[disclaimer: I did not mean to go all reggae on you this morning, but this little snippet was the ONLY version I could find on playlist.com but I figure it is kinda a nice taste of Jamaica for those of us who are stuck in 12 degree WI]
Wowzer! The past 48-hours has been a whirlwind. Christina and I have decided that we should contact Webster's and ask them to add the following definition:
Jami (noun): a 24-hour period in which more catastrophic and minorly irritating events happen to you than happen to most people in an entire year. Car accident, forgotten lunch, trip to the ER, and cat peed all over the comforter, what a Jami yesterday was!
It started when I received some heart breaking news about a dear loved one of mine. (names and details withheld to protect the innocent who didn't sign on to be a part of my blog)
Hear my cry, Oh Lord
Next came some GREAT news... but it was hugely momentous as well and not without a great deal of stress. (same as above regarding details)
Attend unto my prayer
Then began the truly sketchy part... Awoke to a text from my mom: Dad's taking me toWaukesha Memoria ER... heart... will text details.
From the ends of the earth, will I cry out to Thee
The entire day was FILLED with stress:
*snoblowed the driveway TWICE because John's neck flare up didn't allow him to do it; propane truck STILL couldn't get up the driveway; had to PAY THE SNOWPLOW GUY to plow driveway even though I sweated and labored and slipped my way through snowblowing it... TWICE!
*got ALL the way through the grocery store AND CHECKOUT only to find I had left my checkbook at home
*as I raced home to get the checkbook I didn't get over into a lane fast enough for some jerk behind me... he decided to just LAY on his horn until I moved... by that point I was ready to go POSTAL on someone.
*Mom was kept in the hospital overnight and scheduled for a 6 a.m. heart catherization.
And when my heart is overwhelmed
Lead me to the ROCK
That is higher than I
I have often wondered how people get through tough stuff without God. I mean I can hardly get through it with Him! I'm so glad I don't have to know.
Well my Jami is behind me (hopefully)... Today peace and calm has settled about my house. Gma spent the night last night so my dad could stay at the hospital with my mom. All four kiddos are still sleeping. John got off to work on time. I'm on my second cup of coffee. And BEST of all, I just got a text from my dad, Great news. All arteries virtually unchanged from ten years ago. Sending her back to room. We may be out by noon or so.
Thank you Jesus for being my Rock. I could NOT do this thing called life without you.
Showing posts with label Christina Miklos. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Christina Miklos. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
I'm alive! REALLY! I am!!!!
I did NOT fall off the face of the earth! I promise! I'm still here. "Well then, Jami, where have you been???" Well, it's been one of "those" months for the Kastners.
1. I was SICK (and actually am AGAIN now!) I got a cold and it lingered for three weeks before this stubborn, hard-headed, martyr mom, FINALLY went to the doctor. It took nearly the whole ten days of antibiotics to feel better. Now, I am coming down with something else. Before my inbox gets flooded with suggestions as to how to improve my immune system and demands that I see the doctor in case I have something wrong with me, I KNOW what is wrong with me: immune system horribly compromised by severe sleep deprivation. I'm working on it! I promise! Hannah's just going through the growing pains of giving up a nap, but yet she's not TOTALLY ready to give it up... Of course this means increased sleep deprivation for the mom. In the middle of cold/flu season, that is a LETHAL combination for my immune system.
Lesson learned: Playing the martyr typically does not end well. Trying to tough it out can sometimes be good (like if you're a professional football player getting paid a zillion dollars to tough it out through an injury).... but if you're a mom toughing it out with sickness typically just gets you further and further behind the eight ball. I STILL have not caught up on the laundry, the dishes have been one load behind for a month, and I am CONSTANTLY feeling tired. But God is SOOO good. Not only does He teach us a lesson: "Jami, do NOT put your health last ALL the time or the whole family will suffer." But He gives us a follow-up pop quiz: "Here's another little cold. Will you chose to take it easy or will you prove that you NEVER learn your lesson?" (I'm taking a nap in 33 min! I learned MY lesson!)
2. This past month, we had a WEEK filled with terror and death. Here's how it went down:
Thursday, October 14th.... I was only on day 2 of antibiotics... I had actually called in sick to my work-at-home job (that's only happened maybe 4 times in the past 11 years)... I was in bed and awoke to find I had missed several calls from my sister. When I finally called her back, she asked me some nutty question about John working and then hung up on me. I was half asleep, sick and VERY confused. I called her back several times and when she finally answered she asked me to meet her at Hartford Hospital because Luke was being sent to Children's in Flight for Life with a brain injury. The adrenaline PULSED through my body. I flew outta bed. I raced around looking for clothes while barking orders to the kids: "Get dressed! We're leaving! NOW!" It was one of the scariest things I can recall going through... Luke fell from a tree and ended up with a severe concussion, because Hartford Hospital doesn't handle pediatric head trauma he had to go to Children's in Flight for Life... scary, scary, SCARY.... but he is FINE! Struggling through recovering from a concussion but it could have been SO MUCH WORSE.
While all this was going on I was in communication with Christina about what had happened to Luke. At some point, she informed me that she had just found out her father had died. (I don't know if you all recall, but Christina lost her mother tragically in 2009... now she is 22 and an orphan.)
While we were still reeling from Luke's injury and trying to arrange plans for me to be at Christina's Dad's funeral, we learned that John's childhood best friend had passed away. While they had lost touch a little in recent years, this was a TRAGIC loss for John. He had been friends with Ron Kloeden since he was 5 years old. Every childhood memory John has includes Ron Kloeden. Ron was the best man in our wedding. It was VERY difficult for John.
That week was the toughest we've had since brain surgery. But as in all things, we persevered with His support.
Lesson learned: Life is SO fleeting. You just NEVER know what is around the corner. Live life to the fullest. Cherish every moment. Cling to those you love and don't let ONE MOMENT pass without telling them how you feel. [Oh and one more side lesson from this: my crazy, loud, occasionally-invasive family is THE BEST! As I stood there in the ER waiting room at Children's looking around at my sister who raced over from work, my Gma sitting in the wheelchair, Mom and Dad trying hard to be strong but terrified for their baby and their grandbaby, my husband who called in to his second job to support us all, and my sister the STRONGEST woman I know handling yet ANOTHER life-threatening crisis with her baby boy.... I reazlied... I have the GREATEST family in the whole entire world.]
Sooooo am I back? idk... I will try... but I have had to prioritize to get through this past month and blogging has been pushed WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY to the bottom of my priority list. So never fear... I am still here... but I may be a little quiet right now because now that I'm kinda on the upswing from crazy, zany October, I can see THE HOLIDAYS on the horizon and WAH! that's NOT going to ease my load!
Take care everyone!
1. I was SICK (and actually am AGAIN now!) I got a cold and it lingered for three weeks before this stubborn, hard-headed, martyr mom, FINALLY went to the doctor. It took nearly the whole ten days of antibiotics to feel better. Now, I am coming down with something else. Before my inbox gets flooded with suggestions as to how to improve my immune system and demands that I see the doctor in case I have something wrong with me, I KNOW what is wrong with me: immune system horribly compromised by severe sleep deprivation. I'm working on it! I promise! Hannah's just going through the growing pains of giving up a nap, but yet she's not TOTALLY ready to give it up... Of course this means increased sleep deprivation for the mom. In the middle of cold/flu season, that is a LETHAL combination for my immune system.
Lesson learned: Playing the martyr typically does not end well. Trying to tough it out can sometimes be good (like if you're a professional football player getting paid a zillion dollars to tough it out through an injury).... but if you're a mom toughing it out with sickness typically just gets you further and further behind the eight ball. I STILL have not caught up on the laundry, the dishes have been one load behind for a month, and I am CONSTANTLY feeling tired. But God is SOOO good. Not only does He teach us a lesson: "Jami, do NOT put your health last ALL the time or the whole family will suffer." But He gives us a follow-up pop quiz: "Here's another little cold. Will you chose to take it easy or will you prove that you NEVER learn your lesson?" (I'm taking a nap in 33 min! I learned MY lesson!)
2. This past month, we had a WEEK filled with terror and death. Here's how it went down:
Thursday, October 14th.... I was only on day 2 of antibiotics... I had actually called in sick to my work-at-home job (that's only happened maybe 4 times in the past 11 years)... I was in bed and awoke to find I had missed several calls from my sister. When I finally called her back, she asked me some nutty question about John working and then hung up on me. I was half asleep, sick and VERY confused. I called her back several times and when she finally answered she asked me to meet her at Hartford Hospital because Luke was being sent to Children's in Flight for Life with a brain injury. The adrenaline PULSED through my body. I flew outta bed. I raced around looking for clothes while barking orders to the kids: "Get dressed! We're leaving! NOW!" It was one of the scariest things I can recall going through... Luke fell from a tree and ended up with a severe concussion, because Hartford Hospital doesn't handle pediatric head trauma he had to go to Children's in Flight for Life... scary, scary, SCARY.... but he is FINE! Struggling through recovering from a concussion but it could have been SO MUCH WORSE.
While all this was going on I was in communication with Christina about what had happened to Luke. At some point, she informed me that she had just found out her father had died. (I don't know if you all recall, but Christina lost her mother tragically in 2009... now she is 22 and an orphan.)
While we were still reeling from Luke's injury and trying to arrange plans for me to be at Christina's Dad's funeral, we learned that John's childhood best friend had passed away. While they had lost touch a little in recent years, this was a TRAGIC loss for John. He had been friends with Ron Kloeden since he was 5 years old. Every childhood memory John has includes Ron Kloeden. Ron was the best man in our wedding. It was VERY difficult for John.
That week was the toughest we've had since brain surgery. But as in all things, we persevered with His support.
Lesson learned: Life is SO fleeting. You just NEVER know what is around the corner. Live life to the fullest. Cherish every moment. Cling to those you love and don't let ONE MOMENT pass without telling them how you feel. [Oh and one more side lesson from this: my crazy, loud, occasionally-invasive family is THE BEST! As I stood there in the ER waiting room at Children's looking around at my sister who raced over from work, my Gma sitting in the wheelchair, Mom and Dad trying hard to be strong but terrified for their baby and their grandbaby, my husband who called in to his second job to support us all, and my sister the STRONGEST woman I know handling yet ANOTHER life-threatening crisis with her baby boy.... I reazlied... I have the GREATEST family in the whole entire world.]
Sooooo am I back? idk... I will try... but I have had to prioritize to get through this past month and blogging has been pushed WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY to the bottom of my priority list. So never fear... I am still here... but I may be a little quiet right now because now that I'm kinda on the upswing from crazy, zany October, I can see THE HOLIDAYS on the horizon and WAH! that's NOT going to ease my load!
Take care everyone!
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Friends are like a box of crayons.....
My friend Lori is such a blessing to me lately. She thinks that I am the one that is blessing her. We talk about spiritual life applications, and she literally jots down notes about what I say! She thinks that God put me in her life to help her understand some of the things she is struggling through right now, but HA! the joke is on her! I think God put her in MY life to help build me up and encourage me.
What some of you may not know about me (but what my mother knows INTIMATELY and I think sometimes wishes she could change) is I am very, very, VERY hard on myself. I very often struggle to find good things... really any redeemable qualities in myself. I am the quintessential perfectionist.
Since this perfectionist has been through a very hard year, she is battered, weary, and little bit bruised. Lately, however, I have felt myself gaining back a little strength, starting to have the ability to lift my head on my own and look around a bit. The problem is... as a perfectionist. my natural tendency now that I have a little strength, is to critique myself.... to think of every single thing I've let slide over the past year... to get down on myself for lacking in this... slacking in that... failing in EVERYTHING!
Here's where Lori comes in: she thinks that I am giving her all these great insights (gleaned only from a wealth of suffering I might add), but I don't think she fully realizes what she is doing for me. She is building me up. She is encouraging me more than I can express. She is helping me to find a few things good about myself... in FACT!!!! In a VERY, VERY, VERY rare occurrence... during a conversation with her this morning, I actually complimented myself! ME!!! Jami!!! I independently found something good about myself and actually said to her, "I am really good at this." What a BREAKTHROUGH! When she says to me, "You have SUCH a great way with analogies." She thinks she is just stating what she sees to be true, but it is SO much more for me. It is like she is pouring soothing, healing oil on a aching wound.
About now I'm sure many of you are wondering... so what's with the Forest Gump blog title then.... Here it comes... I wanted to write this blog about Lori, but then I thought, "Well... I don't want to make anyone feel bad." Will it hurt Christina's feelings that I singled out Lori? Will Peggy worry that I don't value her friendship enough to blog about her? Will my dear amazing sisters who are more valuable to me than gold think, "Humpf! she didn't blog about me!" Which is when I heard the voice of Forest Gump in my head, "Friends are like a box of crayons..." (Actually friends are the crayons, but work with me here.) While Lori is great and amazing and wonderful, she's not the only crayon in my crayon box. I have many other colors and without them, the pictures I draw would be incomplete. We all need Loris and Christinas and Peggys and Jodis and Coris... (actually we all need one of those little crayon sharpeners, like the one on the box of 64 crayons, too... but that's not what this blog is about)... And it is okay if right now most my pictures are heavily tinged with pink and some of the other colors get a little rest to hang out in the box.... Eventually I'm sure I'll go through a season of my life where I'll pick up the red more often or the green or the blue...
My encouragement to all of you is to remember: Friends are like a box of crayons. The more colors we have at our disposal the better the pictures we draw will be. It is okay if sometimes you get a new crayon (or in the case of Lori... you discover an old crayon at the back of the box you haven't used in awhile and move it to the front lines) and you LOVE to color everything that color... That doesn't make the other colors any less important... any less valuable. In my opinion, the prettiest pictures of life are drawn by those of us who have the most crayons in our crayon box.
What some of you may not know about me (but what my mother knows INTIMATELY and I think sometimes wishes she could change) is I am very, very, VERY hard on myself. I very often struggle to find good things... really any redeemable qualities in myself. I am the quintessential perfectionist.
Since this perfectionist has been through a very hard year, she is battered, weary, and little bit bruised. Lately, however, I have felt myself gaining back a little strength, starting to have the ability to lift my head on my own and look around a bit. The problem is... as a perfectionist. my natural tendency now that I have a little strength, is to critique myself.... to think of every single thing I've let slide over the past year... to get down on myself for lacking in this... slacking in that... failing in EVERYTHING!
Here's where Lori comes in: she thinks that I am giving her all these great insights (gleaned only from a wealth of suffering I might add), but I don't think she fully realizes what she is doing for me. She is building me up. She is encouraging me more than I can express. She is helping me to find a few things good about myself... in FACT!!!! In a VERY, VERY, VERY rare occurrence... during a conversation with her this morning, I actually complimented myself! ME!!! Jami!!! I independently found something good about myself and actually said to her, "I am really good at this." What a BREAKTHROUGH! When she says to me, "You have SUCH a great way with analogies." She thinks she is just stating what she sees to be true, but it is SO much more for me. It is like she is pouring soothing, healing oil on a aching wound.
About now I'm sure many of you are wondering... so what's with the Forest Gump blog title then.... Here it comes... I wanted to write this blog about Lori, but then I thought, "Well... I don't want to make anyone feel bad." Will it hurt Christina's feelings that I singled out Lori? Will Peggy worry that I don't value her friendship enough to blog about her? Will my dear amazing sisters who are more valuable to me than gold think, "Humpf! she didn't blog about me!" Which is when I heard the voice of Forest Gump in my head, "Friends are like a box of crayons..." (Actually friends are the crayons, but work with me here.) While Lori is great and amazing and wonderful, she's not the only crayon in my crayon box. I have many other colors and without them, the pictures I draw would be incomplete. We all need Loris and Christinas and Peggys and Jodis and Coris... (actually we all need one of those little crayon sharpeners, like the one on the box of 64 crayons, too... but that's not what this blog is about)... And it is okay if right now most my pictures are heavily tinged with pink and some of the other colors get a little rest to hang out in the box.... Eventually I'm sure I'll go through a season of my life where I'll pick up the red more often or the green or the blue...
My encouragement to all of you is to remember: Friends are like a box of crayons. The more colors we have at our disposal the better the pictures we draw will be. It is okay if sometimes you get a new crayon (or in the case of Lori... you discover an old crayon at the back of the box you haven't used in awhile and move it to the front lines) and you LOVE to color everything that color... That doesn't make the other colors any less important... any less valuable. In my opinion, the prettiest pictures of life are drawn by those of us who have the most crayons in our crayon box.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
God doesn't play favorites....
When we coached cheer and ran the youth group, there were always those few kids we were closer to. I'm sure it seemed to an outsider, that John and I had "favorites" on the squad or "favorites" in the youth group. However, I'm going to let you in on a little secret: we loved each and every cheerleader who cartwheeled into our heart and each and every youth group kid who shuffled through our doorway. Our love for those teenagers was equal.
"Well, Jami?" you might ask, "Then why was Sarah Gorski at your house so much more then anyone else?" Here's the secret: the difference was Sarah Gorski. Sarah Gorski stopped over at our house after school got out. Sarah Gorski called us and said, "I don't have plans tonight. Can I come over?" Sarah Gorski would call/text/e-mail... Sarah Gorski came to the birthday parties we held. Sarah Gorski made herself a PRESENCE in the Kastner household and in every part of our lives. We loved every single teenager just as much as we love Sarah Gorski, but we were closer to Sarah because SHE made the effort to be close to us. Over the years there have been MANY just like this. Maybe to you they appear to be favorites: Krista Olearnick, Jessie Pennington, Erika Conner, Alicia Gac, Christina Miklos, Danielle Mabrey, Tracey Jenkins, Kat Friedl, Ben Houle, Royce Pochowski... but you know what ALL of those kids had in common? They made the effort to be closer to us... so they were.
I see this phenomenon happening in my very own family. John loves ALL our children equally. However, he has a special closeness with Noah. This isn't because he loves Noah more. It isn't really even because he and Noah are more similar (he's actually more like Jeremiah than Noah). This is because, if Daddy is home, Noah is by his side. Noah wants to be wherever John is. Whether that's sweeping up garbage in the garage or playing Xbox, Noah wants to be there. Jeremiah loves John but he doesn't pursue John the way Noah does.
It's like that with God you know. He doesn't play favorites either. He loves each and every one of us EXACTLY the same. You know what the difference is? Those who appear to be closer to Him.... Those who appear to "hear" from Him.... Those who seem to walk in sync with Him.... They are like that because THEY pursue Him. People hear from God because they are listening. People are close to God because they pursue Him. People walk in sync with God because they want to be with Him.
Look at your life today. Are you as close to God as you want to be? No one can change that but YOU. He has been pursuing you. He loves you. He WANTS to be closer to you. He WANTS other people to think that you are His favorite. He IS talking to you... are you listening?
Come near to God and He will come near to you.
James 4:8a
"Well, Jami?" you might ask, "Then why was Sarah Gorski at your house so much more then anyone else?" Here's the secret: the difference was Sarah Gorski. Sarah Gorski stopped over at our house after school got out. Sarah Gorski called us and said, "I don't have plans tonight. Can I come over?" Sarah Gorski would call/text/e-mail... Sarah Gorski came to the birthday parties we held. Sarah Gorski made herself a PRESENCE in the Kastner household and in every part of our lives. We loved every single teenager just as much as we love Sarah Gorski, but we were closer to Sarah because SHE made the effort to be close to us. Over the years there have been MANY just like this. Maybe to you they appear to be favorites: Krista Olearnick, Jessie Pennington, Erika Conner, Alicia Gac, Christina Miklos, Danielle Mabrey, Tracey Jenkins, Kat Friedl, Ben Houle, Royce Pochowski... but you know what ALL of those kids had in common? They made the effort to be closer to us... so they were.
I see this phenomenon happening in my very own family. John loves ALL our children equally. However, he has a special closeness with Noah. This isn't because he loves Noah more. It isn't really even because he and Noah are more similar (he's actually more like Jeremiah than Noah). This is because, if Daddy is home, Noah is by his side. Noah wants to be wherever John is. Whether that's sweeping up garbage in the garage or playing Xbox, Noah wants to be there. Jeremiah loves John but he doesn't pursue John the way Noah does.
It's like that with God you know. He doesn't play favorites either. He loves each and every one of us EXACTLY the same. You know what the difference is? Those who appear to be closer to Him.... Those who appear to "hear" from Him.... Those who seem to walk in sync with Him.... They are like that because THEY pursue Him. People hear from God because they are listening. People are close to God because they pursue Him. People walk in sync with God because they want to be with Him.
Look at your life today. Are you as close to God as you want to be? No one can change that but YOU. He has been pursuing you. He loves you. He WANTS to be closer to you. He WANTS other people to think that you are His favorite. He IS talking to you... are you listening?
Come near to God and He will come near to you.
James 4:8a
Saturday, July 24, 2010
God's billboard.....
So yesterday I spent some time skimming through my blog entries and adding labels to them in order to encourage people to read more parts of my blog. As I read I started to feel a deepening sense of shame settle upon me. Ugh! Our life as chronicled in my blog reads like a never-ending story of destitution! I started to feel embarrassment and shame creep in. Maybe I shouldn't be telling everyone all this. It is so HUMILIATING! I felt a quiet whisper to my soul, "I have a purpose. This is not for nothing." Without fully getting the "purpose" I plodded on finishing up my labeling and moving on to another task.
Later I was sharing this with Christina. I said to her, "I guess my faith must just be REALLY weak because it keeps on being tested." She responded with words that comforted my soul, but more than that, I believe they were a word directly from God. She said, "No.... Your faith is really STRONG. People around you need to have their faith strengthened and God knows you are strong enough to do that for us." I pondered that a little and tucked it away.
Finally, the third piece of the puzzle came to me during Family Worship. We were singing the song Undignified by the David Crowder Band. We got to this part:
And I'll become
Even more undignified than this
Some may say
It's foolishness
And I'll become
Even more undignified than this
Leave my pride
By my side
and it HIT me! HARD! Maybe God is calling me to lay my shame and humiliation out there for everyone to see so that they can ALSO see His power and greatness revealed through it, and if that is the CASE!!!!! I'll become even more undignified than this!!! I completely WILL leave my pride by my side! This stinks! It is humiliating! I'd much prefer to be living with creature comforts... bills paid on time... vehicles that WORK! but if just ONE person sees Jesus through my humiliation, then BRING IT ON! Let me be debased! Let me be humbled! Let me be poorer then poor for I am being used by God.
This morning God revealed more to me: John and I are a billboard for God. He is using us to broadcast His power because he found us to be strong enough to take it and to have big enough mouths to blab about even the embarrassing parts of our struggles!
Here's what happened this morning..... If you've been keeping up on my blog, you know that our minivan is in the shop. The original estimate was $600. A preliminary report (which we thought was their "final answer") was that the repair would only cost $118.92; however, not too long after, we were told that was only the figure for the FIRST thing they were trying to fix the problem. We have been CLINGING to hope and REFUSING to let the devil make us worry since TUESDAY. Yet still NO answer from the repair shop.
Yesterday John's Buick started having some troubles. We prayed HARD, but this morning he called me at about 9 a.m. and said he could NOT get the car into gear. Trying not to panic at the thought of being completely without a car, I called my parents who are out of town for the weekend (and by my count would have at least two if not three unused cars sitting in front of their house right now). Dad said, "Go get the truck." So I started making plans to figure out how to pick up the truck, while John called the repair shop to see if they could tell him what the problem might be with the Buick.
I went in and rallied the troops. Told them that we needed to pray for a miracle. The kids sat up rubbing sleep out of their eyes and immediately bowed their heads. After we prayed for a miracle, I returned to the kitchen and started texting my "prayer warriors." Before I could even FINISH the text, John was calling back. When he called to ask about the Buick, he was told the minivan was READY. While the guy didn't have the exact total, he remembered it was less than $130!!!! PRAISE JESUS!!!! I didn't even have time to ask my friends to PRAY for a miracle before I received it!
Over and over and over again over the past few weeks God has been speaking to me, "If God is for us who can be against us?" That is what I want to speak to you today. For those of you who need a miracle RIGHT now, please listen closely and read this part carefully: He already has your miracle PREPARED! Just because you don't see it yet, doesn't mean it isn't coming!!! Do you believe that He is on your side???? Then what does it matter what you face??? You have a BIG HUGE GOD on your side! Doesn't matter what the devil has on his side. It can't compare to what you have.
Let's imagine that Elijah and a bunch of 7 year olds are going to play basketball. Let's say that standing among the 7-year olds waiting to be picked for a team is Shaquille O'Neal. Elijah is a team captain, and he gets first pick. He, OF COURSE, picks Shaq. Does it matter who the other kid picks for his team???? Does it matter if he takes ALL the 7 year olds available???? Elijah has SHAQUILLE O'NEAL on his team!!!! The game is OVER before it begins!
That is what you have. Does it matter if the other side scores a few points? Does it matter if they win a few battles??? You have GOD on your side!!! We ALL know that NO ONE can beat God so Satan can have his trivial little victories for in the end.... GOD WINS!
I hope this installment of the Kastner's destitution turns into a MIRACULOUS victory for God has encouraged you. I know it encouraged me... and Christina... and Rosalind...
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
A bum thumb...
A few months ago, I hyper extended my thumb. I could tell it was not broken so I did not go to the doctor; however, time would tell that I had pretty badly damaged it even if I hadn't broken a bone. I lost much mobility and almost all strength in that thumb. I was unable to bend it very far. With time it started to heal from excruciating and constant pain to a dull ache to hardly hurting at all. However, still now, three months after the injury, it is not as strong as it was, and if I bump it or jam it in a certain direction, the pain returns in waves feeling nearly as bad as it did when I first hurt it.
I jammed it at the end of last week (and then several times over the weekend... seems when it rains it pours). As the pain rushed in I thought, "DARN! That thing is just NOT better!" Now for the past few days it has been sore again, and I've taken a few steps back in strength and mobility in that thumb.
This got me thinking... some of life's emotional hurts are like that. Some of the REALLY big things, the ones that are nearly our undoing, keep on hurting for a long time. You struggle through the pain and agony. You push through trying to rehabilitate. Then without warning an unexpected jolt comes from out of nowhere stabbing deeply into the partially healed wound. It might be a flippant comment, a familiar scent which evokes an unpleasant memory, a return to the "scene of the crime," or even a memory of a time before the "injury." Immediately, it feels like you are transported back to the first moment of betrayal, loss, heart break. The pain is so intense, and you feel discouraged by the realization that you have not quite healed yet. For days after, the pulsing of pain in that area of your life reminds you that there is still restoration to be done.
I discussed this connection recently with my dear friend Christina. In late June I received a middle of the night phone call from Christina. My gut fell when she told me, "My mom is dead." Christina is just 21 years old. Her mom was just a few years older than I. A motorcycle accident claimed her life. When I shared the thumb situation with her and then compared it to a major hurt in my life, she wholeheartedly agreed with my connection between the thumb and emotional pain. She admitted that sometimes a random occurrence will transport her right back to that night she first heard the news. Her heart will explode with the pain of the announcement. For days afterward she will feel sore again almost tender to the touch.
Here's the good news, it is not for nothing. I think these "reinjuries" are akin to emotional physical therapy. It is almost like it is necessary for you to "bump that thumb" to remind you how far you've come, to begin another phase of your healing, or maybe just so that you NEVER forget that sin, betrayal, loss, heart break. So that you never forget the lessons you learned from it.
Whatever occurrence this blog brought to your mind today... whether it is the loss of a loved one, betrayal from someone who should have never let you down, or disappointment so deep it feels bottomless... know these two things:
1. He is Jehovah Rophe, the God who heals. He will continue healing that fracture in your heart.
2. Feeling and remembering the pain does NOT mean you have not made any ground. So take a second to look back at that earthquake that hit your life. Do not shy away from it. Acknowledge how far you have come in your recovery, but allow yourself to grieve it some more so that you can take another step forward towards full and complete healing.
I jammed it at the end of last week (and then several times over the weekend... seems when it rains it pours). As the pain rushed in I thought, "DARN! That thing is just NOT better!" Now for the past few days it has been sore again, and I've taken a few steps back in strength and mobility in that thumb.
This got me thinking... some of life's emotional hurts are like that. Some of the REALLY big things, the ones that are nearly our undoing, keep on hurting for a long time. You struggle through the pain and agony. You push through trying to rehabilitate. Then without warning an unexpected jolt comes from out of nowhere stabbing deeply into the partially healed wound. It might be a flippant comment, a familiar scent which evokes an unpleasant memory, a return to the "scene of the crime," or even a memory of a time before the "injury." Immediately, it feels like you are transported back to the first moment of betrayal, loss, heart break. The pain is so intense, and you feel discouraged by the realization that you have not quite healed yet. For days after, the pulsing of pain in that area of your life reminds you that there is still restoration to be done.
I discussed this connection recently with my dear friend Christina. In late June I received a middle of the night phone call from Christina. My gut fell when she told me, "My mom is dead." Christina is just 21 years old. Her mom was just a few years older than I. A motorcycle accident claimed her life. When I shared the thumb situation with her and then compared it to a major hurt in my life, she wholeheartedly agreed with my connection between the thumb and emotional pain. She admitted that sometimes a random occurrence will transport her right back to that night she first heard the news. Her heart will explode with the pain of the announcement. For days afterward she will feel sore again almost tender to the touch.
Here's the good news, it is not for nothing. I think these "reinjuries" are akin to emotional physical therapy. It is almost like it is necessary for you to "bump that thumb" to remind you how far you've come, to begin another phase of your healing, or maybe just so that you NEVER forget that sin, betrayal, loss, heart break. So that you never forget the lessons you learned from it.
Whatever occurrence this blog brought to your mind today... whether it is the loss of a loved one, betrayal from someone who should have never let you down, or disappointment so deep it feels bottomless... know these two things:
1. He is Jehovah Rophe, the God who heals. He will continue healing that fracture in your heart.
2. Feeling and remembering the pain does NOT mean you have not made any ground. So take a second to look back at that earthquake that hit your life. Do not shy away from it. Acknowledge how far you have come in your recovery, but allow yourself to grieve it some more so that you can take another step forward towards full and complete healing.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Miracle update....
I keep meaning to write an eloquent piece on this, complete with a spiritual application, but I am soooooo swamped today! My work is pouring in (PRAISE THE LORD!). My dear friend lost her mother last night to a motorcycle accident. I feel as if I have things swirling all about my head and I'm not sure which to attend to first. Christina has taken FULL priority today and my need to obsessively check in on her has taken complete precedence. But I know so many are waiting for news on how it went at the house yesterday. So here it is: cut and pasted from the e-mail I sent my family late last night. It isn't very eloquent and there isn't a spiritual application, but here's the dirt:
It went VERY well today. The house is in some ways much better than we had anticipated and in some ways not as nice as we had anticipated.
For example:
MUCH better
*the tile in the kitchen is MUCH better than we could tell from the picture
*there is a 4th room in the basement which has a HUMONGOUS closet attached to it
*there is soooooo much storage room: closets tucked away everywhere, 5 garages worth of space, a GREAT mudroom
Not as nice
*the garden I saw in the backyard was not on “our” property it was the neighbors
*the washer & dryer hookup is in the main level bathroom; that was a little weird
*I was walking up the stairs onto the deck and the stairway broke off and fell away. The owner will fix that but it was NOT cool.
However, overall we are still VERY much in like with this house. We are talking about renting it on or around 8/1 and later figuring out the details of the rent-to-own contract. This will involve a portion of our rent being applied to our down payment after our 2-year lease ends. That fact alone makes it such a wise move for us, as right now every penny we pay in rent results in NO return on our money. Also since we will not be tied into buying at the end of 2 years, if it is a HORRIBLE place we just choose not to buy it. This would kinda be like a rental move with a GREAT option at the end of the lease… apply some of the money we’ve paid in rent to a down payment and buy the place.
So where we stand right now: the owner is sending us an application so we can get a lease agreement nailed down. Then we are going to be in a FLURRY to get packed up and out of this place in just about 7 weeks! Please keep on praying. This pretty much seems like a no-brainer… almost no commitment from us (other than renting for the next 2 years) and TONS of benefits should this house turn out to be the place we want to purchase. So now please just pray for all of the things we have to get done in the next 7 weeks. As you all know, John and I both have little to NO free time…. But effective immediately we have to start cleaning up, throwing out and packing up… AHHHHHHH! All for a GREAT result though… taking one more step in the direction of becoming homeowners.
Oh and for all those who expressed worries about us moving so “far away”…. tonight we made it home in 55 minutes flat! Door-to-door!
It went VERY well today. The house is in some ways much better than we had anticipated and in some ways not as nice as we had anticipated.
For example:
MUCH better
*the tile in the kitchen is MUCH better than we could tell from the picture
*there is a 4th room in the basement which has a HUMONGOUS closet attached to it
*there is soooooo much storage room: closets tucked away everywhere, 5 garages worth of space, a GREAT mudroom
Not as nice
*the garden I saw in the backyard was not on “our” property it was the neighbors
*the washer & dryer hookup is in the main level bathroom; that was a little weird
*I was walking up the stairs onto the deck and the stairway broke off and fell away. The owner will fix that but it was NOT cool.
However, overall we are still VERY much in like with this house. We are talking about renting it on or around 8/1 and later figuring out the details of the rent-to-own contract. This will involve a portion of our rent being applied to our down payment after our 2-year lease ends. That fact alone makes it such a wise move for us, as right now every penny we pay in rent results in NO return on our money. Also since we will not be tied into buying at the end of 2 years, if it is a HORRIBLE place we just choose not to buy it. This would kinda be like a rental move with a GREAT option at the end of the lease… apply some of the money we’ve paid in rent to a down payment and buy the place.
So where we stand right now: the owner is sending us an application so we can get a lease agreement nailed down. Then we are going to be in a FLURRY to get packed up and out of this place in just about 7 weeks! Please keep on praying. This pretty much seems like a no-brainer… almost no commitment from us (other than renting for the next 2 years) and TONS of benefits should this house turn out to be the place we want to purchase. So now please just pray for all of the things we have to get done in the next 7 weeks. As you all know, John and I both have little to NO free time…. But effective immediately we have to start cleaning up, throwing out and packing up… AHHHHHHH! All for a GREAT result though… taking one more step in the direction of becoming homeowners.
Oh and for all those who expressed worries about us moving so “far away”…. tonight we made it home in 55 minutes flat! Door-to-door!
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