Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Could you please pray for me???

I don't mean just for "US" over here. I'm actually asking for prayer for me... myself... It's nothing earth-shattering. It appears for the time being my hubby's brain is holding steady. Nothing is really "in the toilet"... But here's the deal:

1. I'm tired. I'm really, really, really tired. I decided yesterday that I'm not tired from the fact that I am again carrying the load of this entire family on just my back. [No offense to the guys out there, but let's all just be real: The mom typically carries most of the load anyway.] I realized that it isn't the carrying of John's share that is wearing me out. It is the fact that he CANNOT help me. It is the knowledge that when I run out of steam and the last drop is gone he can't pick up where I left off. Don't get me wrong, he has worked himself up to doing some stuff around here: laundry (what a folding maniac! you should have seen the living room on Sunday!), dishes, being the heavy with getting the kids back on schedule with school (just a FEW days off cuz daddy had a seizure and they are all kitty wambus!), and on Sunday night he stayed up and got the kids to bed. I got more sleep then I normally get in TWO nights (so much that I'm embarrassed to admit the exact number here on this forum)... So he's helping, BUT for example: the same Freecycler who gave us Kiah has some computers to get rid of. The kids DESPERATELY need a computer in their school station! She promised to hold them for us... I just need to get out there and get them. But I don't know how to fit in the one hour round trip to West Bend, and I can't ask John to do it cuz he can't drive. And it is only beginning... we have 5 more weeks of this!

2. I am DISCOURAGED about my writing. (Yes I purposely capitalized that word to try to show the depth of my discouragement.) I am so very discouraged. Maybe I'm not supposed to be a writer. Maybe I'm not gonna get published. Maybe God doesn't have something special for me to say. Sure my dad said the other day, "You're the best undiscovered writer I know." But I'm pretty sure they told John he had to say those kinds of things too when he got his "Father Badge." I'm going to tell you a secret: I'm writing a manuscript. I'm trying to finish it in time to submit it to the Women of Faith Writing Contest. (No, I'm not going to tell you what it is about yet.) When I started it about 3 1/2 weeks ago, I felt God was CALLING me to write it. Then John had a seizure, adding further confirmation that THIS topic was what I was supposed to write about. Now, I'm just discouraged.... my Demand Studios writing has TANKED. I've written TWO articles in the past three weeks. I used to average 25 - 35 a week. There is NO work to be had there. I have searched for other freelancing opportunities but haven't found any yet. I haven't written anymore of my manuscript since before John had the seizure. I don't have much time to blog right now. I just keep thinking maybe I misheard God. Maybe I wasn't supposed to start a platform with this blog and publish a book that would minister to people. *sigh*

So could you please pray for me? I would really appreciate it. I have my first official meeting with my new cheerleaders this Friday. The kids are finishing up swim and then diving RIGHT into basketball. John returns to work next Monday (I think we have a carpool worked out but please keep that in your prayers too... organizing and executing that is going to be FUN.) Elijah and Hannah are both sick. If you could lift me up in prayer today I would really appreciate it.

Thanks everyone!

No comments:

Post a Comment

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...