This is what's on my heart today:
When dreams come true....
Showing posts with label dreams. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dreams. Show all posts
Friday, July 11, 2014
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Letting go...
Why do I have such a hard time letting go??? I'm not really a hoarder. (Although my husband would probably disagree as he is DEFINITELY a purger extrordinaire.) I haven't been saving the jeans I wore senior year of high school hoping to fit back into them. I don't have every single solitary Sunday school project my children ever created. In fact, I actually took part in LOSING one of Jeremiah's baby teeth. The last one that fell out came out at my parents' house, and I have NO idea where it ended up. Yet still on I struggle to let go of what seems like it was never meant to be.
I pray and pray and pray for God to help me let go of my grasp on it. Yet the feelings of sadness and sorrow and longing remain. So then I start to think, "WAIT! Maybe God doesn't want me to let go. Maybe I'm supposed to persevere in hope?" So I get my hopes up a little and cling tightly to what is clearly just a vapor.... a shadow of what it used to be.
How to know? How to know? Like when you're facing a new job opportunity.... how to know what's God's will? When there are positives and negatives on BOTH sides, how do you know which way to go.
Here's the best I've come up with. It's not rocket science. In fact in some ways it's not even a choice..... WAIT. Just WAIT. When you aren't sure which path to travel, when you're unsure if you should let go or hang on, when you're singing along with the Clash, "Should I stay or should I go now? If I stay there will be trouble... If I go it will be double..." Just WAIT.
Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. Psalm 27:14
Waiting is no fun, but when you are unsure what to do I think it is the best strategy. I've been sitting on a decision since Saturday. I had the weirdest dream on Friday night that actually turned out to be creepily prophetic. I spent the day Saturday feeling a bit like I was on Sixth Sense.... I see dead people... okay the people in my dream weren't dead but it was weird to dream something and then see it come true the next day! I tried hard all weekend to figure out what this dream meant. What did God want me to do with this crazy situation? I still cannot figure out if he is telling me to proceed in faith and speak or let go and wash my hands of the situation.
I thought maybe typing this out would make my decision more clear, but it has not. So.... if you're looking for me... I'll be right here.... waiting.... He'll speak. I know He will. But His timing is not my timing. So until His time.... I will WAIT.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
hard pressed, perplexed, struck down
We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted but NOT ABANDONED; struck down, but not destroyed. 2 Cor 4:8-9
Wow! I am hard pressed, perplexed, struck down.... I have suffered several sucker punches over the past few days. Quickly let me share this one....
I finally had the common sense to google the agency that I was communicating with about my book, and it is a scam. Every entry I found warned people not to get involved with them. I’m not sure what is worse: the rejection that so far the only people who want my writing are scammers, the embarrassment that I laid it all out there and shared with everyone that “someone wanted to read my stuff” and now it’s a scam, or the fear that now they will steal the work that I have already sent them and all that time and energy is wasted.
What do you do when all your dreams are lying in a pile at your feet? Run to Jesus. Climb up in His lap. Cry your eyes out. And never stop believing that He is in control. I have to cut this short. My eyes are leaking a little.
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways declares the Lord (Isaiah 55:8)
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea (Psalm 46:2)
The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. (Psalm 18:2)
Wow! I am hard pressed, perplexed, struck down.... I have suffered several sucker punches over the past few days. Quickly let me share this one....
I finally had the common sense to google the agency that I was communicating with about my book, and it is a scam. Every entry I found warned people not to get involved with them. I’m not sure what is worse: the rejection that so far the only people who want my writing are scammers, the embarrassment that I laid it all out there and shared with everyone that “someone wanted to read my stuff” and now it’s a scam, or the fear that now they will steal the work that I have already sent them and all that time and energy is wasted.
What do you do when all your dreams are lying in a pile at your feet? Run to Jesus. Climb up in His lap. Cry your eyes out. And never stop believing that He is in control. I have to cut this short. My eyes are leaking a little.
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways declares the Lord (Isaiah 55:8)
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea (Psalm 46:2)
The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. (Psalm 18:2)
Monday, June 15, 2009
Miracle update....
I keep meaning to write an eloquent piece on this, complete with a spiritual application, but I am soooooo swamped today! My work is pouring in (PRAISE THE LORD!). My dear friend lost her mother last night to a motorcycle accident. I feel as if I have things swirling all about my head and I'm not sure which to attend to first. Christina has taken FULL priority today and my need to obsessively check in on her has taken complete precedence. But I know so many are waiting for news on how it went at the house yesterday. So here it is: cut and pasted from the e-mail I sent my family late last night. It isn't very eloquent and there isn't a spiritual application, but here's the dirt:
It went VERY well today. The house is in some ways much better than we had anticipated and in some ways not as nice as we had anticipated.
For example:
MUCH better
*the tile in the kitchen is MUCH better than we could tell from the picture
*there is a 4th room in the basement which has a HUMONGOUS closet attached to it
*there is soooooo much storage room: closets tucked away everywhere, 5 garages worth of space, a GREAT mudroom
Not as nice
*the garden I saw in the backyard was not on “our” property it was the neighbors
*the washer & dryer hookup is in the main level bathroom; that was a little weird
*I was walking up the stairs onto the deck and the stairway broke off and fell away. The owner will fix that but it was NOT cool.
However, overall we are still VERY much in like with this house. We are talking about renting it on or around 8/1 and later figuring out the details of the rent-to-own contract. This will involve a portion of our rent being applied to our down payment after our 2-year lease ends. That fact alone makes it such a wise move for us, as right now every penny we pay in rent results in NO return on our money. Also since we will not be tied into buying at the end of 2 years, if it is a HORRIBLE place we just choose not to buy it. This would kinda be like a rental move with a GREAT option at the end of the lease… apply some of the money we’ve paid in rent to a down payment and buy the place.
So where we stand right now: the owner is sending us an application so we can get a lease agreement nailed down. Then we are going to be in a FLURRY to get packed up and out of this place in just about 7 weeks! Please keep on praying. This pretty much seems like a no-brainer… almost no commitment from us (other than renting for the next 2 years) and TONS of benefits should this house turn out to be the place we want to purchase. So now please just pray for all of the things we have to get done in the next 7 weeks. As you all know, John and I both have little to NO free time…. But effective immediately we have to start cleaning up, throwing out and packing up… AHHHHHHH! All for a GREAT result though… taking one more step in the direction of becoming homeowners.
Oh and for all those who expressed worries about us moving so “far away”…. tonight we made it home in 55 minutes flat! Door-to-door!
It went VERY well today. The house is in some ways much better than we had anticipated and in some ways not as nice as we had anticipated.
For example:
MUCH better
*the tile in the kitchen is MUCH better than we could tell from the picture
*there is a 4th room in the basement which has a HUMONGOUS closet attached to it
*there is soooooo much storage room: closets tucked away everywhere, 5 garages worth of space, a GREAT mudroom
Not as nice
*the garden I saw in the backyard was not on “our” property it was the neighbors
*the washer & dryer hookup is in the main level bathroom; that was a little weird
*I was walking up the stairs onto the deck and the stairway broke off and fell away. The owner will fix that but it was NOT cool.
However, overall we are still VERY much in like with this house. We are talking about renting it on or around 8/1 and later figuring out the details of the rent-to-own contract. This will involve a portion of our rent being applied to our down payment after our 2-year lease ends. That fact alone makes it such a wise move for us, as right now every penny we pay in rent results in NO return on our money. Also since we will not be tied into buying at the end of 2 years, if it is a HORRIBLE place we just choose not to buy it. This would kinda be like a rental move with a GREAT option at the end of the lease… apply some of the money we’ve paid in rent to a down payment and buy the place.
So where we stand right now: the owner is sending us an application so we can get a lease agreement nailed down. Then we are going to be in a FLURRY to get packed up and out of this place in just about 7 weeks! Please keep on praying. This pretty much seems like a no-brainer… almost no commitment from us (other than renting for the next 2 years) and TONS of benefits should this house turn out to be the place we want to purchase. So now please just pray for all of the things we have to get done in the next 7 weeks. As you all know, John and I both have little to NO free time…. But effective immediately we have to start cleaning up, throwing out and packing up… AHHHHHHH! All for a GREAT result though… taking one more step in the direction of becoming homeowners.
Oh and for all those who expressed worries about us moving so “far away”…. tonight we made it home in 55 minutes flat! Door-to-door!
Monday, June 8, 2009
Poised on the threshold of a miracle....
It started a few months ago. John said to me one day, “Do you realize that we have put $80,000 into renting this place?” I had never really thought of it that way. I love my house. I love its location. We have NO way to qualify for the purchase of a home. So I never really batted an eye at the almost $1,000 rent check we’ve written every month for the past 7 years and 5 months. As the bile rose up in my throat, I decided to start petitioning God for a miracle. I wrote on my prayer list (right next to secondary form of transportation), “house.” I shared this with John who was not very optimistic. He said, “Jami do NOT get your hopes up. There is NO way we are going to be able to buy a house.” I threw back at him the words of one of our favorite movies, “Tell me Coach Taylor. What’s impossible with God?” I then proceeded to pray.
Fast forward about one month, I started the process of reconnecting with a former cheerleader. She lives far away in butt-nowhere Wisconsin, so the first time we met, we picked a place halfway between and planned a play date. Our children played well together, so we decided to see if our hubbies played well together too. We planned to get together on Memorial Day, and the fateful decision was made to meet at their house.
Driving out to Iron Ridge, WI dredged up old memories in our hearts. This was where our old church was. It is the setting for all of our fantasies about our “dream house.” Our Memorial Day celebration at Borkenhagen Manor (yes their house is impressive enough to deserve this title) was AMAZING! It was love at first sight for our husbands and our first born children. We didn’t referee one fight, and we spent over eight hours together just enjoying ourselves.
At some point we began joking about buying the property across the street from them. Ben and Stacey informed us not only was it for sale, but it had been vacant for over a year. The very next weekend found us back at Borkenhagen Manor. The “boys” (the big boys that is) went fishing and the women did what women do, minded the house and the children. Inevitably the jokes about the house across the street came up again, “It would be SO much more convenient if you just lived across the street.” On this occasion, we decided to take our pipe dream a little further by walking across the street, circling the house and peeking in the windows. It was no dream house, but it was WAY far above anything we could even conceive of purchasing. It is a 3 bedroom, 2 bath ranch with a finished exposed basement. The house sits on nearly 2 acres of land. (click here for photos)
We never really prayed for this specific house. I plugged along praying faithfully that God would give this family a home so we could start making an investment instead of throwing our money away on rent without really picturing this one in my head. Well this week at almost the exact same moment, John and I independently came to the exact same conclusion, “We should contact the seller and see if he would consider a rent-to-own situation.” We reasoned the house has been on the market and vacant for so long with hardly a bite, maybe the owner was getting antsy and would consider such a situation.
Right now we are poised on the threshold of a miracle. We are praying HARD that God will lead and direct us. I do not know how to explain the mixture of excitement and apprehension inside of me. Here’s how I put it, “I asked God to give us a house, but I didn’t expect Him to really do it.” This coming weekend we are meeting with the owner to see the inside of the house and discuss a rent-to-own contract.
It went down something like this: Monday we sent an e-mail to the realtor who is listing the house asking if a rent-to-own situation would be considered. We heard nothing all week. Friday Stacey sent me a text that said, “Do you think it would help if we talked to the owner? He is over there cutting the grass right now.” I said, “Couldn’t hurt.” She sent Ben over to talk to him, and he returned with good news. The owner was getting very anxious. He told Ben he is NOT looking forward to paying two mortgages through another winter. He said he is very interested and could Ben pass his number along to us. John contacted him directly, and there was more good news. The monthly amount he is considering is between $150 less to just $50 more than our current rent. What?!?! We thought. We might get into this house for LESS that we currently pay in rent?!?!?! Tonight we timed the drive from our possible new house to the new venue for New Day Church. It is just 53 minutes! That was, for us, another hurdle cleared.
Besides spending this coming week in almost constant prayer, we are researching rent-to-own agreements and land contracts. Please, please, please keep the Kastners (especially John and I) in your prayers. We desperately desire only God’s will. We have always believed that the first step to building wealth is home ownership; however, we have always felt left out of that blessing because of our terrible financial condition. This place we are standing in is both terrifying and awe-inspiring. Initially we were keeping this crazy situation “close to our coats.” We are such unlikely candidates for a miracle such as this. It is still just such a pipe dream. However, the closer we get, and the more it seems like it might actually be a possibility, we are desperately coveting prayer.
We are not asking that you pray we get this house. We are asking that you pray God closes the doors He wants closed and opens the doors He wants open. Finally, pray that we will have the courage to walk through whatever doors God opens up.
Thank you so much, and I promise to keep you updated.
Fast forward about one month, I started the process of reconnecting with a former cheerleader. She lives far away in butt-nowhere Wisconsin, so the first time we met, we picked a place halfway between and planned a play date. Our children played well together, so we decided to see if our hubbies played well together too. We planned to get together on Memorial Day, and the fateful decision was made to meet at their house.
Driving out to Iron Ridge, WI dredged up old memories in our hearts. This was where our old church was. It is the setting for all of our fantasies about our “dream house.” Our Memorial Day celebration at Borkenhagen Manor (yes their house is impressive enough to deserve this title) was AMAZING! It was love at first sight for our husbands and our first born children. We didn’t referee one fight, and we spent over eight hours together just enjoying ourselves.
At some point we began joking about buying the property across the street from them. Ben and Stacey informed us not only was it for sale, but it had been vacant for over a year. The very next weekend found us back at Borkenhagen Manor. The “boys” (the big boys that is) went fishing and the women did what women do, minded the house and the children. Inevitably the jokes about the house across the street came up again, “It would be SO much more convenient if you just lived across the street.” On this occasion, we decided to take our pipe dream a little further by walking across the street, circling the house and peeking in the windows. It was no dream house, but it was WAY far above anything we could even conceive of purchasing. It is a 3 bedroom, 2 bath ranch with a finished exposed basement. The house sits on nearly 2 acres of land. (click here for photos)
We never really prayed for this specific house. I plugged along praying faithfully that God would give this family a home so we could start making an investment instead of throwing our money away on rent without really picturing this one in my head. Well this week at almost the exact same moment, John and I independently came to the exact same conclusion, “We should contact the seller and see if he would consider a rent-to-own situation.” We reasoned the house has been on the market and vacant for so long with hardly a bite, maybe the owner was getting antsy and would consider such a situation.
Right now we are poised on the threshold of a miracle. We are praying HARD that God will lead and direct us. I do not know how to explain the mixture of excitement and apprehension inside of me. Here’s how I put it, “I asked God to give us a house, but I didn’t expect Him to really do it.” This coming weekend we are meeting with the owner to see the inside of the house and discuss a rent-to-own contract.
It went down something like this: Monday we sent an e-mail to the realtor who is listing the house asking if a rent-to-own situation would be considered. We heard nothing all week. Friday Stacey sent me a text that said, “Do you think it would help if we talked to the owner? He is over there cutting the grass right now.” I said, “Couldn’t hurt.” She sent Ben over to talk to him, and he returned with good news. The owner was getting very anxious. He told Ben he is NOT looking forward to paying two mortgages through another winter. He said he is very interested and could Ben pass his number along to us. John contacted him directly, and there was more good news. The monthly amount he is considering is between $150 less to just $50 more than our current rent. What?!?! We thought. We might get into this house for LESS that we currently pay in rent?!?!?! Tonight we timed the drive from our possible new house to the new venue for New Day Church. It is just 53 minutes! That was, for us, another hurdle cleared.
Besides spending this coming week in almost constant prayer, we are researching rent-to-own agreements and land contracts. Please, please, please keep the Kastners (especially John and I) in your prayers. We desperately desire only God’s will. We have always believed that the first step to building wealth is home ownership; however, we have always felt left out of that blessing because of our terrible financial condition. This place we are standing in is both terrifying and awe-inspiring. Initially we were keeping this crazy situation “close to our coats.” We are such unlikely candidates for a miracle such as this. It is still just such a pipe dream. However, the closer we get, and the more it seems like it might actually be a possibility, we are desperately coveting prayer.
We are not asking that you pray we get this house. We are asking that you pray God closes the doors He wants closed and opens the doors He wants open. Finally, pray that we will have the courage to walk through whatever doors God opens up.
Thank you so much, and I promise to keep you updated.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
When dreams come true...
My pulse quickened and my head swam a little when I read her e-mail, “Thanks for applying at Examiner.com. We have reviewed your information and believe you would make an excellent Milwaukee Family Activities Examiner.” What?!?! I got it?!?! Confirmation of my first official writing gig made my spirit jump with excitement. I just knew! JUST KNEW! that this was the start of something big for me!
But as I stand here on the threshold of one of my dreams becoming reality, I have to pause and ask myself, “Is God any more God right now when I am ecstatic and having my dream fulfilled than He was when I was suffering and afraid?” I believe God wants me to examine this thought today. Why is it that I approach dream fulfillment so differently than I approach trials and tribulations?
Trials and tribulations drive me straight to my knees. In fact, before I even process what the hard situation is, it seems I am before His throne, petitioning Him. Yet when I got that e-mail, I shot up a quick prayer of thanks and then got busy with the fun stuff: creating my bio, choosing a picture, filling out my I-9. Even as I am typing this I am feeling God’s conviction raining down on me, “Don’t rush about in the excitement of this moment and forget to thank the One who gave you this moment! Don’t forget to praise Him! Don’t give Him just a cursory thank you and move along!” I need to remember to slow down and fall to my knees! I need to praise and thank Him. I need to PRAY!
When trials and tribulations come my way one thing I always struggle with is Why God? Why? Why is this happening? Yet for some reason when dreams are being fulfilled I do not wonder why. But guess what? There is a reason for this dream being fulfilled just as surely as there is a reason for my suffering. God has a purpose for me becoming a Milwaukee Family Activities Examiner, just as much as He had a purpose for us struggling through how to pay our electric bill last month. So when faced with the fulfillment of my dreams, maybe I need to wonder Why God? Why? Why is this happening? Maybe I need to ask God to reveal what He wants to do through this opportunity so that I do not miss out on any of the blessings He wants to bring through it.
The final thing I do when trials and tribulations come my way is “gird up my loins” and get to work on the hard stuff. I need to remember too that dreams aren’t just blissfully floating along on puffy white clouds. The fulfillment of a dream involves hard work, blood, sweat, and tears. One of my fears as I take on this new writing gig is that this blog will suffer. It is going to take a lot of hard work to continue juggling the balls I normally have in the air (work, family, homeschooling, youth group) and add in these new writing balls too. However, nothing worthwhile comes easily. So I need to gird up my loins and get to work on it!
Whether you are facing the fulfillment of a dream or struggling through trials and tribulations today, I think your strategy should be the same: fall to your knees, ask God why, and then gird up your loins. I know that’s what I’m going to do.
But as I stand here on the threshold of one of my dreams becoming reality, I have to pause and ask myself, “Is God any more God right now when I am ecstatic and having my dream fulfilled than He was when I was suffering and afraid?” I believe God wants me to examine this thought today. Why is it that I approach dream fulfillment so differently than I approach trials and tribulations?
Trials and tribulations drive me straight to my knees. In fact, before I even process what the hard situation is, it seems I am before His throne, petitioning Him. Yet when I got that e-mail, I shot up a quick prayer of thanks and then got busy with the fun stuff: creating my bio, choosing a picture, filling out my I-9. Even as I am typing this I am feeling God’s conviction raining down on me, “Don’t rush about in the excitement of this moment and forget to thank the One who gave you this moment! Don’t forget to praise Him! Don’t give Him just a cursory thank you and move along!” I need to remember to slow down and fall to my knees! I need to praise and thank Him. I need to PRAY!
When trials and tribulations come my way one thing I always struggle with is Why God? Why? Why is this happening? Yet for some reason when dreams are being fulfilled I do not wonder why. But guess what? There is a reason for this dream being fulfilled just as surely as there is a reason for my suffering. God has a purpose for me becoming a Milwaukee Family Activities Examiner, just as much as He had a purpose for us struggling through how to pay our electric bill last month. So when faced with the fulfillment of my dreams, maybe I need to wonder Why God? Why? Why is this happening? Maybe I need to ask God to reveal what He wants to do through this opportunity so that I do not miss out on any of the blessings He wants to bring through it.
The final thing I do when trials and tribulations come my way is “gird up my loins” and get to work on the hard stuff. I need to remember too that dreams aren’t just blissfully floating along on puffy white clouds. The fulfillment of a dream involves hard work, blood, sweat, and tears. One of my fears as I take on this new writing gig is that this blog will suffer. It is going to take a lot of hard work to continue juggling the balls I normally have in the air (work, family, homeschooling, youth group) and add in these new writing balls too. However, nothing worthwhile comes easily. So I need to gird up my loins and get to work on it!
Whether you are facing the fulfillment of a dream or struggling through trials and tribulations today, I think your strategy should be the same: fall to your knees, ask God why, and then gird up your loins. I know that’s what I’m going to do.
Friday, April 3, 2009
God's Will viewed through American Idol
The other night I had an exhausting night of dreams fraught with deep meaning. For example in one part of my dream, I was outside a building with Hannah. All of sudden in the distance, I saw a tornado approaching. I knew I had no time to run inside so I just huddled close to the building and shielded Hannah with my body. Bricks flew from the building and glass shattered as the tornado devastated all around us, but we were not harmed by the storm. As I reflected on the dream the next day, I realized that this was just like what my family has been enduring for the past few years. Destruction and devastation rages all around us, yet God shields us with His body protecting us from being harmed by the storm.
In another part of my dream, I was walking with American Idol contestant Danny Gokey. (Yes, I full well realize that I probably watch and google American Idol too much.) As Danny and I walked along, he expressed to me his concern about being eliminated from the show. I turned to him and said, “If it is God’s will for you to be the next American Idol, there is nothing that can stand in your way. If it is not God’s will, do you really want it?”
I have often found myself in this same position. I recall right after John and I first got married. We had moved to Denver and were trying to make it there. I interviewed for several teaching positions. I was rejected over and over again. I remember trying so hard to remind myself that I wanted God to close the doors that I was not supposed to walk through, but still the rejection stung so badly. I wrestled with God and cried out my pain and fear. Finally, a deep peace settled upon me. I knew what I truly wanted was to be in the center of God’s will for my life. It did not make the rejection hurt any less, but it refocused my eyes onto what was really important. After just five months of living in Denver, God led John and me back home to Wisconsin. As I recalled the rejection of my job hunt, I realized that had I gotten a job I would not have been free to return to Wisconsin. I would not have been free to be in the center of God's will.
What’s the rejection you’re facing today? Whether you are trying to be the next American Idol, searching desperately for a job, or chasing some other dream, I hope that you too desire nothing more and nothing less than His will for your life.
One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek Him in His temple. Psalm 27:4
In another part of my dream, I was walking with American Idol contestant Danny Gokey. (Yes, I full well realize that I probably watch and google American Idol too much.) As Danny and I walked along, he expressed to me his concern about being eliminated from the show. I turned to him and said, “If it is God’s will for you to be the next American Idol, there is nothing that can stand in your way. If it is not God’s will, do you really want it?”
I have often found myself in this same position. I recall right after John and I first got married. We had moved to Denver and were trying to make it there. I interviewed for several teaching positions. I was rejected over and over again. I remember trying so hard to remind myself that I wanted God to close the doors that I was not supposed to walk through, but still the rejection stung so badly. I wrestled with God and cried out my pain and fear. Finally, a deep peace settled upon me. I knew what I truly wanted was to be in the center of God’s will for my life. It did not make the rejection hurt any less, but it refocused my eyes onto what was really important. After just five months of living in Denver, God led John and me back home to Wisconsin. As I recalled the rejection of my job hunt, I realized that had I gotten a job I would not have been free to return to Wisconsin. I would not have been free to be in the center of God's will.
What’s the rejection you’re facing today? Whether you are trying to be the next American Idol, searching desperately for a job, or chasing some other dream, I hope that you too desire nothing more and nothing less than His will for your life.
One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek Him in His temple. Psalm 27:4
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