Here I sit in the doctor's office. The positive part of being a mom is I didn't have much time to stress about this appointment. However, now in the stillness before the doctor arrives... children safely deposited at my father's... nightmarish city traffic successfully navigated... I have to admit there's a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. Just a little niggling feeling, "What if what the doctor suspects is nothing is actually something?" Ugh! Then from another corner, "Is this gonna hurt?" And then, "Meh... Wish I didn't have anymore time to WORRY-- "
And with that thought my worries ceased. In breezed Dr. Larson with two shots of numbing juice. He returned with a copy of Brad's book (MUCH more blogging about that in the future, I PROMISE!), and then he left again for just long enough that the numbing agent could kick in (and long enough for me to start bawling over Brad's book). The actual excision of the skin lesion wasn't that laborious, although his comment, "If I had to put money on it, I'd bet this was a little bit of skin cancer," was not exactly what I wanted to hear.
Before I knew it the procedure was over, and I was on my way to pick up the kiddos with instructions to return in a week for suture removal and the pathology report. It was a relatively quick and painless experience which was, however, fraught with life lesson for me (and for those of you who choose to read my blog).
1. While busyness is often the bane of my existence, it also FREQUENTLY is a blessed distraction. I scheduled the appointment to have this "thing" removed from my back WEEKS ago, but I really had little to no time to worry about it because I have been consumed with the start of school, work busyness, and another brain surgery setback. Of course there is a time for everything and a season for everything under the Heavens... Therefore, there is DEFINITELY a time for quiet and still retrospection. However, in times when worries assail: late at night when money woes have you awake, seated in the waiting room while the doctor is with your loved one, or over the course of seven days of waiting for pathology results, busyness can be a great worry antidote.
2. I thought of God a lot through this procedure. Even though Dr. Larson numbed the area prior to dipping his scalpel into it, I still felt some discomfort even a little pain during the procedure. I thought of how God applies a numbing agent prior to doing "surgery" on our souls too. It is called the "peace that passes all understanding." I was just contemplating this phenomenon yesterday. I was thinking back on some really tough times our family has been through and wondering, "How did we get through that?" I realized that God's peace forms a protective blanket around our soul not COMPLETELY blocking out ALL pain but numbing us from most of it so we don't get overwhelmed.
3. It is what it is. I kinda had this wondering thought as I left the doctor's office. I wondered, "What if this is something bad?" Then I stopped myself and realized... it is what it is. My worrying will NOT change what it is ONE BIT. How powerful to think of that in light of all the worrying I have done over the past 41 years. It is what it is... My worrying doesn't change it one bit.. SOOOOOO why waste one minute worrying then????
So now I'm just enjoying the rest of this day off work. The sun is shining. The air has a hint of fall mixed with summer. We enjoyed some of the BEAUTIFUL Wisconsin fall landscape on the way to and from the city. Life is GOOD and so is God! I'm so grateful to be His and that He keeps me safe in His loving embrace.
Have a blessed day everyone!
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