This was Sarah's FB status earlier this week. It hit me like a slap in the face. For over a year now I have REALLY been struggling in the area of friendships. Truth be told it has been A LOT longer than a year. Probably since I started coaching cheer at FHS and then on through when John and I led the youth group, I had a VERY full social life, but all of my relationships were mentoring type relationships. I didn't really have any friends my own age or any who were at my same stage of life. I started feeling the void left by this deficiency about two years ago. I prayed and begged God to send me a friend or two. I just wanted someone who was in my own generation.
What followed was a quick succession of friends who betrayed me, judged me, and believed only the worst about me. These friendships left me battered and bruised. In fact, JUST THIS WEEK I said to my sister, "I don't want any more friends! Friends hurt TOO much!".
So when I first read that FB status it stung across my face leaving a red, hand imprint. It hurt! Because even this week my eyes have been furtively darting about searching for a safe hiding place where I could hole up and keep myself safe from these prickly, sharp-edged, pain causing things called friends.
Backed into a corner, setting up sandbags of defense I all of a sudden STOPPED as the application of that statement washed over me. I thought, "Wait a minute! I have to BE the kind of friend who provokes her friends to love Jesus more/better." That's all I can control! The answer isn't holing myself away from the world becoming a friend-a-phob. The answer is being the kind of friend who spurs people on to loving Him!
I learned long ago that the only person whose actions I can control is ME. I can't sit around waiting for people to come to me. I have to go out and BE the kind of friend I need. So here it is: my friend manifesto. What follows is a description of the kind of friend I want to BE.
1. Loving... I want to be the kind of friend who LOVES people. I believe that we lead people to Jesus with love. No one wants to be told how they don't measure up or what they don't do well enough in. I want my friends to find love and acceptance in my presence. I don't want to be an encyclopedia of how things should be done or how life should be lived. I want to be like a pair of those ubber soft, warm and comfy slipper socks. I want my friends to find softness, comfort, warmth from me... I don't care so much if they find cold hard learning here.
2. Giving.... I want to be the kind of friend who would give the shirt off her back to help ANYONE. I want to give lavishly of my time, attention and resources. I want to reach out to those in need. I want to cook meals for those who are laid up. I want to give our hand-me-downs to bless someone. I don't care how "down and out" I am... I never, ever, ever want to stop being generous. I never, ever want to stop giving. I want my friends to know if they need something and there is ANYTHING I can do, I will do it.
3. Forgiving... I want to be the kind of friend who forgives ANYTHING. I want to forgive 70x7. I want to turn the other cheek EVERY SINGLE TIME I am slapped. I know that I am inviting pain by doing this. I know I could avoid some of the agony by walking away from friends who continually hurt me, but I don't CARE! I wanna forgive because I have been FORGIVEN! I want my friends to know that our friendship is secure. That no matter WHAT I will forgive them.
I guess as I typed this I realized that I want to be Jesus to all my friends. I know that is a tall order, but that's okay because I am a stubborn old girl, and I will not give up on reaching that goal. So starting today, I am going to do everything in my power to be the kind of friend I want to have. One who provokes others to love Jesus more/better.
