All I ever wanted to be was a Momma and a Wife. I went to college, had a career, but all along I was really hoping someone would marry me and make me a Momma. I laughed with WILD abandon at the movie 27 Dresses. While I didn't have quite 27 to my credit, I did have one summer where I was a bridesmaid in 3 weddings. WOWZER! It did for sure seem I would be "always a bridesmaid and never a bride." Then with lightening speed I met this man who fit my one and only, sole qualification: he loved Jesus. We married within 10 months and just 17 months after we married.... VOILA! I became a momma. It has been the most amazing, wonderful, excruciating, incredible experience I have EVER undertaken. It is everything I hoped of and everything I never realized it would be.
The one overarching thing I am most thankful for with regards to my children is how deeply, genuinely, and completely they love Jesus. It is amazing to me. Nine times out of ten, these children are the FIRST to say, "We should pray about that." They LOVE to go to Sunday school and AWANA. They just love Jesus. Jeremiah recently had this conversation with me,
"Mom I love you so much."
"I love you too baby."
"I love Jesus a lot too."
"I know you do baby."
"Is it okay if I love Jesus more than I love you."
"Absolutely Jeremiah. You should NEVER love anyone more than you love Jesus."
"Okay. Good."
Then from that point on he would frequently tell me and his siblings, "I love mom but I love Jesus more. You have to love Jesus more." Precious.
My time is quickly slipping away as we have to pack up our baked goodies and travel the hour into town for the Road Rally and Grand Feast, but I want to quickly mention a few more things for which I am thankful with regards to these children:
Noah James... my firstborn - I am grateful that this boy is so fiercely protective of his brothers, his baby sister, his momma, and actually any child or baby he meets. Our friends Brad & Amanda have a new baby and the few times she has been at our house, Noah follows her around making sure she doesn't get near the stairs, fall off a chair, or get into a toy which is not safe for her. This boy he is such a protector at heart. I am grateful for how completely he "gets" the things of God and desires to take in more and more knowledge about Him. I am grateful to this child for turning me into a mom.
Jeremiah David.... my sensitive one - This child sense when I am sad. He runs to comfort me if I cry. This summer was a tough one for this family and every time I dissolved into tears, I could count on his arms being quickly wrapped around my neck and his asking, "Mom can I pray for you?" That's the second thing: this child LOVES to pray for people. Everything that concerns him... every hurt he sees.... every need that occurs.... he takes to his God in prayer. I am thankful for how responsible and orderly Jeremiah is. If you ask Jeremiah to do something, if you give him a set of instructions to follow, you can count on the fact that every single i will be dotted and every single t will be crossed. I love that this boy has such a soft and moldable heart. If he is caught in a sin, he is QUICK to confess and make reparations. I am grateful to this child for making my job as a mom a little easier.
Elijah Daniel.... my oopsie baby - I always tell Elijah he is the best surprise God ever gave me. I joke that a child who was conceived in spite of TWO forms of birth control was destine to be resourceful, scrappy, determined. This boy is all of those things and some. My best parenting stories all stem from him: broken toilets - him, butter spread in the windowsill - him, poop in the stuffed Elmo's mouth - him... Elijah has given me most of my gray hair, but every time he ends up in one of his escapades I think of what my wise Momma always tells me, "You are not raising successful children. You are raising successful adults." And that resourcefulness will do him VERY well as an adult. I am thankful for this child's brain. I can frequently "see" it working behind those gorgeous eyes fringed in ridiculously long eyelashes. I am thankful for how energetically he attacks EVERYTHING in life. I am even grateful for how he knows EVERYTHING. I am grateful to this child for keeping me on my toes.
Hannah Elyzabeth... my little princess - I am thankful that God gave me a pretty little dollop of frosting on top of this amazing cake of children I have. She is EVERYTHING I hoped a girl would be: tender and tough, frilly and fierce.... part princess, part linebacker. I am thankful that God gave her imperfect eyes for it keeps her real. I am thankful that she is a little bit of each of her brothers: protective like Noah, sensitive like Jeremiah, impish like Elijah.... and yet COMPLETELY her own.... I have never seen a 3 year old who can command such attention from 3 older boys.... that little girl is like Hitler! She controls her brothers better than I do. Oh and I saved the best for last: If you ask Hannah what she wants to be when she grows up.... she says, "A cheerleader!" Perfection! I am grateful to this little girl for being my best buddy forever (pinky swear).
I can't end a blog about my children without a quick shout out to my step-babies. You know regretfully I don't know them as well as I wish I did. The past corrupted the present making the future very difficult to navigate. I, ever the optimist, am prayerful that God will continue doing His redeeming, healing work in their relationships with their daddy and the rest of us, and I am very grateful for the chance to be a part (no matter how small or big) of their lives.
Alex Joseph - I am grateful that he is a strong, brave, responsible man. I am grateful to him for sacrificing being with his beloved bride and his beautiful new children to travel across the ocean and fight to protect our freedoms.
Amanda Gene - I am grateful for Amanda's loving, giving, sacrificial heart. And this Thanksgiving I am grateful for the budding relationship I see growing between her and her daddy. God can do amazing things if you let Him and I am grateful that Amanda is letting him.
Amber Jade - I am grateful for this girl's spunk! This girl is scrappy and tough and (while this is slightly off topic) the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. My favorite story about Amber is one John LOVES to tell. She was young (idk maybe 3 or 4) and he took her to Chuck E. Cheese. Some kid tried to skip her on a ride and she hauled off and punched him in the face. Life will NOT take advantage of this girl and I am excited to see the woman she is going to become. I see her taking on life just like that kid at Chuck E. Cheese. It better not try to skip her or it will pay the price.
This Thanksgiving I am eternally grateful that God gave me what I wanted, sevenfold. I am the momma to 4 amazing children and the step-mother to 3 incredible adults. Thank you Jesus!
Showing posts with label Alex Joseph. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Alex Joseph. Show all posts
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Please pray for John....
Well they moved us out of the Neuro ICU and up to a different ICU (I think it said surgical ICU). They said it is because he is so stable, but I feel like we've been banished. This room is TEENY, TINY. It has this horrible window that has no shade or drape and it is way TOO bright in here. John's headache has worsened significantly, and the light is exacerbating the problem. I put a folded up sheet over his eyes to block the light. Also there is an obnoxious phone that keeps ringing RIGHT outside our door. This place feels like Hades.
How to pray:
1. John's pain is increasing. He has a bad headache in the front of his head. One of the neurosurgeons said this was probably from air which got into his brain cavity while it was cut open (sooooooooooooo not using anatomically/medically correct terminology... they had a word for it: pneumo something-or-other...)... they put him on an oxygen mask which will somehow dissipate the air. Please pray for it to go FAST.
2. He hasn't eaten much today. He is very sleepy. This is kinda two concerns in one. We aren't sure why he is so sleepy, but he is really rarely awake. Please pray that he will perk up a little and that he will eat at dinner time.
3. Neck...his neck is very stiff (obviously... it was cut open yesterday). Pray that his muscles will relax some.
4. I am suffering from a BAD headache. I'm sure from lack of sleep. Yet I'm not comfortable leaving him here overnight (especially since they moved him to Hades). Please pray for me. My s-i-l is bringing me excedrin migraine... hopefully that and your prayers will do the trick.
5. The children are being a little squirrely (hope Jen Kallas isn't reading this and getting scared off). Pray for them. This is taking it's toll on them all in different ways. Noah misses his Daddy a lot and he "gets" what's going on so he is worried too. Jeremiah, Elijah and Hannah seem to be all fine and dandy but their poor behavior reveals that isn't really true. Don't forget to pray for Alex in Afghanistan, Amanda and Amber too.
Thanks so much to EVERYONE supporting us. Your love, prayers, food, gifts, are sustaining us through this trying time.
How to pray:
1. John's pain is increasing. He has a bad headache in the front of his head. One of the neurosurgeons said this was probably from air which got into his brain cavity while it was cut open (sooooooooooooo not using anatomically/medically correct terminology... they had a word for it: pneumo something-or-other...)... they put him on an oxygen mask which will somehow dissipate the air. Please pray for it to go FAST.
2. He hasn't eaten much today. He is very sleepy. This is kinda two concerns in one. We aren't sure why he is so sleepy, but he is really rarely awake. Please pray that he will perk up a little and that he will eat at dinner time.
3. Neck...his neck is very stiff (obviously... it was cut open yesterday). Pray that his muscles will relax some.
4. I am suffering from a BAD headache. I'm sure from lack of sleep. Yet I'm not comfortable leaving him here overnight (especially since they moved him to Hades). Please pray for me. My s-i-l is bringing me excedrin migraine... hopefully that and your prayers will do the trick.
5. The children are being a little squirrely (hope Jen Kallas isn't reading this and getting scared off). Pray for them. This is taking it's toll on them all in different ways. Noah misses his Daddy a lot and he "gets" what's going on so he is worried too. Jeremiah, Elijah and Hannah seem to be all fine and dandy but their poor behavior reveals that isn't really true. Don't forget to pray for Alex in Afghanistan, Amanda and Amber too.
Thanks so much to EVERYONE supporting us. Your love, prayers, food, gifts, are sustaining us through this trying time.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Information from the Neurosurgeon
Well John has two things wrong with his brain (I know, I know you thought there were many more than that).
1. Cavernoma – he has a spot on the left side of his brain which the neurosurgeon suspects is a cavernoma. Apparently a cavernoma is a leaky blood vessel. The doctor does not believe this is what is causing his symptoms: right side weakness, headaches, vision problems, etc… However, this area must be looked at more closely to confirm the doctor’s suspicions that it is not the main culprit.
2. Chiari Malformation – John also has a Chiari Malformation at the base of his brain. Basically, his brain is sinking into the top of his spinal column and putting pressure onto his spinal cord. The doctor suspects this is what is causing the symptoms. The solution for this is brain surgery.
What is the gameplan? It’s gonna move pretty quickly. Apparently the quicker this is resolved the more likely that John’s right side weakness and other symptoms will be resolved and not be permanent.
1. Tomorrow he goes to Hartford Hospital for an MRI of his cervical spine.
2. Monday he goes to St. Luke’s (in Milwaukee) for an angiogram of his brain.
3. Thursday we go back to the neurosurgeon to see if brain surgery is the recommendation.
Prayer, prayer, prayer, prayer, prayer! We need PRAYER!
1. Wisdom for the doctors, nurses, technicians, etc…. to figure this out for sure and come up with the proper plan of action.
2. Complete and total healing. Whether through God’s miraculous intervention or through the healing hands of the doctor doing surgery….beggars can’t be choosers. We will take it however we can get it.
3. Practical matters: caring for the kids during all of this, paying the bills if John ends up out of work for surgery, short-term disability, FMLA, how much sick time does he have left, etc, etc, etc…
As far as the children go: Alex is in Afghanistan and will find out what he needs to know when he needs to know it. Amanda and Amber are adults and we are including them on everything we know. Noah, Jeremiah, Elijah and Hannah are way too young to process this. We will be telling them in bits and pieces on an as need basis. For example, Monday they will be with my sister Cori all day, and they will know that Daddy has to have a better picture taken of his brain. If any of you have chance to talk with any of them about this, we wanted to make sure you know what we are telling them.
We are exhausted, a bit overwhelmed, but completely secure in the verse that closes every e-mail I send: He knows the plans He has for us and they are plans to prosper us and not to harm us… plans to give us hope and a future. Thank you in advance for your prayers.
1. Cavernoma – he has a spot on the left side of his brain which the neurosurgeon suspects is a cavernoma. Apparently a cavernoma is a leaky blood vessel. The doctor does not believe this is what is causing his symptoms: right side weakness, headaches, vision problems, etc… However, this area must be looked at more closely to confirm the doctor’s suspicions that it is not the main culprit.
2. Chiari Malformation – John also has a Chiari Malformation at the base of his brain. Basically, his brain is sinking into the top of his spinal column and putting pressure onto his spinal cord. The doctor suspects this is what is causing the symptoms. The solution for this is brain surgery.
What is the gameplan? It’s gonna move pretty quickly. Apparently the quicker this is resolved the more likely that John’s right side weakness and other symptoms will be resolved and not be permanent.
1. Tomorrow he goes to Hartford Hospital for an MRI of his cervical spine.
2. Monday he goes to St. Luke’s (in Milwaukee) for an angiogram of his brain.
3. Thursday we go back to the neurosurgeon to see if brain surgery is the recommendation.
Prayer, prayer, prayer, prayer, prayer! We need PRAYER!
1. Wisdom for the doctors, nurses, technicians, etc…. to figure this out for sure and come up with the proper plan of action.
2. Complete and total healing. Whether through God’s miraculous intervention or through the healing hands of the doctor doing surgery….beggars can’t be choosers. We will take it however we can get it.
3. Practical matters: caring for the kids during all of this, paying the bills if John ends up out of work for surgery, short-term disability, FMLA, how much sick time does he have left, etc, etc, etc…
As far as the children go: Alex is in Afghanistan and will find out what he needs to know when he needs to know it. Amanda and Amber are adults and we are including them on everything we know. Noah, Jeremiah, Elijah and Hannah are way too young to process this. We will be telling them in bits and pieces on an as need basis. For example, Monday they will be with my sister Cori all day, and they will know that Daddy has to have a better picture taken of his brain. If any of you have chance to talk with any of them about this, we wanted to make sure you know what we are telling them.
We are exhausted, a bit overwhelmed, but completely secure in the verse that closes every e-mail I send: He knows the plans He has for us and they are plans to prosper us and not to harm us… plans to give us hope and a future. Thank you in advance for your prayers.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
PRAY!
My heart is just so heavy today. Yesterday I was assaulted with desperate prayer requests.
***David just 11 years old an orphan adopted from Ethiopia is in his final stages of cancer. He can no longer see. He is suffering greatly. His parents are now just praying that God will take him Home.
***Amber 14 years old is also not winning her battle against cancer. My sister told me she was picking out the clothes she would wear at her funeral.
***Dear friends with their livelihood in jeopardy due to an unfair situation.
***The 17th surgery for my friends 10-year old daughter... she's still beating the odds 7 years after a near-fatal accident.
***Still praying daily for the VanZantens who are fighting to get past the issues with Baby Eli’s heart.
Sickness, broken hearts, poverty….they are all around me and they make my heart so heavy. I know the answer to this problem seems simplistic, but so often we overlook it. PRAY! Our hearts break, our eyes overflow with tears, yet so often we forget to PRAY! We question, we scream, we worry, we fret, but we don’t PRAY!
Here’s my encouragement for today….. PRAY! Stop right now and PRAY! Whenever you think of David and Amber and Baby Eli today, PRAY! When you feel worried or scared, PRAY! When things are going well, PRAY! I encourage you today to PRAY! Get your hand off that mouse right now and PRAY!
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Philippians 4:6
My dear friend had this as her Facebook status yesterday: It is a waste of time to think about things when I could be praying about them. So don't think about this blog at all.... don't mull over whether I'm right or wrong.... don't waste time even commenting on it. PRAY!
[post-script]
Right after I finished posting this, Noah came down the stairs terrified. He had a nightmare. I asked what it was about. He said, "War." Then he said, "Alex got killed." I practiced what I had just preached to all of you. I pulled him into my arms and prayed with him. I wanted to add Alex to my little list of prayer requests here, because I believe that sometimes God speaks to us in our dreams. I believe that Alex needs an extra hedge of protection around him TODAY. So please also pray for my step-son Alex Kastner. He is in Afghanistan serving our country right now.
***David just 11 years old an orphan adopted from Ethiopia is in his final stages of cancer. He can no longer see. He is suffering greatly. His parents are now just praying that God will take him Home.
***Amber 14 years old is also not winning her battle against cancer. My sister told me she was picking out the clothes she would wear at her funeral.
***Dear friends with their livelihood in jeopardy due to an unfair situation.
***The 17th surgery for my friends 10-year old daughter... she's still beating the odds 7 years after a near-fatal accident.
***Still praying daily for the VanZantens who are fighting to get past the issues with Baby Eli’s heart.
Sickness, broken hearts, poverty….they are all around me and they make my heart so heavy. I know the answer to this problem seems simplistic, but so often we overlook it. PRAY! Our hearts break, our eyes overflow with tears, yet so often we forget to PRAY! We question, we scream, we worry, we fret, but we don’t PRAY!
Here’s my encouragement for today….. PRAY! Stop right now and PRAY! Whenever you think of David and Amber and Baby Eli today, PRAY! When you feel worried or scared, PRAY! When things are going well, PRAY! I encourage you today to PRAY! Get your hand off that mouse right now and PRAY!
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Philippians 4:6
My dear friend had this as her Facebook status yesterday: It is a waste of time to think about things when I could be praying about them. So don't think about this blog at all.... don't mull over whether I'm right or wrong.... don't waste time even commenting on it. PRAY!
[post-script]
Right after I finished posting this, Noah came down the stairs terrified. He had a nightmare. I asked what it was about. He said, "War." Then he said, "Alex got killed." I practiced what I had just preached to all of you. I pulled him into my arms and prayed with him. I wanted to add Alex to my little list of prayer requests here, because I believe that sometimes God speaks to us in our dreams. I believe that Alex needs an extra hedge of protection around him TODAY. So please also pray for my step-son Alex Kastner. He is in Afghanistan serving our country right now.
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