Jami's friend manifesto

Cultivate friendships which provoke you to love Jesus more/better.... Sarah Bowling

This was Sarah's FB status earlier this week.  It hit me like a slap in the face.  For over a year now I have REALLY been struggling in the area of friendships.  Truth be told it has been A LOT longer than a year.  Probably since I started coaching cheer at FHS and then on through when John and I led the youth group, I had a VERY full social life, but all of my relationships were mentoring type relationships.   I didn't really have any friends my own age or any who were at my same stage of life.  I started feeling the void left by this deficiency about two years ago.  I prayed and begged God to send me a friend or two.  I just wanted someone who was in my own generation.

What followed was a quick succession of friends who betrayed me, judged me, and believed only the worst about me.  These friendships left me battered and bruised.  In fact, JUST THIS WEEK I said to my sister, "I don't want any more friends!  Friends hurt TOO much!".

So when I first read that FB status it stung across my face leaving a red, hand imprint.  It hurt!  Because even this week my eyes have been furtively darting about searching for a safe hiding place where I could hole up and keep myself safe from these prickly, sharp-edged, pain causing things called friends.

Backed into a corner, setting up sandbags of defense I all of a sudden STOPPED as the application of that statement washed over me. I thought, "Wait a minute!  I have to BE the kind of friend who provokes her friends to love Jesus more/better."  That's all I can control!  The answer isn't holing myself away from the world becoming a friend-a-phob.  The answer is being the kind of friend who spurs people on to loving Him!

I learned long ago that the only person whose actions I can control is ME.  I can't sit around waiting for people to come to me.  I have to go out and BE the kind of friend I need.  So here it is:  my friend manifesto.  What follows is a description of the kind of friend I want to BE.

1.  Loving... I want to be the kind of friend who LOVES people.  I believe that we lead people to Jesus with love.  No one wants to be told how they don't measure up or what they don't do well enough in.  I want my friends to find love and acceptance in my presence.  I don't want to be an encyclopedia of how things should be done or how life should be lived.  I want to be like a pair of those ubber soft, warm and comfy slipper socks.  I want my friends to find softness, comfort, warmth from me... I don't care so much if they find cold hard learning here.

2.  Giving.... I want to be the kind of friend who would give the shirt off her back to help ANYONE.  I want to give lavishly of my time, attention and resources.  I want to reach out to those in need.  I want to cook meals for those who are laid up.  I want to give our hand-me-downs to bless someone.  I don't care how "down and out" I am... I never, ever, ever want to stop being generous.  I never, ever want to stop giving.  I want my friends to know if they need something and there is ANYTHING I can do, I will do it.

3.  Forgiving...  I want to be the kind of friend who forgives ANYTHING.  I want to forgive 70x7.  I want to turn the other cheek EVERY SINGLE TIME I am slapped.  I know that I am inviting pain by doing this.  I know I could avoid some of the agony by walking away from friends who continually hurt me, but I don't CARE!  I wanna forgive because I have been FORGIVEN!  I want my friends to know that our friendship is secure.  That no matter WHAT I will forgive them.

I guess as I typed this I realized that I want to be Jesus to all my friends.  I know that is a tall order, but that's okay because I am a stubborn old girl, and I will not give up on reaching that goal.  So starting today, I am going to do everything in my power to be the kind of friend I want to have.  One who provokes others to love Jesus more/better.