angel up on the tombstone

Said He has risen, just as He said

Quickly now, go tell His disciples

That Jesus Christ is no longer dead

Joy to the world, He has risen, hallelujah

He's risen, hallelujah

He's risen, hallelujah, hallelujah

Hallelujah, hallelujah

I'm not dead!!!!

That title is both an update and part of the lesson of this blog. I am not dead. I know I've had a long blog silence. All I can say is when you take a family of seven on vaca (even for two days) it takes a lot out of you!

Last week was Haugh Holiday. It is the day my mother and father met. When we were children, we celebrated that day by getting measured up against the closet door to see how much we had grown the past year and with a present of course (Kathi Haugh is ALL about presents ya know). Last year, we turned Haugh Holiday into a family reunion of sorts. All my parents children and grandchildren step away from the hustle and bustle of life for a little fun and a TON of bonding. This year took us to the Chula Vista resort in Wisconsin Dells and brought a lesson learned as well.

After packing up all six of us to go to the Dells and helping Auntie Marge get ready to spend a few days in Franklin, we were off to Oma and Poppa's. We measured all the grandbabies against the door and then headed out to the Machine Shed for breakfast. It was all fun and games until I blew out the pocket of my jeans. Seriously, I sat down and a tiny two inch worn spot (which was cute and trendy) turned into a foot long rip which revealed my unmentionables! A well placed jacket around the waist saved my dignity, the ripped jeans were chalked up to a GREAT story to add to the folk lore of Haugh Holiday, and on we went.

Well I don't know if it was bad luck or poor planning... (No one really thought to check all of the Spring Breaks around that state of Wisconsin.) Holy mother of pearl! That place was crowded! I have been to MANY waterparks in my lifetime, and I have NEVER seen one that was as crowded as the Chula Vista was last weekend! But the big punch it packed wasn't felt by the Kastners until much later. As we were driving home from the Dells, the itching began. Noah's legs, Jeremiah's stomach, Hannah's cutie bootie, and Elijah's whole body were assaulted with itching, the likes of which man has never seen before. We were all tired and itchy and ready to be home. As we got on I90, a teaching moment hit me from outta nowhere. I told the kids, "We are all tired, and we are all itchy from the chlorine. However, in every thing in life there is good and there is bad. We can choose to look at the good things or the bad things. That's our choice. So let's play a game!" We spent the next few miles going around the minivan taking turns listing three good things about Haugh Holiday. Time with Daddy. Time with my children. Jeremiah went on the scary ride with me. I got to spend time with my cousins. I saw The Squeakwel. We got to eat some GOOD food. I got to sleep in Riri's room. Before too long, the irritation of our itching had faded into the background and eyelids were beginning to droop. A much needed naptime commenced, and as I drove us home, I uttered a quick prayed that my children would learn the MARVELOUS lesson placed before them well. There is GOOD and BAD in EVERY situation. Focus on the good, and the bad starts to fade away.

Back to I'm not dead..... I returned from Haugh Holiday to find an avalanche of work awaiting me. It has been non-stop, long hours, many reports completed all week. We're back in one of those chaotic, "Mommy has to work a ton" times where granola bars and chips become the staple of our diet and to do items are piling up higher than dirty towels at the Chula Vista. But guess what???? The lesson of Haugh Holiday was not lost on ME! I am focusing on the positive: lots of hours = big paycheck! I have a job.....many people don't right now. The weather is BEAUTIFUL and is keeping my children busy while I work, work, work. And just like the title says, "I'm not dead!!!!!"

So come on, join the Kastner Kids. Play the game! What three things are you grateful for today? List them here! I'd love to hear them. And if you play my game, I PROMISE your situation will look a little better than it did 5 minutes ago.

God bless! And have a GREAT day!