Showing posts with label Sarah Bowling. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sarah Bowling. Show all posts

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Jami's friend manifesto

Cultivate friendships which provoke you to love Jesus more/better.... Sarah Bowling

This was Sarah's FB status earlier this week.  It hit me like a slap in the face.  For over a year now I have REALLY been struggling in the area of friendships.  Truth be told it has been A LOT longer than a year.  Probably since I started coaching cheer at FHS and then on through when John and I led the youth group, I had a VERY full social life, but all of my relationships were mentoring type relationships.   I didn't really have any friends my own age or any who were at my same stage of life.  I started feeling the void left by this deficiency about two years ago.  I prayed and begged God to send me a friend or two.  I just wanted someone who was in my own generation.

What followed was a quick succession of friends who betrayed me, judged me, and believed only the worst about me.  These friendships left me battered and bruised.  In fact, JUST THIS WEEK I said to my sister, "I don't want any more friends!  Friends hurt TOO much!".

So when I first read that FB status it stung across my face leaving a red, hand imprint.  It hurt!  Because even this week my eyes have been furtively darting about searching for a safe hiding place where I could hole up and keep myself safe from these prickly, sharp-edged, pain causing things called friends.

Backed into a corner, setting up sandbags of defense I all of a sudden STOPPED as the application of that statement washed over me. I thought, "Wait a minute!  I have to BE the kind of friend who provokes her friends to love Jesus more/better."  That's all I can control!  The answer isn't holing myself away from the world becoming a friend-a-phob.  The answer is being the kind of friend who spurs people on to loving Him!

I learned long ago that the only person whose actions I can control is ME.  I can't sit around waiting for people to come to me.  I have to go out and BE the kind of friend I need.  So here it is:  my friend manifesto.  What follows is a description of the kind of friend I want to BE.

1.  Loving... I want to be the kind of friend who LOVES people.  I believe that we lead people to Jesus with love.  No one wants to be told how they don't measure up or what they don't do well enough in.  I want my friends to find love and acceptance in my presence.  I don't want to be an encyclopedia of how things should be done or how life should be lived.  I want to be like a pair of those ubber soft, warm and comfy slipper socks.  I want my friends to find softness, comfort, warmth from me... I don't care so much if they find cold hard learning here.

2.  Giving.... I want to be the kind of friend who would give the shirt off her back to help ANYONE.  I want to give lavishly of my time, attention and resources.  I want to reach out to those in need.  I want to cook meals for those who are laid up.  I want to give our hand-me-downs to bless someone.  I don't care how "down and out" I am... I never, ever, ever want to stop being generous.  I never, ever want to stop giving.  I want my friends to know if they need something and there is ANYTHING I can do, I will do it.

3.  Forgiving...  I want to be the kind of friend who forgives ANYTHING.  I want to forgive 70x7.  I want to turn the other cheek EVERY SINGLE TIME I am slapped.  I know that I am inviting pain by doing this.  I know I could avoid some of the agony by walking away from friends who continually hurt me, but I don't CARE!  I wanna forgive because I have been FORGIVEN!  I want my friends to know that our friendship is secure.  That no matter WHAT I will forgive them.

I guess as I typed this I realized that I want to be Jesus to all my friends.  I know that is a tall order, but that's okay because I am a stubborn old girl, and I will not give up on reaching that goal.  So starting today, I am going to do everything in my power to be the kind of friend I want to have.  One who provokes others to love Jesus more/better.  

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Cleansing my soul....

This morning a friend's Facebook status (Sarah Bowling) caught my attention: it said, "I think ever so often we should consider doing a soul cleanse - just some food for thought." I immediately took this idea to my bff. "What do you think, Hon? Are you game?"

Together we started pondering the idea of a soul cleanse. We are SUCH huge fans of cleansing diets. While we never seem to make it all the way through one, we still believe deeply in the concept of cleansing toxins from one's body. So the idea of doing a cleanse for our souls really appealed to us.

We started thinking through what a cleansing diet involves: eliminating junk food and increasing healthy food.... the result of which is a cleansing of toxins from one's body. Then we marinated on how could we fashion a "cleansing diet" for our souls.

First we contemplated what things are junk food to our soul. Junk food in our diet isn't necessarily evil, but it does fill our bellies with food that does not bring much nutritive benefit to our bodies. There are things in our life that do the same thing to our spirits. They are not necessarily evil or sinful, in and of themselves, but they fill our time with stuff that does not bring much benefit to our spirit. We tried to identify what things in our life have little to no spiritual value. The list John and I came up with included: secular music, talk radio, and TV. We decided these things, while not "sin," are taking up space that could be filled with more spiritual pursuits.

Next we contemplated what is spiritual health food. What are the good things we should increase in our daily spiritual "diet" in order to eliminate spiritual toxins. We thought, "How can we get more God into our lives?" These spiritual "health foods" boiled down to three things: 1. Prayer 2. Reading the Word 3. Worship. We started thinking through our schedules and coming up with ways to get more and more of these three things into our lives.

One thing we change we have ABSOLUTELY got to make is: we have to get back to church! Car problems have kept us from traveling the 40 minutes to church for months now. We need a BIG repair to fix the problem and are not able to drive long distances right now. Today we spent some time searching for an "interim" church, and we found one just 15 minutes away! Even if it isn't the church where our hearts are, at least we will be at church. And who knows! Maybe God has plans for us at this "interim" church.

Another thing we are committing to: Family Worship. For a long time in the beginning of 2009, our family faithfully worshiped together on Friday nights. We would spend an hour or so, praising and worshiping, dancing and clapping, crying and praying. It was an AMAZING thing. However, somehow when the storms started we let that habit fall to the wayside. It is being revived again this week. In fact, this week we are going to try to do Family Worship EVERY SINGLE night! (Some of you BETTER keep me accountable and ask how many times we actually did it!) Then after our cleansing week ends, we plan to return to weekly Family Worship times.

It didn't take long as we were hatching these plans, for me to feel my stomach drop with the realization that Satan was NOT going to like this. I wanted to throw up, but yet I was not really deterred. See quick rewind back to 2009. John and I were ON FIRE for God! We were praying fervently and faithfully for a revival in our church. We were working hard to lead the youth of our church closer and closer to Christ. Using Facebook, I started a prayer group. I spent nearly every morning praying through long lists of requests, some from people I didn't even know personally. We might as well have been waving a red cape in front of a raging bull. John even posted on Facebook one day, "Bring it on Satan." Only we didn't fully realize how what we were doing was going to stir of the forces of the evil realm, and I don't think either of us had a healthy enough respect for what exactly Satan is capable of. So when Satan charged at us we didn't have our eyes on him, we weren't prepared for his attack. He blindsided us from what seemed like out of NOWHERE. He brought weapons to the fight that we didn't even know existed, and while he did not win (for he NEVER does) at the end of the battle John and I found ourselves face down in mud that was tinged with our own blood. Gravely but not fatally wounded, we found ourselves with a new appreciation for Satan's crafty power, a sickening realization of our frail, wicked humanity, and a triumphant assurance of His sovereignty, goodness, and never-ending, loving, kindness.

But this time I feel we will weather the battle better. I stopped the second I got that sick realization that we were about to HACK off the devil. I went to John, and we agreed in prayer, covering our entire family, our possessions, our relationship with the blood of Christ. I know we are about to make the devil a very unhappy camper, but this time we are ready for him. I don't want to fight him again. I don't relish the thought of battling him, especially since we really haven't even recovered from the last series of skirmishes. But I want MORE of God in my life. I want to know Him more deeply. I want to love Him more completely. I want to reflect Him more clearly. And if I have to fight to get that, so be it.

Last night we watched Independence Day. (I LOVE that movie! However, during our soul cleansing it will not be on the list of approved pursuits.) After an air battle with an alien which results in a crash, Will Smith opens the alien craft to find the alien inside is STILL alive. He punches the thing full in the face and knocks it unconscious. That scene inspired me! His character had just finished a grueling dogfight in which his best friend was killed. He was tired and weary yet when he saw the enemy was still writhing he rose to the challenge and knocked that alien OUT!

I too have been through a grueling battle. The past 12 months have been wrought with battles. My husband, my marriage, my family, my very life, and everything I hold dear have been threatened. I am tired and weary, but I tell you what, I am NOT going to go down without a fight! I am going to keep on taking swings at that crafty old snake, and I will crush him under my foot because I am a child of the King and MY SIDE WINS IN THE END! No matter how many stupid little battles Satan appears to have won along the way, in the end WE WIN!

So I am inspired and motivated, and I am girding up my loins for battle. But I am also reaching out my hands to my Father the King, expectantly and confidently waiting for Him to fill my begging hands with good and amazing things from above.

I'm going to do my best to chronicle this journey here daily. I will try as hard as I can to be as transparent as possible and let you all walk with us through this cleansing of our souls... I don't think it will be easy. I'm reminded of the vomiting that occurred the time I tried to begin my new year with a cleansing diet but the shock of caffeine withdrawal had me nauseated by the severe headache pain. I'm thinking that a spiritual cleansing might not be much more pleasant than that. However, I full, well believe that the benefits of cleansing my soul will FAR outweigh the benefits of any kind of cleansing of my physical body.

So here we go! Project soul cleansing begins when I wake up this morning. One week of eliminating spiritual junk food and increasing spiritual health food. I have made a list in my journal of "toxins" that I hope God will purge out of my soul and breakthroughs I hope He will bring. But I FULL WELL expect that at the end of this week, the list of actual toxins purged and actual breakthroughs made will far exceed my expectations and will be exceedingly more than anything I could ask for or hope for.

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