The valley of the shadow of death....

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. (Psalm 23:4)

I know a thing or two about valleys. I've traveled through my share (and maybe a few other people's share too...) Therefore, I feel qualified to tell you a few things I have learned about journeying through a valley... a sort of JLK TripTik to help you navigate your way.

He is with you. The first stop along our way is the no-brainer. It is right there in the verse I opened with, "for you are with me...." God is with you. Even though it feels as if you've been abandoned, even though you cannot always see Him there, He is WITH you! Right there in the valley, right there as you're saying goodbye to a loved one, right there as the bank is foreclosing upon your house, right there as the judge signs the papers on your divorce, HE IS WITH YOU. Whatever you do, do NOT let the enemy convince you this is not true. In order to make it to the other side of this deep canyon, you HAVE to hold tight to this truth: HE IS WITH YOU!

Stand.... or fall down too, but do not give up! When you are walking through a deep, dark valley, feeling discouraged is understandable. When your life is falling apart, you will feel despair. When your dreams are lying in a pile of rubble at your feet, your broken heart will ache. But no matter what you do, do not give up. "....and after you have done everything, to stand." (Ephesians 6:13b)... Sometimes standing is all you can do. Sometimes it is good enough to just NOT fall down, Sometimes you even fall down, and it is good enough to just get back up. To say to God, "My heart is in ruins but I will stand." ...like Brooke Taylor in Facing the Giants.... broken hearted facing her bareness and crying out, "I will still love you, Lord!" Just don't give up! It's okay to stand still. It's okay not to move. But do NOT give up!

This too shall pass... No matter how endless the valley you are traveling feels, there IS an end to it. There will come a day when you will look back on the valley. There WILL! For those of you who are in the valley RIGHT NOW, you will find my next words hard to believe, but someday you may even long wistfully for the valley. Just this past weekend I was longing wistfully for a few of the darkest times in my life:

***The year when I was pregnant with Hannah through her birth, we were walking through a valley of the shadow of financial destitution that was pretty much unmatched by ANYTHING else we had ever faced. I remember how terrified I was. I remember the power was shut off that summer. But this past weekend, I looked back and remembered how it was in the middle of that valley that God blessed me with this beautiful baby girl who is so much more than I could have ever hoped or asked for. We were involved in the birthing of a church that year, and we were integral in the support system of that church, and we BELONGED. I also remember that year we were coaching a cheer squad that was more family than team. As I look back on that valley, what I notice most are the flowers scattered along the way.

***Last fall our valley was having a portion of John's skull removed in brain surgery and living with none of his income for a few months. I remember the exhaustion of those long, labor-intensive days. I remember the fear of ending up homeless because we could not pay the bills. I remember fighting back the worry that I would be widowed well before I got to be that cute elderly couple holding hands at the grocery store. But this past weekend, I looked back and remembered the AMAZING blessing of being together as a family (all six of us... and just the six of us) for nearly two months. We were cared for by the body of Christ in a way that BLEW MY MIND. We learned more lessons about God and about each other than I can even catalog. As I look back on that valley, what I notice most are the flowers scattered along the way.

So please believe me.... no matter how science-fiction like it sounds... there WILL come a day when you too will look back on this valley and see the flowers scattered along the way.

I wish that none of us had to face valleys. What a pleasant trip this would be if it were a skip down a rose-lined path on a sunny day! However, that's not what I have found from scripture: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me." (Luke 9:23) The description Jesus gives of following Him includes crosses... not roses. It is also not what I have found in life. People die. Finances go south. Hearts get broken. But these things I know about traveling through a valley:

He is with you.

Stand...

This too shall pass.

If you are in a valley right now, I pray this has ministered to you. If you are not in a valley right now, maybe you want to bookmark this page, because eventually you will be. The valleys in life are inevitable... I just hope this little TripTik will help you a little in yours.

Pastor Aaron for President????

Wowzer! Aaron Cole you KNOCKED my socks off yesterday! I seriously do not think I have heard Pastor Aaron preach ONE sermon that has not socked me right in the gut. But yesterday was REALLY good. I loved it! It challenged me. It affirmed me. It was AMAZING!

His new series is Prisoner's Blog. It is a series on Colossians. Before I get into the spiritual ramifications of this sermon, let me just address the aesthetics. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the current"ness" of Lifechurch. They continually use media, lighting, and atmosphere to create a contemporary environment that just SPEAKS to me! I love the creativity of this series title. I love the use of audio visual presentations to introduce it. But strip that all away... were it just Aaron Cole standing in his grubbies in the middle of an empty warehouse with wooden crates for seats, yesterday's sermon STILL would have rocked my world!

Lord Jesus Christ - I always find it funny that I have been a Christian since I was 10 years old and have been ACTIVELY pursuing a relationship with God at least all of my adult life, and yet STILL portions of scripture or Biblical concepts can rock my world like I've never heard them. It happened last week when I was working on AWANA lessons with the kids. We read the story of the rich man and Lazarus in Luke 16:19-31, and I thought, "I SERIOUSLY do not EVER remember hearing this story!" I mean I have read through the entire Bible cover-to-cover at least once and the New Testament SEVERAL times and this story JUMPED at me like I had never heard it before. When Pastor Aaron explained the significance of the usage of the name Lord Jesus Christ all together, it did the same thing. He said that when Paul used all three terms together it wasn't random. It wasn't just what he felt like calling Jesus at that moment. When Paul refers to Jesus as the "Lord Jesus Christ," he is doing so deliberately to call attention to Jesus being Lord (the only way), Jesus (humanity), and Christ (divinity). Wow! Paul was preaching a sermon in just three little words! Amazing!

Power in the name of Jesus - There is POWER in His name. I learned that VERY intimately this summer. I battled some pretty tough attacks from Satan, and the ONLY way I got any victory was through over and over and over again calling the name of Jesus. His name is the only one that saves. His name is the only one that defeats Satan. His name is the ONLY one. When we pray "in Jesus' name," we are praying something powerful. When we use the name of Jesus in ANY way, there is POWER!

LOVE will change the world - LOVE! Not judgment. LOVE! Not lectures. LOVE! Not picketing. This part of the sermon really, really, really ministered to me. I loved how Pastor Aaron went on about how loving someone is NOT condoning their actions. There is NO WAY we are EVER going to shame someone into the kingdom. Oh and one more thing... the Bible doesn't say God is shame... it says God is LOVE.

That's between you and the Lord - It's our job as Christians to lead people to the Lord. It is the Holy Spirit's job to bring conviction about sin in their lives. I guess I just don't get why so often we (Christians) think it is our job to tell other people how they should live their lives. I wrote it down and underlined it twice when Pastor Aaron said, "That's between you and the Lord." We have two things to worry about: 1. spreading the gospel and 2. getting the plank out of our eye. We don't have to worry about the speck in someone else's eye.

Again I've yet to find a sermon Pastor Aaron has preached that wasn't earth shattering for me. I cry almost EVERY time I hear him preach. I would be hard pressed to order his sermons from best to least best because they are all SO good, but this one is at the top of the list right now simply because it is freshest in my mind. And maybe Pastor Aaron for President is taking it a little far, but I will tell you this... That man was PREACHING yesterday!

Sinners

You know which characters I love the most in the Bible? The sinners. Yes I know we are all sinners, but I love the BIG sinners. Those who sinned big, yet God still used them BIG. You know why I love them? Because I can relate to them. I am such a wretched, sinful creature. I so strongly relate to this verse from Romans:

For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do - this I keep on doing.
Romans 7:19

I love the Bible characters who sin BIG and are still used of God because I can relate to them and they give me hope. My all-time favorite Bible character is David. David was called by God "a man after my own heart" (Acts 13:22). Yet David was SINFUL! He was the personification of sinful. His picture is next to the word in the dictionary! Not only did he look lustfully on Bathsheba (another man's wife), but he committed adultery with her, and THEN he took it to another level and MURDERED her husband so he could have her. Now THAT is sinful! Yet later on in the New Testament when David is mentioned what do we hear about? Does God count his many sins? Does he site the evil things he did? NO! He says, "I have found David son of Jesse a man after my own heart; he will do everything I want him to do." WOW!

Today I was reading in Luke and another similar situation struck me. In Luke 22 Jesus is predicting Peter's denial of Him. He said,

Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.
Luke 22:31-32

Jesus did not pray that Peter would not deny him or that Peter would not sin. Jesus prayed "that your faith may not fail." He prayed that through the sin and failure Peter's faith would not fail. God knows us. He made us! He realizes that we are weak and frail humans capable of nothing but filthy rags of righteousness without Him. Jesus prayed that after the sin Peter would still keep the faith.

"And when you have turned back..." Jesus then assumes that Peter will (after failing Him) turn back to his faith. And here, HERE is my favorite part!!!! He commands Peter, "strengthen your brothers." This ministers to me on so many different levels!

I am a perfectionist at heart. Being the firstborn, it is hard for me to slay my perfectionist tendencies. Therefore, when I sin, when I mar up something (that in my mind should be perfect), my first gut reaction is to toss out the whole thing. If it can't be perfect, than it is worthless is my incorrect assumption. However, here Jesus is commanding Peter after he turns back to go on and minister to the others. Obviously in Jesus' eyes Peter's sin wouldn't make him worthless. In Jesus' eyes Peter's sin would not exempt him from all future ministry.

I can actually take this further to a whole different level. When I read that part of this verse this morning, I felt the Holy Spirit whispering to me: Not only did Peter's sin not remove him from service for Christ, but it actually prepared him for future service.... ALL things... ALL THINGS can be used for good! One of my FAVORITE sayings is, "What Satan meant for our destruction, God will use for our VICTORY." I believe God specializes in taking the icky, the sinful, the mistakes and using them for His glory. Therefore, Peter's sin actually better prepared him for ministry. His sin actually made him MORE qualified to minister, because it made him better able to relate to the sinners around him.

So there it is. My dissertation on why sinners are my FAVORITE people. Because I can relate to them.... Because they give me hope.... Because I am the chief of them....

Have a great day!

Update on John

Out of respect for John’s privacy, this e-mail may leave some of you with unanswered questions. I will provide as many details as he is comfortable with and ask that you simply hold us TIGHT in your prayers.

The end of last week was a whirlwind of emotion….I frequently found myself thinking, “Seriously God? Seriously?” As if we have not been on enough of an emotional roller coaster laterly, throw in a little stroke and brain abnormality for good measure.

Here’s what I can tell you:

On Thursday, John had a TIA (Transiet Ischemic Attack) or a mini-stroke. We went to the Urgent Care and they called 911 and sent him to the ER in an ambulance. He spent the night and most of Friday admitted to Hartford Hospital and was release late Friday evening. He is doing better this weekend; however, there is obviously something going on in his body. He still has some obvious right side weakness, a persistent (and often excruciating) headache, and a few other troubling symptoms/side effects. Today at Wal-mart he fell to the ground because his leg simply gave out. The doctor has him on an aspirin regimen and high blood pressure medication. He explained to John that he is not sure if the stroke-like symptoms caused him to have ridiculously high blood pressure on Thursday or if the ridiculously high blood pressure caused the stroke-like symptoms. Regardless for the time being, lowering his blood pressure is a very good line of defense.

The MRI of John’s brain revealed an abnormality (we FULL WELL realize what an open door for wisecracks this statement is ). The doctor told us quite frankly, he has no idea what (if anything) this abnormality indicates. It is beyond his medical expertise. This is why John is going to see a neurosurgeon on Thursday.

Prayer, prayer, prayer, prayer… please COVER us in your prayers…
1. Please pray that the side effects of the medications along with the after-effects of the TIA (mini stroke) will subside and John’s strength and balance will return and his pain will subside.
2. I am doing the delicate dance of trying very hard to make a VERY independent man take it easy and rest in the face of how useless and restless these symptoms/side effects make him feel. After one day John is pretty much to the end of his patience with being ill; therefore, he is not interested in being restricted or giving in to my requests that he rest. Please pray that he will bend his will to reason and take it easy.
3. Please pray that he will continue to be upfront with me regarding the difficulties he is experiencing and that I will have the discernment to know which symptoms require a call/visit to the hospital.

I will admit to all of you that I am VERY scared about the recent turn of events in our lives. I pray every minute that the neurosurgeon will tell us this abnormality is nothing to worry about, that we simply need to get John’s blood pressure and cholesterol under control and all will be fine. I am RESTING in the FIRM knowledge that God always has us in His grip; however, I also recognize the reality that being His child does not mean an exemption from illness and even death. Please, please, please pray for us.

I pray frequently the words my Savior uttered before going to the cross, “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.” Luke 22:42