John and I have a new obsession on television. It is called Brothers & Sisters. We found it on Netflix. It is tawdry, fake, sassy and at the exact same time REAL. I literally cry through every episode. It is weird that I like this show as much as I do because its political and social agenda differ VASTLY from mine, plus Calista Flockhart has never been my favorite actress. Alas I love the show anyway.
Over the weekend we watched this fantastic episode. (SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT!) Kitty was struggling to fight lymphoma, and she just wanted a night out. Her husband Robert (a senator and filthy rich) surprised her with a rooftop dinner for two. It was perfectly staged and BEAUTIFUL... a complete surprise... even included fireworks. As they stood there gazing on what he had done for her.... So wildly imperfect [Kitty had cancer running through her veins.. Robert was a pretty recent survivor of a heart bypass... Just a few episodes ago their marriage had nearly fallen apart due to Robert's overzealous ambition and Kitty's affair]... all I could think was how BEAUTIFUL they were. How beautiful their story was. How beautiful their love was. And I heard God whisper, "That is LOVE Jami. That is LOVE."
Love isn't the perfect couple that has never fought, never betrayed, never doubted. Love is the couple that has been to Hell and back and is still standing together. Love is facing health catastrophes, financial destitution, barrenness, legal battles and even infidelity and coming out on the other side TOGETHER. I always feel so ashamed of my flaws. I want so badly to present to the world this picture of perfection. A perfect person.. a perfect marriage... perfect children... perfect home... All of a sudden in that moment, with Robert and Kitty standing on that rooftop strong and BEAUTIFUL, I realized that it is the FLAWS that make something/someone beautiful. Perfection is overrated! There is beauty and STRENGTH in triumphing over the hurdles you have faced.
There is an added layer for those of us who love and serve Jesus. This lesson goes beyond the beauty of the human spirit triumphing over adversity. A whole new wave of BEAUTY rushes over me when I look at my flaws and appreciate the beauty of them and then WOOSH! come the realization that those flaws are SO beautiful in me because it is then that God is shining through me most brightly. In our weakness HE is strong....
So I challenge you, look at your flaws differently today. Appreciate their beauty... but most of all delight in the chance for God to shine more brightly through the "bare spots" in your life.
God bless!
Showing posts with label infidelity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label infidelity. Show all posts
Monday, January 31, 2011
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Thoughts on jealousy
Last night John and I watched Not Easily Broken. It was at least a “3-cry” movie. It is about marriage and is based on a novel by T.D. Jakes. At one point, the wife confronts the husband because she suspects he is having an affair. She asks, “Did you sleep with her?” He tells her he did not, but he tells her he does have feelings for the other woman. The wife collapses back against her pillow deeply wounded and says, “She’s stolen your heart from me?” The scene was especially poignant for me.
I have long maintained that it would be much worse if my husband had an emotional affair then it would be if he had a physical affair. It would hurt much more to know that his heart had been captivated by another woman. Perhaps that is why Jesus said, “You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Matthew 5:27 – 28 He knew that a sin does not have to be carried all the way through to commission to bring devastating results.
John gets irritated when I am on the computer when he is home. It does not matter if I am on the computer writing or working or if I am on the computer playing on Facebook or chatting. It drives him nuts! This week it came up during the American Idol finale. I was rapidly commenting, chatting, and posting on Facebook during the finale. He was hurt and irritated because he was sitting right there and I still had to be on Facebook conversing with other people. As I walked up the stairs to go to bed that night, God started ministering to me: John has a right to be jealous. You have very little time with him home. He has a right to be jealous when you spend some of that precious time ignoring him. Then God took it further by showing me jealousy is not a sinful emotion, even He feels jealousy.
For the LORD your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God. Deuteronomy 4:24. God wants my affections, my time, my HEART! How it must wound Him when someone or something else steals my heart from Him. Lately my life has heated up to a rapid boil. The first things to be sacrificed on my altar of craziness always seem to be: prayer and Bible study. I let my heart be stolen by a stupid job, by needing a cleaner house, by Facebook over and over and over again, and God has a right to be jealous!
My God and my husband, in that order, deserve my whole heart. They have a right to be jealous when I allow busyness, socializing, even service to steal my heart away from them. So today I am going to purpose in my heart to stop giving my heart away to others, to strive for a better balance (even in the busy times) which gives my God and my husband their proper places in my heart.
I have long maintained that it would be much worse if my husband had an emotional affair then it would be if he had a physical affair. It would hurt much more to know that his heart had been captivated by another woman. Perhaps that is why Jesus said, “You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Matthew 5:27 – 28 He knew that a sin does not have to be carried all the way through to commission to bring devastating results.
John gets irritated when I am on the computer when he is home. It does not matter if I am on the computer writing or working or if I am on the computer playing on Facebook or chatting. It drives him nuts! This week it came up during the American Idol finale. I was rapidly commenting, chatting, and posting on Facebook during the finale. He was hurt and irritated because he was sitting right there and I still had to be on Facebook conversing with other people. As I walked up the stairs to go to bed that night, God started ministering to me: John has a right to be jealous. You have very little time with him home. He has a right to be jealous when you spend some of that precious time ignoring him. Then God took it further by showing me jealousy is not a sinful emotion, even He feels jealousy.
For the LORD your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God. Deuteronomy 4:24. God wants my affections, my time, my HEART! How it must wound Him when someone or something else steals my heart from Him. Lately my life has heated up to a rapid boil. The first things to be sacrificed on my altar of craziness always seem to be: prayer and Bible study. I let my heart be stolen by a stupid job, by needing a cleaner house, by Facebook over and over and over again, and God has a right to be jealous!
My God and my husband, in that order, deserve my whole heart. They have a right to be jealous when I allow busyness, socializing, even service to steal my heart away from them. So today I am going to purpose in my heart to stop giving my heart away to others, to strive for a better balance (even in the busy times) which gives my God and my husband their proper places in my heart.
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