Thank you Jesus for this truck (part 2)

The feelings are still all jumbled in my brain and my heart, so please excuse me if they come out a mess. John called a little bit ago to tell me that the truck was sputtering, spewing out blue/black smoke, and would not go over 30 miles per hour. My head spun and my stomach started to hurt. I full well know all the proverbial sayings which fit this situation: you get what you pay for, buyer beware, be careful on craigslist (okay that one’s not really a proverb). Yet they don’t help at all. When we were sitting on the side of that street after test-driving this thing, we were nervous and we prayed, and every day since then we have nervously waited as John turned the key fearing that our worst suspicions would be confirmed and the cheap p.o.c. (piece of crap) would reveal its true colors.

So now that our worst fears about this truck have been realized, what do we do? How to reconcile the blog of three days ago Thank you Jesus for this truck with today’s blog?

I guess the first thing you do is pray, and you rally the troops around you to pray. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7 You pray because He holds all the answer. You pray because He is all powerful. But being gut-wrenchingly honest, you pray because it is about the only thing you can do.

Next I think you remind yourself that He is in control. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth (or this truck) give way and the mountains (or this truck) fall into the heart of the sea, Psalm 46:2 This whole situation did not take our God by surprise. He is not wringing His hands wondering what to do. He can see the final outcome, and He is in control even when it feels out of control.

Finally, you remind yourself that He has your best interest in mind. For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11 No matter what it feels like. No matter what it looks like. God is working things out for your ultimate and eternal good. Never forget that no matter how badly Satan tries to tell you otherwise.

I wanted so badly to just gloss over this situation. To only blog about the nicer things. To only reveal the less embarrassing foibles of the Kastners. But I felt such a strong urging from God to lay this all out there. I think it is mostly because I need all of you who read this blog to please PRAY for us. We are discouraged and unsure of what to do. We need God’s touch, guidance, and help.

So there it all is. The dirty laundry laid out for you. But no matter how ugly my pile of laundry looks, don’t you dare doubt for one second that I am JUST as safe and secure in my Father’s arms as I was three days ago. Therefore I am going to end this blog with what might seem like nonsense, but makes a whole lot of sense to me and God. “Thank you Jesus for this truck!”

Thank you Jesus for that truck!

“Father God, please provide a second form of transportation for this family.” I have been praying these words faithfully for the past five months. Over the past year, God had taken us from a two-car family with two car payments to a one-car family with one car payment. We believed strongly that this was the responsible thing to do and was one way that God was going to rescue us from our financial troubles. Initially, it was not so bad. It was winter. We homeschool. I work at home. Besides groceries and errands, we only have to leave the house for church and AWANA. Social events were difficult, but we were managing. The worst part was trying to squish all of my grocery shopping and errands into Thursday night, Saturday afternoon, and Sunday afternoon, the only times John was off.

Then spring came, soccer started, and things started heating up. The kids and I walked 1.5 miles one way to soccer practice, sometimes twice a week. We tried to arrange rides sometimes, and my family helped as much as they could. However, with four children you don’t fit in anything but a mini-van or Suburban. It was difficult, and even though I have law-enforcement officials reading this blog (close your eyes Aimee), I will admit that a few times I squished all four of them in the back of a sedan (two in one seatbelt). Only for very important things like we were freezing and needed to get home from soccer or when we went to see Danny Gokey. (Hush! That was VERY important!) The stress had really started building this week as my work schedule has been getting busy again too. I prayed at least once this week, "God something has GOT to give. I cannot do this anymore."

After five months of praying the same thing every day and not really having any idea how God would answer that prayer, I am typing this with tears in my eyes because I get to tell all of you: we have a second vehicle! We have been scouring Criagslist for junker trucks, old vans, even a few hatchbacks. We set the bar VERY low, maximum price $1000 and eventually upped it a little to $1500. We e-mailed and called on hundreds of vehicles. We looked at two last night and came home with the second. It is a 1994 Dodge with high mileage. It is a beast of a truck - big bed, huge engine. The exterior is rough, and there are a couple of things wrong with it, but we are thrilled!

This morning when I looked out the front window and saw it parked in front of our house I wanted to cry. As I walked this morning and prayed, I kept wanting to jump up and down and scream when I said, “Thank you Jesus for that truck!” And as I prayed, I couldn’t stop coming back to it, “Jesus please heal Hannah’s little eyes. Let the patching work and strengthen her eye. Help her to keep that patch on. Oh and THANK YOU FOR THAT TRUCK!” It kept creeping back into my prayers.

Before we went looking at the trucks last night, when we got to the first truck, when we got to the second truck, and before we made the decision to take it, we prayed. We prayed. We prayed. We prayed. On the way home, when we got home, as we cleaned out BOTH of our vehicles, and before we went to bed, we praised God and thanked Him. When I woke up this morning, as I walked and as I prayed, I kept thanking God. But all of a sudden as I traveled east down Drexel Avenue, it hit me. It hit me hard and stark. God answered my prayer! I am not sure exactly how to explain it, but I prayed for this through every step of the decision making process, and I thanked God for it when it came to fruition. But I had kinda forgotten that this had been on my prayer list for a LONG time and God answered it. All of a sudden, I had one of those moments where the Bible became so real to me:

If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.
Matthew 21:22
You do not have, because you do not ask God.
James 4:2b
And my God will meet all your needs according to His glorious
riches in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19

Sometimes we fly through life so quickly. We never take the time to stop and look around us and realize all the things that God has given us, all the prayers He has answered. I want to encourage you to stop today and look around. I know you may have hard things you are going through, but I also know that there are very likely things that He has given you that you can be thankful for. Yes the Kastners have struggled for a long time with financial troubles that are deep and dark. But we have a happy marriage. We have healthy children. We have family who loves and supports us. We have a church family we belong to. We have TWO VEHICLES! Most importantly, we have our Jesus! He walks with us through the hard and the good. He guides us, He protects us, He loves us, He forgives us, and he PROVIDES FOR US!

I just can’t stop saying: Thank you JESUS for that truck! And I hope you’ll look around today and find things you’re thankful for too. Then don't forget to say, "Thank you Jesus for _________!"