Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Who's controlling you?

I was reading The Love Dare over the weekend, and this struck me:

If you’re irritable, it’s because you choose to be. If you can’t function
without a clean house, it’s because you’ve decided no other way will do.
If you pick at your mate more than you praise them, it’s because you’ve allowed
your heart to be selfish.

I have long maintained the only person you can control is yourself, and no one else can control you unless you let them. When my children say to me, “He makes me so angry!” I always tell them, “You allow yourself to be angry. He can’t control you!” But this is so much easier to say then to live out!

I have this horrible flaw. I want everyone to approve. I cannot stand for people to disapprove of or doubt my decisions. I am a people-pleaser, and I just want to make everyone happy. This leads me to worry about EVERYTHING! I wonder what will my mother think of this? What will the people at church think of that? Even what will the checker at Pick ‘N Save think when I buy that? I give so much control to others in my life, important (my mom) and not so important (checker at Pick ‘N Save).

Here is the biggest problem with this, quite frequently God calls us to do things that make sense to no one. [Think Noah and the Ark, Joshua at the Battle of Jericho, Peter walking on water.] Often we are asked to step out in faith believing that His ways are not our ways, and to others we must look at best silly but oftentimes even insane. The more control I give to others by worrying what they will think, the less control I give to God.

What’s a people-pleaser to do? I guess I can choose to follow the example of any one of those Biblical heroes: Noah, Joshua, Peter. I choose Peter. I actually like how Peter starts to sink when he focuses on the wind and waves. I can practically see myself starting to sink into a sea of faces. The faces of all those people I am so worried will disapprove of me. I like even more what comes next. Peter is saved when he LOOKS AT JESUS. That is just so poignant. Focus on Jesus! Keep your eyes on Jesus! Do NOT worry about what anyone else will think. Do not fret that this or that person might be watching you and judging you. Keep your eyes on Jesus! Seek God’s will and then with your eyes firmly fixed on your Savior walk across those waves and triumph over all that disapproval!

So that's what I'm gonna do! This people-pleaser is turning in her membership card and vowing with everything in her to keep her eyes affixed on her Savior and pleasing Him alone. Will you join me?

2 comments:

  1. I relate well even though I deny it inside. I am joining you! Help me, Lord.

    ReplyDelete
  2. hmmm, good thoughts. I am a people pleaser to an extent. I really have a conflict phobia though. I know you told me you do too...what can you share about that!? :)
    I love your blog Jami, keep 'em coming!

    ReplyDelete

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