Thoughts on approval....

Good morning everyone! I'm in the midst of a crazy busy morning... what a WEEKEND we had! My little brother is leaving for basic training tomorrow. Saturday we had a HUGE going away party. Sunday we met for an intimate family dinner. It was a physically demanding and emotionally draining weekend. PLEASE do me a favor and keep my brother in your prayers....

So anywhoos back to this blog... This weekend was BUSY and this morning I have a TON to do. I quickly opened my Internet Explorer but before I could type in the address of my work's remote login site, an article about Tim Tebow caught my eye. I refuse to link to it because the situation irks me. But apparently over the weekend Tim Tebow attended a Yankees game (in Yankee fan attire) and when they showed his picture on the jumbotron, he was booed by the New York audience. [PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD ARE SO RUDE!  Tim Tebow IS a person you know! GRRRRRRR!] 

Anyways my heart cringed and my eyes got a little wet at the thought of it. You know this is just really a young guy, barely more than a kid, who is just trying to play football and be a good example in the process. The thought popped into my head that maybe it didn't even phase him. You know he has GOT to know that God's approval is WAY more important than man's and that God SURE is not booing him.  But then I thought more and realized, disapproval HURTS. No matter what.... No matter when... it hurts. It doesn't matter if we are surer than SURE that we are on the path that God has put our feet on or not... It hurts to feel the sting of other people's disapproval.

We homeschool our children not because it is an easy choice or because it is ALWAYS fun or because we're some sort of conspiracy nuts... We homeschool our children because we feel CALLED by God to make that choice for their education. We homeschool our children because we believe that God wants us to. We pray every, single, solitary year and ask God, "Where do you want these children to be educated?" And for the past few years, He has answered, "At home."  Yet STILL... in spite of the conviction and calling we SOLIDLY believe in, it hurts when people make snide remarks, try to convince us we're not doing right by our children, or simply look down their noses at us like they think we're stupid for homeschooling.

I'm sure it wasn't fun for Noah standing out in the dessert building an ark. I'm sure Moses didn't ENJOY leading the children of Israel through the Red Sea and into the dessert. I'm sure Jesus didn't enjoy the walk to the cross (the Bible says he cried out, "Lord, take this cup from me!"). I'm sure Tim Tebow didn't enjoy being booed this weekend. But in the discomfort of disapproval Noah, Moses, Tim and John & I have the comfort and sureness of knowing that we are following our God's instructions to us. Those instructions do NOT have to make sense to ANYONE else. Sure it helps to have the support of a few valued people. It helps that my sister homeschools too... that my mom continually says, "I'm so glad my grandbabies go to school at home." I would bet my FAVORITE coffee mug that Tim Tebow had some help after being booed. I bet he called Mom and she said, "Tim, don't worry about man's approval." But the help and support, the sureness of your conviction, they don't completely erase the sting of disapproval.

I guess I'm near the end of this blog and I'm not really sure what the lesson is supposed to be??? Maybe several things:

1. choose wisely when you're going to be negative to/about someone... booing, snide remarks, judgmental comments... you could be used as a tool of the devil, discouraging someone who is on the path God set them on!

2. if you're being booed... eyes up! refocus and see what God is saying... seek the approval of God not man... lick your wounds... run to your support system.... but ultimately remind yourself Whose approval matters the most.

3. (shameless plug) remember to pray for Seth Thomas Haugh (leaving for basic training tomorrow) our hearts will be missing a piece until he returns so we would really appreciate your prayers.

Worship Wednesday: Breath of Heaven

I only get to hear this song around Christmas... You know because it's "Mary's Song" and all.  But it grabs me ANYtime of the year.  The story of a faithful servant following God's direction when all those around think that servant is nuts.  The tale of someone KNOWING God spoke, having NO proof but his/her own certainty.  The wonder of the courage of standing against ALL:  friends, family, loved ones, those secular, AND fellow believers, who just don't GET what God has spoken, partially because they didn't hear it and partially because the message from God was so stinking LOONY!  That storyline SPEAKS to me:  Noah building the Ark, Abraham placing his only son on the altar, the virgin with child, the disciple walking on water....

As one who loves God deeply and tries HARD to follow His voice NO MATTER WHAT, I too have been in that place.  The place of KNOWING that God wanted me to do something and FEARING what others would think.  That predicament of KNOWING that I had NO good reason for what I was doing and that "God told me to" sounded so weak.  That terrifying, tumultuous, crazy place of PEACE.  Somehow experiencing BOTH the storm of uncertainty and at the same time the CALM of peace.

That's why I <3 this song!  Because I can SCREAM along with it, "Breath of Heaven, hold me together; Be forever near me, breath of Heaven; Breath of Heaven, lighten my darkness....."  But my favorite part.... It is so poignant... it is:

Help me be strong...
Help me be...
Help ME...

Love it!  Love it!  LOVE it!

Whatever God is telling you to do today, no matter how crazy, take heart!  If God is asking you to do something off-the-wall, you are in GOOD company.  You're standing beside Noah, Abraham, Mary, Peter and so MANY more!  Take heart.  Have faith.  But most importantly let Him "hold you together."

Merry Christmas everyone!


I have traveled many moonless nights
Cold and weary with a babe inside
And I wonder what I've done
Holy Father, You have come
And chosen me now to carry Your Son

I am waiting in a silent prayer
I am frightened by the load I bear
In a world as cold as stone
Must I walk this path alone?
Be with me now, be with me now

Breath of Heaven, hold me together
Be forever near me, breath of Heaven
Breath of Heaven, lighten my darkness
Pour over me Your holiness for You are holy
Breath of Heaven

Do you wonder as you watch my face
If a wiser one should have had my place?
But I offer all I am
For the mercy of Your plan
Help me be strong, help me be, help me

Breath of Heaven, hold me together

Be forever near me, breath of Heaven

Breath of Heaven, lighten my darkness

Pour over me Your holiness for You are holy

Breath of Heaven, hold me together

Be forever near me, breath of Heaven

Breath of Heaven, lighten my darkness

Pour over me Your holiness for You are holy

Breath of Heaven, breath of Heaven, Breath of Heaven

Who's controlling you?

I was reading The Love Dare over the weekend, and this struck me:

If you’re irritable, it’s because you choose to be. If you can’t function
without a clean house, it’s because you’ve decided no other way will do.
If you pick at your mate more than you praise them, it’s because you’ve allowed
your heart to be selfish.

I have long maintained the only person you can control is yourself, and no one else can control you unless you let them. When my children say to me, “He makes me so angry!” I always tell them, “You allow yourself to be angry. He can’t control you!” But this is so much easier to say then to live out!

I have this horrible flaw. I want everyone to approve. I cannot stand for people to disapprove of or doubt my decisions. I am a people-pleaser, and I just want to make everyone happy. This leads me to worry about EVERYTHING! I wonder what will my mother think of this? What will the people at church think of that? Even what will the checker at Pick ‘N Save think when I buy that? I give so much control to others in my life, important (my mom) and not so important (checker at Pick ‘N Save).

Here is the biggest problem with this, quite frequently God calls us to do things that make sense to no one. [Think Noah and the Ark, Joshua at the Battle of Jericho, Peter walking on water.] Often we are asked to step out in faith believing that His ways are not our ways, and to others we must look at best silly but oftentimes even insane. The more control I give to others by worrying what they will think, the less control I give to God.

What’s a people-pleaser to do? I guess I can choose to follow the example of any one of those Biblical heroes: Noah, Joshua, Peter. I choose Peter. I actually like how Peter starts to sink when he focuses on the wind and waves. I can practically see myself starting to sink into a sea of faces. The faces of all those people I am so worried will disapprove of me. I like even more what comes next. Peter is saved when he LOOKS AT JESUS. That is just so poignant. Focus on Jesus! Keep your eyes on Jesus! Do NOT worry about what anyone else will think. Do not fret that this or that person might be watching you and judging you. Keep your eyes on Jesus! Seek God’s will and then with your eyes firmly fixed on your Savior walk across those waves and triumph over all that disapproval!

So that's what I'm gonna do! This people-pleaser is turning in her membership card and vowing with everything in her to keep her eyes affixed on her Savior and pleasing Him alone. Will you join me?