Grace and cotton balls....

Romans 5:1-4
Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us.

We stand in GRACE!
     not condemnation -- which we deserve;
     not hopelessness  -- which is what we have earned;
     not FEAR -- which is what is rightfully ours;
WE STAND IN GRACE.

I try hard to teach my kiddos what GRACE is because it is sometimes hard to grasp the FULLNESS of it. When they screw up [for example, like when Hannah scattered by brand-new cotton balls all over the bathroom negating them of their sterile condition], I say to them, "Did you ________________ (insert offense here, for example: throw all of Momma's cotton balls all over the ground)?"  [furtive nod.... rarely do words come in these times]

"Did you know it was wrong to do that?" [another little nod]

 "Do you deserve to be disciplined?" [one more nod... even smaller... because admitting to this part is even harder] 

And every once in a while, when they have done something wrong, typically when it is something BIG (not something donkey like cotton balls) and only when I can see they are contrite about their sin, I say to them, "You did  ________________ (insert offense here, for example: throw all of Momma's cotton balls all over the ground) and you do deserve to be disciplined, but instead I am going to give you GRACE, just like Jesus gives us."

The other day I was in a rush. I just didn't have time for the discipline part. I just zipped through a scolding and didn't take time to dole out the consequence. (I wasn't trying to teach about GRACE. I was just trying to get back to working.) I heard Noah say to Hannah as she walked away from my lecture, "See that's GRACE Hannah."  So apparently it is sinking in for my babies. Has it sunk in for you?

Ask yourself?  Have I done something wrong?

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.
Romans 3:23

We ALL have done something wrong.

Did I know it was wrong?

c'mon... be HONEST!  you knew it was wrong to lose your temper like that!  you knew it was wrong to talk about that person in that manner! you knew God didn't WANT you to ______________ (fill in the blank with cheat, steal, lie, betray).

Do I deserve discipline for my sin?

For the wages of sin is death.
Romans 6:23

We ALL deserve death.

Now STOP! and let this wash over you....  GRACE.... Instead of what we rightfully deserve, God gives us GRACE.

But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans 5:8

Today for just a little bit, focus on the GRACE of God. You did it. You deserve the punishment. But He gives you GRACE instead, and we stand in GRACE. Isn't that beautiful?

Part 2...

I am literally starting to wonder if my SOLE purpose for existing is so people can look at me and think, "PHEW! Am I glad I don't have HER life!"

So I was cruising along, basking in the warmth of the glow from the good report my mom got after her heart cath this morning. Since Gma was staying with me while dad stayed at the hospital with mom, I had called in and told my work I wouldn't be very available. I was concentrating on ONLY having to homeschool (and care for two old ladies). We were SO far ahead of schedule!  The kids were doing GREAT!  Gma was folding laundry with wild abandon.  I didn't even notice Auntie Marge slip away from the kitchen table. All of a sudden I heard a THUD!  I jumped up to investigate and as I walked down the hallway I could see Auntie Marge's head sticking out of her doorway.  She was lying on the ground.  I took ONE look at her and I KNEW something was wrong with her right leg. It was just at an odd angle AND it was completely lame. She couldn't move her foot AT ALL.

This day has SO many more twists and turns that I will skip all the details of how I got her into the chair, arranged an adult to supervise the boys staying home with Gma, notified my parents and John, cancelled the rest of our school day, etc... I had to CARRY her to the car because she could not use that leg AT ALL.  She is VERY light; however, she was dead weight, and she kept slipping out of my arms.  At one point, I almost passed out.

I kept thinking this CANNOT be happening!  This canNOT be happening!  They discharged my mom from Waukesha Memorial at about noon, and she and dad headed straight for Hartford Hospital to check on Auntie Marge. Really???  Two ER visits in two days???  What kinda crazy family does that???  We do apparently.

Soooooooo Auntie Marge is having surgery to repair her broken hip/femur tomorrow at 1 p.m. (PLEASE pray for her.  She is VERY scared as she has never had a surgery before.... 89 years she made it without ever having surgery!) But now we get to the part where I was finally reduced to tears.

John met us in Hartford after work, and we ate at Culver's.  Then he took two kiddos home, and I took two to do the Walmart shopping. We finished our shopping without a hitch (I had my mode of payment with me this time) and got in the car.  We turned right onto Hwy 60 from the Walmart parking lot.  We traveled.. idk... about 100 feet??? and reached the place where the streetlights stop, and I was INSTANTLY and COMPLETELY disoriented.  I couldn't see the road AT ALL.  I had NO headlights!  Panic mode kicked in, and I held back my tears.  I called John, and we problem solved.  We decided (with hazards on) I would return to Walmart (they have an automotive shop) and see if they could help me.  I will NOT lie. Last summer's almost unsolvable taillight issue was haunting my soul, and at that point the tears were JUST under the surface.

I got to Walmart and started incoherently babbling to the automotive guy. He walked into the shop and voila! I had lights.  I was like "WHAT???"  He reported, "You have brights (I didn't think of that)... which means it isn't electrical. I'm guessing your low beam bulbs just burned out."  Apparently I am just SO lucky that BOTH bulbs burnt out at the SAME time.  WHATEVER!  that was it... I holed up in the waiting room and let the tears start....  Whose life is LIKE this????  I tell you I couldn't MAKE this stuff up!  Fact TRULY is stranger than fiction!

Have you seen Evan Almighty???  God (Morgan Freeman) tells Evan that everything He does, He does because He loves Evan.  At one point, Evan's family has walked out on him.  The whole city thinks he's nuts (he is building a boat in his subdivision just like Noah built the ark)... Evan says, "I know, I know, everything You do You do because You love me."  His lawn sprinkler comes on timer and squirts him in the face, and he SCREAMS, "Could you love me a little less!?!?!?"  Let's just say right now I can relate to that scene.

But I gotta bring it around to something inspirational... and really and truly the tears were just tears of exhaustion... I'm not despondent over here.   I'm just DEPLETED.  Here's the verse I'm clinging to:

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.
Romans 8:28

Tune in tomorrow for another episode of Calamity Jami  Will she plummet off a cliff? Be struck by a rogue wind turbine? Or just lose her pants in the middle of the hospital waiting room? Only God knows and only time will tell.

Peace out my faithful readers.  And don't forget to say, "PHEW! Am I glad I don't have HER life!"

Romans 14....

I have read Romans 14 twice in the past two days... It keeps sticking in my craw and calling me back to my earlier musings about honesty.

Read these excerpts....

v1 Accept him whose faith is weak, without passing judgment on disputable matters.

v4 Who are you to judge someone else's servant? To his own master he stands or falls. And he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand.

v13 Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way.

v15If your brother is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love. Do not by your eating destroy your brother for whom Christ died.

v17 For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit,

v19 Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification.

v22 So whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God.

It got me thinking about how we as Christians (heck! we as human beings!) get so caught up on arguing about who's right: should we baptize babies or adults, is it okay for Christians to consume alcohol, speaking in tongues, clapping during worship, KJV, NIV, yada yada yada!

Guess what? Here's my assertion: NONE of that matters! None of it! Every single one of those things falls under PERSONAL! Between each individual and his/her God. The only thing we as Christians should be asserting... The only thing we should be debating is the supremacy of the gospel. But we preach Christ crucified.... (I Cor 1:23) That is ALL that matters! That is what is important! Making sure everyone we love, everyone we know, everyone we come into contact with knows this one thing: they are a sinner without hope except for this CHRIST DIED FOR THEIR SINS. That is all that matters. That is what is important.

In a sermon, I heard Aaron Cole say that it is his responsibility to tell us how to get saved, and it is the Holy Spirit's responsibility to tell us how to change our lives. What a much better place this world would be if we ALL took on that attitude! "It is my job to tell people how to get saved. I will leave the life changing up to the Holy Spirit."

This was one of the hardest lessons I had to learn as a new bride. (In fact, truth be told, I am still learning it now... as an old bride.) I am NOT John's Holy Spirit. It is NOT my job to tell him what God wants for his life. "But Jami!" you say. "Of course God wants my husband to go to church every Sunday!" Yes, He likely does, but do you really and truly think that God needs YOU to impress that point upon your husband??? "But Jami!" you say. "My sister lets my niece's boyfriend sleepover and she is just fifteen! That is SO dangerous!" Probably. But AGAIN are you SURE that YOU are the voice God wants to use to convey that message. "BUT JAMI!" you say. "Doesn't the Bible tell us, Whoever turns a sinner from the error of his way swill save him from death and cover over a multitude of sins (James 5:20)?" Yes but AGAIN I caution you.... are you SURE that God is telling YOU to turn that sinner from the error of his way or do you just WANT to turn that sinner from the error of his way?

Again, I refer back to Romans 14:

v22 So whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God.

God does NOT need you to be the Holy Spirit, and I believe that 9 times out of 10, God does not use direct confrontation to save a sinner from the error of his ways... instead more often then not, I see God coming in as a gentle wind.... convicting a sinner by his/her observations or by a verse from the Word or a lyric from a song. It has been my experience that typically, little to no progress is gained from a trying to turn a sinner from the error of his ways with direct confrontation. Typically, from my observation, what happens is that "sinner" only gets defensive, stubbornly digging in his heels and refusing to budge. Therefore, I try so hard to put into practice this instruction (not just with regards to my interactions with my husband but with ALL)... so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, I Peter 3:1 (emphasis mine).

Now please do not mistake me. I am not saying that there is NEVER a time for confrontation or for debating. But here is what I am saying.... I think people are way too quick to judge, confront, debate trivial things, and I think that Satan LOVES that about us. He gets us distracted debating doctrine. He gets us tied up in arguing whose beliefs are correct. He gets us bogged down by petty issues. So that we have NO time for doing the ONLY thing we are called to do: share the gospel.

Mkay... I guess I'm done with today's musings... I need to get back to work (and back to nursing my ailing hubby)... In closing, I would like to point out that I am by NO WAY an expert on this issue. I struggle EVERY day to keep my mouth shut about things that are not my business. This whole blog was a bit of a reminder to ME about what I should be doing.

In some of my favorite words from one of my favorite guys:

"I'm just one beggar showing another beggar where there's food." Shane Houle.

Shame is NOT God's game....

We've been down to the bottom, stories we've got em

When we hit rock bottom

If you been there put your hands in the air

So let the lost know that someone cares

Superchick

I've been thinking a lot about shame lately. In that Karen Kingsbury book I finished last week the main character was overwhelmed by the shame of a ten-year old sin. She even fretted God would punish someone if she prayed for them, because her sin was so grievous.

You know what? We've all got sin. None of us is exempt. We all have something we wish NO ONE knew, and we fear EVERYONE will find out. And trust me... God is not put off by our ickiness... "While we were still sinners...." (Romans 5:8) That's when Christ died for us!

Shame is just such a silly waste of time! God doesn't want your shame or guilt. He wants you to be convicted. He wants you to turn away from your sin. But wallowing in shame.... That's the devil's game... Not God's.

If you have a sin in your past (or even in your present) don't waste time on the shame game! Confess it! Turn away from it! And start your journey away from it. That's God's game.

People get ready....

[Just as an aside: Satan did NOT want me to post this blog this morning. The second it started forming in my brain: Hannah woke up early, the cat tried to attack our breakfast, got locked out of my office, the cat messed up my Internet settings by walking over my keyboard, the cat clawed me trying to get away from Hannah, Hannah stepped on the power cord switch shutting off my computer, Internet went down... PHEW! This must be a good one, and someone MUST need to hear it. So get ready!]

People get ready
Jesus is coming soon we'll be going home
People get ready
Jesus is coming to take from this world His own.

My children are so "other-worldly" minded it sometimes scares me. Whenever we see a triangle-shaped object, Noah will say, "Look mom! Father, Son, Holy Spirit!" When we see anything in the shape of a cross, they will shout, "A cross! Just like Jesus died on!" And when we see the sunlight streaming through a break in the dark, cloudy sky, they will say, "Hey mom, doesn't it look like Jesus is coming back?" That's what I want to say to all of you today. "Hey blog readers, doesn't it look like Jesus is coming back?"

Lord I'm ready now.
I'm waiting for your triumphant return. (You're coming so soon.)
This world has nothing for me,
I find my peace and joy solely in You. (Only in you.)

I awoke this morning and found the news of a second earthquake hitting the already devastated island of Haiti. Last night I read about an earthquake hitting the Cayman Islands. For the second time in just a week, I had this weird sense of, "This is the book of Revelation occurring in front of my eyes." Now please do not get me wrong, I am NOT a doomsdayer or rapture junkie. I did not lose my mind during Y2K, and I have no trepidation about 2012. However, I wonder does anyone else see an eerie resemblance to book of Revelation here? It's not just the abundance of earthquakes right now... it's the evil all around me that calls my mind to the final book of the Bible. Yet these earthquakes really get me thinking.... "He's coming soon!"

There's a day that comes
When we will be divided right and left.
(For those who know Him and those that do not know.)
And those who know Him well, will meet Him in the air.
Hallelujah! (God is within us.)
And those that do not know, they will hear, "Depart. I knew you not."
For my friends you see,
There will be a day when we'll be counted.
So know Him well, know Him well.


Are you ready? That's what I want this blog to lead you to today. Are you ready? Getting ready is SO simple. A child can do it. In fact, all of my children have done it. Really just a few things to do:

1. Realize that you are a sinner deserving of nothing but death. For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23) How far back in your personal history do you have to go to admit this is true? You are a sinner. Me, I don't have to go very far at all. Just a short little jaunt back to that above-mentioned list of roadblocks Satan put in my way this morning, and WOOPS! Halt right there! Jami sinned. She lost her temper and was NOT godly in meeting those challenges. I don't know exactly how far you have to go, but I do know this: you have sinned. At some point in your life whether you are fifteen or fifty years old, you have sinned. Just like the Bible says, ALL have sinned... I also know that the punishment for sin is death. For the wages of sin is death... (Romans 6:23a).

2. Next you have to see that Christ made a way for you. See God knew the punishment for sin was death, but when sin entered the world, He saw that He could not STAND the thought of eternity without His precious, beloved children. So He made a way for us. For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. (John 3:16) When Christ died on the cross, He died for your sins to pay the price required for sin so that you could be forgiven and so you could spend eternity in Heaven.

3. You have to ACCEPT the gift! It's yours already. It's sitting there on your shelf, in your dresser, in that corner of your closet. It's like the treadmill in your basement that can help you drop those unwanted pounds or the Ab Rocker you have that can give you a 6-pack. You possess this gift, but you have to take the next step with the gift and ACCEPT it. That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. (Romans 10:9)

People get ready,
Jesus is coming soon we'll be going home.
People get ready,
Jesus is coming to take from the world His own.

If your one of His already, rejoice along with me! Soon & very soon we are going to see the King! If you are not, STOP right this second. Don't waste one more breath. Get ready! He's coming whether you're ready or not. So why not just BE READY!

Love to all of you! Praying for your hurts and pain. Praying for the devastation in Haiti. But most of all PRAYING that these things get your attention and help you GET READY! Because He IS coming SOON!

The hole in my heart....

When people come into our lives and then leave, it leaves a hole in our heart. Funny thing is we can try and try and try to fill that hole with someone or something else, but it rarely works. No two people are alike; therefore, no two holes left in our heart are alike either.

Recently I lost a friend. Attempts at reconciliation have failed and currently we are estranged. While I believe that God always wants reconciliation (in a friendship, in a marriage, in a church), I realize that because we are flawed humans, reconciliation is not always possible. Sin, pride, misperception, unforgiveness can all get in the way and rob us of the perfect plan that God has for us. Then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose… Philippians 2:2 Ever the optimist I have left myself open to “Maybe…. Someday….” in this friendship. However, the tiny little realist shoved away in the corner of my heart keeps trying to be heard, “Not this time Jami.”

Therefore, I mourn. Like a teenage girl replaying every text, note and call from her “ex BF”, I mope about the good times. My heart catches every time I touch the coffee cup that was a gift from this friend. My brain replays the situation over and over looking for how to fix it… how to find reconciliation.

Lately my torture has heated up to a boil. I am sure part of that is because Satan wants to torture me. He wants me feeling blue. He wants me missing and longing and lonely. He wants me caught up in YUCK so that I will be less effective for the kingdom of God. I think some of it is also because God wants to get my attention. He wants to call my eyes to different parts of this relationship. He wants me to see what went wrong and why it went wrong, and He wants me to learn from my mistakes. I guess what I can’t get past is just the estrangement. I am really not a person who has many enemies (that I know of). For me friendships wane and wax due to proximity or availability, but very seldom do they end abruptly and severely. In fact including this situation, I can only think of one other time that I have been estranged from a friend and just kinda agreed to let it lie and not be friends anymore. And even that situation, with time, resolved itself. The friendship was never the same, but we returned to being sisters in Christ and having an amicable relationship. I guess maybe it is just the fact that I don’t do “break-ups” well because I haven’t been through many of them. But my soul just has this longing…. This hole I can’t seem to fill….

I think this is what God is trying to tell me. It may not be the exact lesson God has for you in your unresolved relationship, BUT it is not sin and it is probably a good idea to give it a try because it can’t hurt.

1. Pray for my friend. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints. Ephesians 6:18 This verse doesn’t say pray for the saints who you’re in relationship with or pray for the saints who you are getting along with or even pray for the saints who want you to pray for them. It says, “praying for ALL the saints.” (emphasis mine and wishing I could make that PERIOD huge and more emphatic)

2. Walk away…. Again while I FULLY believe that God always WANTS us to reconcile… to make a friendship work…. to stay married…. to keep a church together… this is not always possible. There are times in life where we do have to separate. Abram and Lot had to separate. Their reason may not be the same as mine (or yours), but their example remains. Maybe to tell us, there are definitely times in life where we must go our separate ways. There are times in life when we must just walk away.

3. Never give up hope… I do not think it is wrong for me to hope that at some point in the future God will bring reconciliation about in this relationship. Love always protects, always trust, always hopes, always perseveres. I Corinthians 13:7 There is nothing wrong with hanging onto hope. For that is what love does.

4. Let Him fill the hole left by my friend… When all else has failed… When I have tried everything I, in my human power, can do… I need to just let go of it and let God come in and “caulk” the tiny places where the hole hasn’t been completely filled.

So here I am today. Trying hard to prayerfully walk down this path minus one friend but never, ever letting go of the hope that someday in the future God’s will for ALL relationships, perfect unity, will be made complete in this one too.

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone… Romans 12:18

Sinners

You know which characters I love the most in the Bible? The sinners. Yes I know we are all sinners, but I love the BIG sinners. Those who sinned big, yet God still used them BIG. You know why I love them? Because I can relate to them. I am such a wretched, sinful creature. I so strongly relate to this verse from Romans:

For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do - this I keep on doing.
Romans 7:19

I love the Bible characters who sin BIG and are still used of God because I can relate to them and they give me hope. My all-time favorite Bible character is David. David was called by God "a man after my own heart" (Acts 13:22). Yet David was SINFUL! He was the personification of sinful. His picture is next to the word in the dictionary! Not only did he look lustfully on Bathsheba (another man's wife), but he committed adultery with her, and THEN he took it to another level and MURDERED her husband so he could have her. Now THAT is sinful! Yet later on in the New Testament when David is mentioned what do we hear about? Does God count his many sins? Does he site the evil things he did? NO! He says, "I have found David son of Jesse a man after my own heart; he will do everything I want him to do." WOW!

Today I was reading in Luke and another similar situation struck me. In Luke 22 Jesus is predicting Peter's denial of Him. He said,

Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.
Luke 22:31-32

Jesus did not pray that Peter would not deny him or that Peter would not sin. Jesus prayed "that your faith may not fail." He prayed that through the sin and failure Peter's faith would not fail. God knows us. He made us! He realizes that we are weak and frail humans capable of nothing but filthy rags of righteousness without Him. Jesus prayed that after the sin Peter would still keep the faith.

"And when you have turned back..." Jesus then assumes that Peter will (after failing Him) turn back to his faith. And here, HERE is my favorite part!!!! He commands Peter, "strengthen your brothers." This ministers to me on so many different levels!

I am a perfectionist at heart. Being the firstborn, it is hard for me to slay my perfectionist tendencies. Therefore, when I sin, when I mar up something (that in my mind should be perfect), my first gut reaction is to toss out the whole thing. If it can't be perfect, than it is worthless is my incorrect assumption. However, here Jesus is commanding Peter after he turns back to go on and minister to the others. Obviously in Jesus' eyes Peter's sin wouldn't make him worthless. In Jesus' eyes Peter's sin would not exempt him from all future ministry.

I can actually take this further to a whole different level. When I read that part of this verse this morning, I felt the Holy Spirit whispering to me: Not only did Peter's sin not remove him from service for Christ, but it actually prepared him for future service.... ALL things... ALL THINGS can be used for good! One of my FAVORITE sayings is, "What Satan meant for our destruction, God will use for our VICTORY." I believe God specializes in taking the icky, the sinful, the mistakes and using them for His glory. Therefore, Peter's sin actually better prepared him for ministry. His sin actually made him MORE qualified to minister, because it made him better able to relate to the sinners around him.

So there it is. My dissertation on why sinners are my FAVORITE people. Because I can relate to them.... Because they give me hope.... Because I am the chief of them....

Have a great day!

Thank you Jesus for this truck [car] (part 3)

It has been a long week full of ups and downs for the Kastners. On Monday, I used my grocery money to pay the tax/title/license fees on the new truck. On Tuesday said truck died. We fought hard all week to cling to our hope and not get discouraged.

At one point, John said to me, “Babe, God came to Satan and said, ‘See John & Jami. See how they are praising me for that little piece of junk truck.’ Satan said, ‘Sure they are praising you for that truck. You gave them what they wanted. See what they do if you let me take that truck away.’” Well, as discouraged, confused and even angry as we were, we REFUSED to stop praising Him this week. We were NOT about to give Satan even a tiny victory.

The news of a miracle coming our way came right away Tuesday night. We started praying but did not want to broadcast it until it came to pass. Last night it came to fruition. Our Pastor and his wife have been looking for a new vehicle. On Tuesday they both came to the same conclusion at the same moment, God wanted them to give their old vehicle to us. The fact that they both had the idea at the same time was confirmation enough for them, but the fact that the vehicle had been given to them many years earlier when they were in need just sweetened the deal. They felt it was the legacy of this car to be given again to a family in need.

Last night when we went to pick up their old Buick LeSabre, they apologized over and over for the car. “It doesn’t have any automatic locks or windows. There are some scratches and the paint is peeling. We just hope it will last you for awhile.” I was thinking, “Are these beautiful, generous people seriously apologizing to us for the condition of the FREE car they are giving us?”

So it seems in 7 days God has taken us full circle: answered our prayers with a truck which was taken away only to receive a completely free secondary form of transportation. During that seven day cycle, I have learned A LOT. So here goes.

1. …if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously…. Romans 12:8

My Pastor is a very eloquent man. God speaks through Him on a regular basis and in mighty ways. Yet some of the lessons I have learned the best from him have been through watching him model what the Bible says. This was one of those times. I watched he and his wife live out this verse in real life, and I took notes. I vowed that no matter how desperate our situation gives, we will keep on contributing to the needs of others. We will keep on giving generously of our time, of our love, of our home, of our food. No matter WHAT the Kastners will follow this example and strive to continue to live out this verse.

2. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55:9

Throughout the past few days, I have over and over again had to come to grips with the fact that we may never “know why.” We prayed and prayed and prayed about the decision to get this specific truck. We did homework. We test drove. We were as careful as you can be when you are looking to buy a piece of junk. Yet still the truck died just four days after we got it. We may never be able to answer the question of why on this one. We just have to trust that whether we find out why or not, we KNOW that His ways are best.

3. Now I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel. Philippians 1:12

On Tuesday after I blogged about the truck dying, I received an e-mail from a friend. She had received a letter telling her she was being offered the job she wanted. The next day she received notice that she was supposed to have received a rejection letter but the wrong letter was sent to her. She said my blog inspired her to not to give up. If she is the only person who was encouraged through our suffering, it is worthwhile. If others are pointed towards Jesus, given the hope to go one, encouraged to greater heights of faith, that makes what we are going through worth it.

So here I am at the close of a topsy turvy week. I am praising God for his miraculous provision. I am so grateful for the generosity of His people. But let me end this blog like I ended the last. Don’t you dare think for one second that I am any more safe and secure in my Father’s arms today than I was four days ago. This has been a difficult week, but through it all I have rested safe and secure in my Father’s arms.

This week has reminded me a lot of one of my favorite songs, Blessed be Your Name. This week I have FELT this chorus DEEPLY: You give and take away. You give and take away. And through the whole entire thing, I can very honestly tell you that I did follow through with the end of the chorus: My heart will CHOOSE to say. Lord blessed be Your name. So now this Saturday I say: Thank you Jesus for this little old Buick LeSabre and the legacy of generosity it represents.