Worship Wednesday: Carol of the Bells

Hark how the bells, sweet silver bells
All seem to say throw cares away
Christmas is here, bringing good cheer
To young and old, meek and the bold

Ding-dong, ding-dong, that is their song
With joyful ring, all caroling
One seems to hear, words of good cheer
From everywhere, filling the air

Gaily they ring, while people sing
Songs of good cheer, Christmas is here
Merry merry merry merry Christmas
Merry merry merry merry Christmas
On and on they send, on without end
Their joyful tone to every home
Ding-dong ding-dong, ding-dong ding-dong
Ding-dong ding-dong, ding-dong ding-dong


Meh... I know this one is not very spiritual, but today, THIS day, I need to hear, "Hark how the bells, sweet silver bells; All seem to say THROW CARES AWAY"  over and over and OVER again!


My days before vacation are going out like a LION!  I am stressed!  Trying to work... the kids let the dog out... didn't listen to me about how to get her back... I had to race out in my pajamas and robe to try to catch her... couldn't get the minivan back up the driveway... foot is ice cold from being in a snow bank... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!  "THROW CARES AWAY!!!!!!  THROW CARES AWAY!!!!!"    My silver bells are screaming, "ONE MORE DAY JAMI! ONE MORE DAY!"


So anywhoos... there is my not very spiritual Worship Wednesday, but WAIT!  I think I just got my spiritual application!!!!


Throw your cares away!  Don't just be "merry" this Christmas but throw your cares away!  Because this isn't just about snow and lighted trees and presents!  The light of the world came to SAVE OUR SOULS!  How can ANY of our cares matter in light of that truth???


Hope you all have a BLESSED Christmas!  I literally have at least three blogs backed up in my heart, but I just have NOT had time to write about them lately.  Hopefully on my vaca I will find time to get them up here.


God bless!

Worship Wednesday: Breath of Heaven

I only get to hear this song around Christmas... You know because it's "Mary's Song" and all.  But it grabs me ANYtime of the year.  The story of a faithful servant following God's direction when all those around think that servant is nuts.  The tale of someone KNOWING God spoke, having NO proof but his/her own certainty.  The wonder of the courage of standing against ALL:  friends, family, loved ones, those secular, AND fellow believers, who just don't GET what God has spoken, partially because they didn't hear it and partially because the message from God was so stinking LOONY!  That storyline SPEAKS to me:  Noah building the Ark, Abraham placing his only son on the altar, the virgin with child, the disciple walking on water....

As one who loves God deeply and tries HARD to follow His voice NO MATTER WHAT, I too have been in that place.  The place of KNOWING that God wanted me to do something and FEARING what others would think.  That predicament of KNOWING that I had NO good reason for what I was doing and that "God told me to" sounded so weak.  That terrifying, tumultuous, crazy place of PEACE.  Somehow experiencing BOTH the storm of uncertainty and at the same time the CALM of peace.

That's why I <3 this song!  Because I can SCREAM along with it, "Breath of Heaven, hold me together; Be forever near me, breath of Heaven; Breath of Heaven, lighten my darkness....."  But my favorite part.... It is so poignant... it is:

Help me be strong...
Help me be...
Help ME...

Love it!  Love it!  LOVE it!

Whatever God is telling you to do today, no matter how crazy, take heart!  If God is asking you to do something off-the-wall, you are in GOOD company.  You're standing beside Noah, Abraham, Mary, Peter and so MANY more!  Take heart.  Have faith.  But most importantly let Him "hold you together."

Merry Christmas everyone!


I have traveled many moonless nights
Cold and weary with a babe inside
And I wonder what I've done
Holy Father, You have come
And chosen me now to carry Your Son

I am waiting in a silent prayer
I am frightened by the load I bear
In a world as cold as stone
Must I walk this path alone?
Be with me now, be with me now

Breath of Heaven, hold me together
Be forever near me, breath of Heaven
Breath of Heaven, lighten my darkness
Pour over me Your holiness for You are holy
Breath of Heaven

Do you wonder as you watch my face
If a wiser one should have had my place?
But I offer all I am
For the mercy of Your plan
Help me be strong, help me be, help me

Breath of Heaven, hold me together

Be forever near me, breath of Heaven

Breath of Heaven, lighten my darkness

Pour over me Your holiness for You are holy

Breath of Heaven, hold me together

Be forever near me, breath of Heaven

Breath of Heaven, lighten my darkness

Pour over me Your holiness for You are holy

Breath of Heaven, breath of Heaven, Breath of Heaven

Worship Wednesday: Mary Did You Know?

Last night we watched the Passion of Christ.  Actually, I tried hard NOT to watch it.  I am just WAY too sensitive for that movie!  Even ignoring the subtitles and concentrating on my crocheting with the movie only as background noise, I bawled like a baby.  What my Lord went through for me!  The horror He suffered!  The pain of his earthly mother!  They are TOO much for me to bear!

I kept thinking about the glory set before Him.  Yet, even for the glory set before Him, I could not stop BAWLING over the horror He endured.  As a mother I am always especially hard hit by the focus on Mary.  How could she watch them do that to the Child who came from her womb?!?!  Yet I'm sure she never even entertained the idea of leaving her Child in His toughest hour.

My thoughts turned towards this song.  It has always haunted my soul.  How much of the PLAN did God reveal to Mary?  What did God reveal to her soul?  She knew her womb carried the child of God, yet....  The miracle of the blind seeing?  The horror of the cross?  These details....  What did she know???  When did she know???

It reminded me that we OFTEN do not know.  The wonder of a generous gift...  The uncertainty of a sudden relapse... These details....  We never know they are coming.  But here is the GLORIOUS part!  (...for Mary and for us...)  Mary did not HAVE to know.  As glorious as the beginning of His life was...  As gut wrenching as the end was...  Mary did not HAVE to know!  God knew.  He knew and He would give her the strength to endure.  He knows and He will give us the strength to endure!

Whatever this day brings, do NOT forget He knows!  He knows.

Mary, did you know
that your baby boy will one day walk on water?

Mary, did you know
that your baby boy will save our sons and daughters?

Did you know,
that your baby boy has come to make you new?
This child that you've delivered,
will soon deliver you.

Mary, did you know
that your baby boy will give sight to a blind man?

Mary, did you know
your baby boy will calm a storm with his hand?

Did you know,
that your baby boy has walked where angels trod?
When you kiss your little baby,
you've kissed the face of God.

The blind will see
The deaf will hear
The dead will live again.
The lame will leap
The dumb will speak
The praises of The Lamb.

Mary, did you know
that your baby boy is Lord of all creation?

Mary, did you know
that your baby boy will one day rule the nations?

Did you know,
that your baby boy is heaven's perfect lamb?
This sleeping child you're holding, is the great I AM.

Instant Karma

Last night we watched our most recent Netflix arrival, House Season 6 Disc 2, which (coincidentally enough) was supposed to arrive last weekend but got stuck in the USPS machines and was delayed in its arrival.  However, House doesn't believe in coincidences, and neither do I.  Granted it is for different reasons that we agree.  See I don't believe in coincidences, I believe in God's providence.  I also don't believe in "Instant Karma" I believe in God's will; however, I do believe in catchy blog titles.  So now I've babbled long enough... I'm sure you're all wondering, "Where is she GOING with this????"

As previously mentioned on this blog, the Kastner family (inspired by DFL - dear friend Lori) has embarked upon an Advent Project this year.  As a family, we talked about what this season REALLY means. What is Christmas all about?  After arriving at the conclusion that it is all about JESUS, we discussed the concept of focusing HARD during these days leading up to Christmas on honoring Jesus, on showing Him we love Him.  We have challenged ourselves, personally and as a family, to seek out ways to HONOR Him with all we do.

So last night we had to pick John up in Hartford (trusty old Buick needs brakes, tires, and HEAT).  We were stalling for time and it was approaching (and passing) dinner time. So I decided to pick up a small snack at McD's.  (Dinner was planned and waiting at home, but kids, and mom, were getting cranky from hunger NOW.) So anyways there we were sitting in the drive thru when I remember our project.  I remember Lori mentioning something about paying for the person behind her in the drive thru.  (I have ALWAYS wanted to do that!  But I am typically counting pennies, paying the lady with handfuls of change when I am at McD's.)  Well we are not rolling in the dough this Christmas; however, we are more "caught up" then we have been in a long time and I decided, "Let's do it!"  

So I presented the idea to the kids.  They were VERY enthusiastic in their answer.  As we pulled up for our turn to order, Noah said, "I'm so excited I'm trembling!"  I'm not gonna lie, I was a little scared.  What if the person behind us was taking burgers back to a houseful of people and I ended up paying thousands of dollars???  I tried to calm myself with realizations that I have A LOT of kids and even when they are allowed to "order stuff that's not on the dollar menu" we don't typically go over $40 at McDonalds.  We pulled up to the window to pay.  

After paying for our food ($5.99), I told the lady, "We would like pay for the person behind us."  

She said, "Do you know them?"

I said, "No.  We just want to do something nice for someone."

She said, "Okay, but I have to tell you, their order came to $26.04."  (Figures!  That is just the Jami-luck at work there!)

I smiled.  "That's fine," I replied.  "We just want you to tell them to 'Have a Merry Christmas.' "  

The kids were staring out the back window at the car behind us.  "They have a girl your age Noah."  Jeremiah said.

"I wish we could SEE their faces!"  Noah added.

It was such a priceless and PRECIOUS moment for us!  Well worth every penny of that HUGE order behind us :)  We were a little stymied in our getaway attempt.  This McD's was under construction, and it was dinner time and we had to weave around cars and then drive 3/4 of the way back around the building just to get out.  I fretted a little over getting caught.  So, ever the teacher (you have to be when you're a homeschooling mom), I started to instruct the kids, "Sometimes the best part of blessing someone is doing it secretly."  FINALLY with all the finesse of Maxwell Smart, we exited the parking lot.  

It was a great life lesson for my children.  They LOVED perpetrating a Random Act of Kindness.  However, that's not where the lesson ended for this family.  Nopes!  This time God had more.

We arrived home to find a riding lawn mower parked next to our porch.  It wasn't just ANY riding lawn mower.  It was the riding lawn mower we had borrowed all summer.  (I tried to find something in my blog about this but I can't.  REALLY!?!?!?  Did I REALLY not blog at ALL about the fact that our neighbors down the street saw us trying to push mow our 2 acres and offered to let us borrow their riding mower, "Any time... As long as you need to..."  How is that POSSIBLE!?!?!  It was one of the GREATEST blessings in the history of blessings!  Regardless, all summer long we had been borrowing this mower.)  As we pulled up next to it, we saw a bunch of stuff on the seat.  John climbed out of the van and checked it out.  It was an owner's manual, cables...  Could it be?  NO!  There's no way!!!  John said, "It looks like they are giving this to us."  We were dumbfounded.

Well he drove down the cul de sac and had a chat with our neighbors and SURE ENOUGH!  They gave us this lawn mower!  The man told John that from the first time we borrowed the mower, God had laid it upon his heart that it would be ours.  All summer long, he planned that come Christmas he would give us this mower.  He said he drove it up to his house, all decked out in his Santa hat, but we weren't home.  What an INCREDIBLE blessing!  How AMAZ-ZUH-ZING!  

Now please do NOT get me wrong.  The purpose of our blessing that stranger at McDonald's was BLESSING SOMEONE!  We had NO hidden agenda.  We did NOT expect (or even necessarily want) to be blessed back for it.  Just the joy of surprising someone unexpectedly like that was enough for us!  Yet still I was VERY grateful.  Not just for the AMAZING, nearly brand new lawn mower that is now parked in our garage, but mostly for the lessons my children had learned this day.  So many their heads were spinning:  

*it's a GREAT thing to give

*giving anonymously and surprisingly is an adventure

*honoring Jesus is not only the right thing to do it is SOOOOO exciting

*when you obey God irregardless of the consequences ($26.04 McDonalds bill behind us) He takes CARE of you (riding lawn mower - Merry Christmas!)

So today instead of just inspiration blanketed in a mumbo jumbo of words, I am also presenting you with a challenge.... a dare of sorts...

Dare to do something EXTRAVAGANT for someone today.  Just for the SOLE purpose of blessing them.  It doesn't have to be monetary!  Answer a grumpy person with an encouraging word.  Offer to help a coworker with their workload.  Stop to help a busy mother load her groceries into her van.  Do it because it is good Karma :)  Do it because it honors Jesus.  Do it because it is the RIGHT, KIND, Christmassy thing to do.  But don't be surprised if it comes RIGHT back to you with lightening speed.

Have a GREAT day everyone!  

Worship Wednesday: O Holy Night

I decided that this month, Worship Wednesdays should be about Christmas Carols!  How fun hey?  I am starting this my new directive with my FAVORITE Christmas Carol of all time....

Not going to really say much...  Today worship is enough.  The only thing I will say is:

THIS is what this season is all about:  the holy, HOLY night when Christ came to earth to live and then die and finally to rise again all for the purpose of saving a sinner like me!

I read a GREAT blog this morning from my friend (the now famous) Lori...  The Kastner's are going to focus more on what this season is REALLY about by starting an Advent Project today too... Thanks for the inspiration Lori!]

Now stop reading my words and focus in on these!

O Holy Night


O holy night!
The stars are brightly shining
It is the night of the dear Savior's birth
Long lay the world in sin and error pining
Till he appeared and the soul felt its worth
A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn!


Fall on your knees
Oh hear the angel voices
Oh night divine
Oh night when Christ was born
Oh night divine
Oh night divine


Truly He taught us to love one another 
His law is love and His gospel is peace
Chains shall He break for the slave is our brother
And in His name all oppression shall cease
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we 
Let all within us praise His holy name

Gleaning from our suffering....

I believe the reasons for this thing called suffering are many faceted. I've blogged about it before. Suffering can be a natural consequence of a choice made. Suffering can be our faith being tested and purified. Suffering can be for the blessing and encouragement of others. Today I think maybe suffering can be for the sake of my children.... so that something beautiful can be birthed in them.

Back at Christmas, when Christmas Angels blessed us with a MULTITUDE of gifts, our children became inspired to do the same for another family next year. They've been saving their allowance ever since. Today I saw in my children another beautiful thing birthed out of our suffering.

This afternoon, Elijah brought the mail in, and the second I saw the return address, I knew what was inside. As I pulled out the note card and opened it up, tears started to build in the back of my throat. A check was taped closed inside, but I bypassed it savoring the encouraging words I found. I started reading the note, "Kastner family, The Lord has laid your family on our hearts..." Then at the end a P.S. that let me know someone is reading these words I blog, "I hope from this your little ones can enjoy their favorite meals." Without opening the check yet, I lifted it to read the words written beneath, "Thanks so much for sharing on your blogs....." Finally I opened the check. My breath caught at the sight of the amount! This check wouldn't just help our little ones enjoy their favorite meals.... it would help us get our new washer too!!!! The tears spring quickly from my eyes, and I hiccuped a quick cry.

Hannah said, "Guys! Mom's crying." As I closed the card, I said, "It's good tears, Hannah. It's good tears." Noah, wise beyond his years and "first in class" in this course entitled, "The suffering of the Kastner family," quickly said, "Someone blessed us with a check didn't they?" I nodded, words eluding me.... the discernment of my baby... the BLESSING from God.... the conviction of how ONCE AGAIN my faith had wobbled a little... they were all overcoming me again. Noah came to me and grabbed my hands in the middle of the kitchen and just started praying,

"Dear Lord,

Thank you for blessing us! Thank you for the people who blessed us. We pray that you bless them. Bless them today. Bless them this month. Bless them this year. Keep on blessing and blessing and blessing them.

Amen."

I opened my eyes and gazed at this 10-year old man of God standing in front of me. If I never, ever have another penny the rest of my life.... If I have to rely upon the goodness of God's people, humbling myself and laying down my pride to accept the charity of my brothers and sisters in Christ all the days of my life... it will all be worthwhile. For my children IMMEDIATELY look to God when we are blessed. They immediately KNOW who blessed us. It wasn't Mr. & Mrs. ___________ from Podunk, OK who blessed us. It was GOD! So they immediately give Him praise. But they also know the second thing to do when someone blesses us, they ask God to bless them right back.

So thank you Mr. & Mrs. ______________ from Podunk, OK. Thank you for blessing us! The Kastner children WILL eat their favorite meals all weekend and into next week for sure! And the Kastners will finally have a wash machine again too. But more than that.... so much more valuable than that, your gift helped teach four little children (and their ever forgetful Momma) that God NEVER forgets them.... that there are angels walking among us.... and that it is VERY blessed to be generous.

The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.' Matthew 25:40

The yarn tangle....

It started before Christmas. We were talking with the kids about how it would likely be a tight Christmas. Jeremiah said, "Maybe you could give me something you made yourself! Like a sweater!" We chuckled about that because I am in NO WAY capable of making a sweater, but then I started thinking. I used to know how to crochet. It can't be that difficult to pick up again. I set out on an adventure crocheting scarves for the children. It morphed into crocheting scarves for my step-daughters and their boyfriends, and then one for my cousin's baby and my sister. By Christmas I had crocheted 11 scarves!

I realized that in this season of my life crocheting is very good for me. It is very therapeutic. There is something about the repetitiveness of it that is soothing. It also makes me feel productive at the exact same time I am sitting still getting some much needed rest and relaxation. Finally, it actually relaxes me so much that it puts me to sleep. John has made fun of me several times for actually falling asleep sitting up in the recliner with my crocheting in my lap. He says I am SO an elderly person now.

Well, always one to think a little more highly of me than I deserve, my husband returned home from work one day and asked, "Can you make my boss a scarf by tomorrow?" I laughed and said maybe I could get one done in two days but not by the next morning. I asked what color and he said, "Navy." Navy.... oh navy....

I picked up the navy skein of yarn I had in my yarn box and started on the scarf; however, just a few rows into the project, I encountered a tangle of epic proportions. Now to my knowledge I am not aware of anyone rolling around in this particular skein of yarn, so I have NO idea how it got so tangled, but it was BAD! I spent all of my crocheting time for about two days trying to untangle this thing. It was frustrating. It was hard. Several times I wanted to just give up and toss the thing in the trash. But I was DETERMINED not to let this yarn tangle win. So on I fought.

I kept thinking surely as I get closer and closer to the end of this escapade it will get easier... surely if I just get a little more untangled I will be able to breeze through the last bits of the tangle. But no dice! From the beginning of that struggle all the way through to the end it was ARDUOUS! That tangle was like the monster tangle from hell itself. I have never felt relief like I felt when I finally got through the end of that thing and was left with just a neat little ball of yarn. I had conquered the tangle and the heady feeling of accomplishment was a great high.

I've been thinking about that yarn tangle a lot lately. Struggles in life can be a lot like that monster yarn tangle. They can be HARD! Sometimes we think if we can just get a little further through that bad boy, it will get easier. Or maybe we get irritated with ourselves, "Surely I should have this down pat by now. I've been dealing with the intricacies of this struggle for so long. I should be able to plow through this." But guess what sometimes struggles are just a BEAR! No matter how long we have been at them, they are just as tough as they were in the beginning. Some trials we face just don't get easier to handle with time. Some things we have to make it through are just tough 100% of the time. I LOVE the Casting Crowns song Praise You in the Storm. For almost 4 years now this part of the lyrics has been hitting me SQUARE in the chest:

I was sure by now, God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining....

There are struggles in our life that seem to go on forever. We get tired of fighting through them. Sometimes I feel other people even get tired of hearing about them. They (and we) think, "Come on! Get through this already! It should NOT be taking this long!" But God's timing is not our timing, and His ways are not our ways....

These never-ending type struggles, for whatever reason, don't seem to be any easier years down the road then they were when they first started. They are just as tangled and knotted as they were when we first encountered them. But guess what? There is an end! Even if it is not in sight. There is a way! He can make it. Eventually (even if it's not until you make it to Heaven) you will get through that tangle and make it to that neat little ball of yarn. And OH the triumph, oh the glory, oh the feeling of accomplishment when that struggle is behind you!

So don't give up! Fight on! Be a stubborn little brat. Cling to your fight like a 2-year old clings to the sucker her brother is trying to steal. Be tenacious! Who cares how long it takes? Who cares if others don't want to hear about your struggle anymore? You focus on God and buckle down and fight through that tangle with all you have got! I promise you, there IS a reward waiting at the end, and no matter how long it takes you to get there, you will be BLESSED for not giving up.

Happy untangling!

An open Thank You to all of our Christmas Angels

This Christmas, the one which closed out the most difficult year in the history of the Kastner family, was the best Christmas we have EVER had. Thanks entirely to the generosity of God's Christmas Angels, the Kastner children had a better Christmas then they have ever had before.

As Christmas approached, John and I started to realize that we might not be able to give the children any Christmas gifts this year. God was so generously providing for our needs during this time; however, we weren't sure presents would qualify as a need. So many had given us generous gifts, and we were sure God would get us through the rest of this trial with food in our bellies and a roof over our heads; however, we did not at all anticipate the "cherry on top of the sundae" He would provide. We gently began to prepare the children for this reality. Jeremiah so wise beyond his years said, "That's okay mom. I have everything I need in this wonderful family."

But then in a gesture designed solely to show us how much He loves us. In a totally unnecessary and purely lavish act, God impressed upon Christmas Angels to bless us. First from New Mexico arrived the presents Santa "accidentally delivered" to the wrong place. Then the cafeteria ladies from John's building sent home a ridiculous amount of loot for the children. Finally, we were contacted by our church and told a family from the community would like to provide presents for our Christmas. And of course there were the typical GOBS of presents the children are always blessed with from Oma, Poppa, and Riri. We were blessed beyond measure with an AMAZING Christmas. While I am eternally grateful for the smiles on the faces of our children and the joy in their hearts over all the Christmas presents they received, it is for the intangible, everlasting gifts that I am most grateful. Our children learned lessons of generosity and kindness that I do not think they will ever forget. Through the gifts of our Christmas Angels, our children learned that God doesn't just care for their needs He cares for their wants too. Through the gifts of our Christmas Angels, our children were inspired, and they are already saving some of their allowance for next Christmas so they can bless a family just like we were blessed.

John and I were humbled to the point of tears over the charitable gifts we were given this Christmas (and actually since the beginning of this ordeal), but it is not for the tangible things that I am finding myself most grateful. I am finding myself most grateful that my children know, I mean REALLY know, that God will always provide for them. That they have learned to depend on Him and Him alone for all their needs. That they have learned to be humble and generous and to always look for ways to bless others. Truly this brain surgery, this entire year.... what Satan had crafted to be the destruction of this family and our faith has become our greatest triumph. We are stronger than we were at the beginning of 2009 and we will NEVER let go of the faith that got us through all of this.

Thank you to ALL of our Angels (Christmas, Fall, rent, and food Angels). We are truly blessed because of you.

The dark side to love...

When I was 13, I broke three bones across the top of my foot at gymnastics. Apparently I had a slight tendency towards tears, therefore because I didn't cry, no one believed I was really hurt. I didn't cry because I was trying to tough it out. I didn't cry when it happened. I didn't cry when my coach examined it. I didn't cry when my friend's mom picked me up to drive her turn in the carpool and get me home. Oh but when I arrived home, the floodgates opened up! The second I saw my Momma, I couldn't put up a front any longer. All the tears I had been holding back, rushed forth in a torrent. See it is hard to keep our defenses up around those we know love us unconditionally.

I observe this phenomenon quite frequently in my own children. You've seen it too. You know you have! The same child who walks in the front door of your house and immediately drops his coat on the ground goes to a friends house, and the mother tells you, "He is such a wonderful child! He offered to help me with the dishes after dinner!" And you think, "I wish he would just 'offer' to pick up his coat once in awhile!"

As with all things we cannot accept the good without the bad. It is wonderful to know that I am someone that my children, my husband, my family can be real with. I love knowing that they do not feel they have to put up their defenses with me. However, it can also sting too. See the dark side to this principle is that we often "let it all hang out" for the ones we love the most. Like when I am crabby and grumpy with my husband, and the phone rings, some random person calling, and I pick it up with a smile and in a sweet voice say, "Hello!"

I also see this in the fact that it seems the closer someone is to us, the less often we engage the filter between our brain and our mouths. Now I guess we could, therefore, consider it a compliment when we get the unadultered (and sometimes painful) truth out of the mouths of those we love; however, I personally find it a bit of a shame. That the ones who matter most to us often don't get the courtesy we give to even strangers. That we are able to bite our tongue and hold back our negative or snarky comments with our friends, but are able to quickly spout off, "Mom this roast tastes like a tire tread."
With the holidays comes more and more "quality" time with our families. So I think it is a good time to consider a few things. Let's just call these Jami's rules for family gatherings.

1. It is okay not to say every single thing you think, and just because people are related to you, they are not entitled to your EVERY opinion. Do you REALLY think your sister-in-law needs to hear that you noticed she's put on a few pounds this year? Nopes. Chances are her scale is working JUST fine, and she does not need a reminder from you that there is more of her to love this year.

2. Gratefulness is not for the tangible gift given or the act committed; gratefulness is mostly for the sentiment behind the gift. If your grandmother gives you a pair of hot pink, shiny, spandex pants, just like those Olivia Newton John wore in the Let's Get Physical video. Even though with all your might you feel like screaming, "The 70s called. They want their hot pants back!" It would be much better to simply say, "Thank you." When mom slaves away all day over the turkey dinner, and it is so dry the turkey needs to be swimming in gravy in order to make the trip down your throat, it is okay to just be appreciative of the effort she put forth in making the meal.

3. Above all else put on kindness. You know kindness is about the most beautiful garment you could don this Christmas season. It will make those extra ten pounds seem like they just melt away. It can turn that dried out turkey into succulent fare. It can bind up old wounds. It can say, "I love you." like no other gesture can. It can be the best gift you give this year.

Good luck! Like any good thing in this world, families in excess can be a little hard to take. During this holiday time with tons of forced family fun, I urge you to tuck away the dark side of love and let the brightness, goodness, and kindness of your love for your family shine.