I have a cat....

Did you ever have one of those moments where something quite obvious hits you like it is brand new?  The other day I was sitting in the living room. Job came into the room, and I thought, "Holy crap!  I have a cat!"

For those of you who don't know me "real and in the flesh" let me just say, I am the LEAST likely person to have a cat. I mean besides a mouse there is NO OTHER creature on the face of this planet who is LESS likely to own a cat than Jami Lynn Kastner (okay maybe my dad too). In my pre-cat owning days, I had a saying that went something like this, "The only good cat is a dead cat."

However, we live in the country now. We are NEXT DOOR neighbors with cows. When it gets cold in the country, mice have a way of finding passage into a warm country house.  Hence the need for a cat.  See our cat isn't just a pet. This is a WORKING household, and every member of it has a job to do.  Job's job is catching mice.  Anywhoos... that is the reason why the other day I found myself faced with the stark realization that, "I have a cat!"

Life hits me that way sometimes too.

     "I have FOUR kids!"

     "I am 41!"

     "I canNOT do a toe touch anymore!

These things SHOULDN'T surprise me, yet time and time again they do.

Here's one that hits me like a ton of bricks over and OVER again:

     Christ died for my sins.

CHRIST the Son of God, the Lord of Lords, the Prince of Peace...

DIED a horrible, painful, disgusting, excruciating, inhumane death on a cross...

FOR MY... Jami Lynn Kastner, not some random, faceless, nameless person... ME...

SINS my ick, my ugly, the things I wish no one knew, the shameful, miserable, filthy, rotten stuff

Let it hit you like a sucker punch to the gonads!  The absolutely perfect, sinless God of this universe suffered and died for YOU! Not because you deserved it.  Not because you're a pretty good person.  While you were still a dirty rotten sinner... While I was still a dirty rotten sinner....  Christ died for us!  for no other reason than because He loved us SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much He couldn't stand the thought of living without us.

Let the beauty of that OBVIOUS truth hit you like it is BRAND NEW today.

Christ died for my sins.

The miracle of life: a cat's birth story

On Monday evening, our little Mercie Mae gave birth to four healthy kittens. Go ahead and laugh at the new country peops... we thought she was too young to get preggos. Turns out a kitten "becomes a woman" quite earlier than a human. In our ignorance, we started letting our NOT-fixed kitty freely roam our country locale, and before you know it, one too many late nights led to a very bulging abdomen.

As the end of her pregnancy approached I kept lamenting, "I'm not even a cat person!" I was thinking, "Yeah! This is JUST what I need! Because I didn't have enough stuff to do around here already." When her behavior changed significantly on Monday morning, it became QUITE evident we'd be helping her birth those kittens soon. I had read on the Internet (what in the WORLD did we do before Google???) that because of her young age, there was a high chance that Mercie would have a small liter, give birth to dead kittens, and/or have no interest in the kittens. The Internet gave details on how to help your cat give birth just in case she showed no interest. "Ewwwwww!" I screamed out to God after reading the instructions, "I can't be a cat midwife! I didn't even like being in the room when I gave birth!"

Well, Mia Peiffer, my friend's daughter, wanted to be informed when the kittens were born. She called on Monday night to check if they were here yet. I told her no kittens yet and hung up the phone. Within five minutes of that call I heard the first kitten mewling. It was like she was prophetic! I quickly called John, and we stood watch to "help" Mercie with her labor. What happened amazed me and filled me with wonder at how great our God is. (I'm not gonna lie it also made me gag SEVERAL times.)

Our Mercie Mae, still really a kitten herself, knew exactly what to do. She did everything just like the Internet said she would. AMAZING! How did she do that? I didn't buy her a kitten version of What to Expect When You're Expecting. She just KNEW. The instincts God gave her kicked in and she just KNEW!

What an amazing God we serve! What an incredible Creator! He took the time to make sure that EVERY SINGLE creature on this earth would know EXACTLY how to bring new life into this world! This silly little kitty knew exactly how to bring those kittens into this world. She has also become QUITE the great momma cat, caring for those kittens like a pro.

It reminds me of "consider the lilies of the field..." If God cared THIS much about cats, how much MORE does he care about you! You are so much more precious to Him then a cat! You are created in His image! You are the apple of his eye! You are important enough to Him that He sent His ONE and ONLY Son to die for you! Do you really think He doesn't see your problems? Do you really think He doesn't know about your pain? Do you really think He doesn't care? Pshaw! He sees. He knows. He cares.

P.S. Stay turned for a "Free to a good home" post in a few months!

Lessons I learned from Mercy

I need to begin this blog with a HUGE disclaimer. I am NOT a cat person. I really am not. I can hardly stand cats. In fact (as MANY would tell you), I might have even been heard saying, "The only good cat is a dead cat." I really do not like cats. Okay, finished with the disclaimer. Here's the story:

About two weeks ago, a stray cat followed the kids home from a bike ride. What I didn't know then was that it was just the "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" storyline being played out in front of my eyes. As John and I decorated the Christmas tree (something the kids were supposed to be helping with), they sat out on the driveway petting the cat and playing with the cat.

"She's hungry Momma." was the first step in my slippery slide down the hill. I gave in out of love for my babies, not out of any affinity for this cat. We gave her a can of tuna and a saucer of milk. She set up an abode underneath our front porch, and the kids started calling her Lucky. After about two days, it was time for Elijah's tonsil surgery so Riri came out to the country to watch the other kids. She brought along with her a water dish, food dish and a bunch of cat food. I guess that was step two...

I can't remember the exact timeline, it is all so foggy and seems like it was forever, not just a few weeks. Eventually (we theorize because we were leaving her food outside) she got into a scuffle with another animal. One morning we found her face all gashed up and her nose bleeding. We let her move into the garage to keep her safe and let her heal from whatever predator had attacked her. John and I rationalized, we can have an outside cat and not be cat people. At that point, I announced that Lucky was a lame name, and we needed a real name. We decided upon Mercy because in our dreams the dog we'll have is named Gracie, and Grace and Mercy go so well together. We moved her food and water into the garage, gave her a camp chair and a few blankets to sleep on, and opened the door during the day for her to "do her business."

Our setup became problematic when the weather started turning colder. The day that I found her water bowl frozen solid was the day we knew we were in over our heads. We moved Mercy inside and set her up in the mudroom. In breezed Riri, with a litter box, toys, canned cat food, a brush... all the goodies the spoiling Aunt has right at her fingertips (at least after a quick trip to Target). The kids were in heaven. They would sit and pet Mercy forever.

Mercy was a GREAT cat. She was not like other cats. She wasn't snobby or persnickety. She was friendly and patient. She was great with the kids. She would let Hannah manhandle her and love on her, and she never got mean. She must have been someones cat who had been abandoned or something, because she immediately knew what the liter box was and used it consistently from the beginning. She was a dream cat (if there is such a thing).

We always kinda knew that Mercy was sick. When she first showed up, I told John, this cat just came here looking for somewhere to die. So when we decided to let her come live inside, we determined she would have to take a trip to the vet in order to make sure she wasn't a danger to the children. The vet did not have good news. Likely Mercy had a terminal condition that wasn't treatable, but nothing that could be transmitted to the children. We could try to clear up her infections with antibiotics and keep her for awhile. So we tried. That was Monday.

So there I was (NOT the cat person) squirting antibiotics down this cat's throat twice a day and wiping away her bloody buggers. I mean SERIOUSLY?!?!?! John was humoring me, but I know he was thinking, "Who is this crazy cat lady who has taken over my wife's body?" The medicine seemed to be working. We could hear Mercy sneezing a lot, and she seemed to be clearing some of the mucus from her lungs and nose.

Then yesterday, she climbed in her litter box and wouldn't get out. She sat in there much of the day. It was awful. I explained to the children that she was likely going to die soon, and she knew it. She would let us pet her, but if we tried to pick her up she'd bare her teeth and make a little pitiful sound like, "Please don't. It hurts too much." I was a wreck. The triple assault of watching this creature suffer, realizing I had fallen for this dumb cat and was now going to lose her, and knowing that this would break my babies' hearts was too much for me. I cried all day.

I struggled to find something to do for her. We could not afford to put her down (the vet said it would be nearly $100). No Humane Society would help me because we live in a "non-contracted" area. Part of how we ended up in this jam was because we had called the contracted "dog catcher" guy for Hubbard earlier in this saga, and he never called us back. We prayed for Mercy and that God would help us find a way to help her, and I tried one more time to reach the Hubbard animal guy. Miraculously, I reached his wife. I think my tears helped plead my case for once. She assured me he would call as soon as he returned from work. Mercy left with the animal man at 4:10 p.m. last night. We were devastated but not left without many lessons learned.

1. Then after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death (James 1:15) I am not saying Mercy was sin; however, I am saying, if you don't want to have a cat.... if you don't want to be a "cat person".... do NOT (I repeat) do NOT feed a stray cat. Don't even pet it. Don't even look at it. The parallels here are too clear not to be applied! If you don't want to have sex before your married, don't take your clothes off. If you don't want to become addicted to drugs, don't smoke even your first joint. If you don't want to cheat on your husband, don't spend any time with a man you are not married to. If you want to avoid sin, do NOT entertain it! Don't give it even one second of your time. Because if you let it get just one tiny little paw into your front yard, before you know it that thing will be sleeping on your couch, and you'll be wiping the bloody mucus from it's nose. Trust me! I know some of you are saying, "Not me! I hate cats!" or "Not me! I love my spouse!" or "Not me! I don't drink, smoke or chew or go with boys who do!" But let me tell you: If it can happen to the greatest cat hater of all, it can happen to you.

2. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. (Isaiah 55:9) God sure works in mysterious ways I tell you. Me falling for this cat reminded me of this unexpected friendship that came my way. I had determined in my heart to hate this girl. She had taken my place. She was the new (and MUCH better) cheer coach at HCS, and I was still bitter about having my job, my calling, my ministry ripped from my grip. But in breezed Shannon Michelle and it was all over. She and I "clicked" like peanut butter and jelly. Still now... ten years later she is one of my BFFs. God works in mysterious ways. I never thought I'd love a cat. But I did, and because I kept my heart open to the unexpected I gleaned a lot of good things.

3. Why you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. (James 4:14) Mercy really seemed to be on the upswing this week. Then all of a sudden she veered suddenly and started declining rapidly. Life is like that too you know. All is going well and then without much warning, it is lying shattered at your feet. We had such a short time with Mercy before she was gone, but we enjoyed every moment with her and we loved her and gave her a little taste of Heaven before she succumbed to her illness. So the lesson I take from that??? Suck up every second like it is your last. Savor every moment you have with the ones you love because before you know it your time may be up. I have had two relationships like this. Two very intense friendships that came seemingly out of nowhere and overtook my life. Two "BFFs" who became indispensable within a matter of minutes and then after not very long left my life with a heart-shattering "BAM!" I have really learned to just be grateful for every second I have... with Mercy, with my friends, and with my family. Because I know that sickness, death, or betrayal can rip those things from your grip in an instant, and I never want to be left regretting the fact that I didn't cherish what I had when it was there.

4. The King will reply, "I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me." (Matthew 25:40) Being kind can never be wrong. It just can't. It might hurt in the end. You might end up with your heart torn to shreds and bleeding profusely, but it can NEVER be wrong to be kind. Recently, I made a kind gesture that was rebuked and thrown right back in my face. At first, I was so angry. The sting of the rejection really hurt. But then I realized, I wouldn't change one thing I had done because I had been kind and that was a good thing. Right now as I sit here a little bruised and battered from having known and loved Mercy, I realize that I wouldn't change one thing. It hurt like heck to let her go, and it hurts like heck still as just a few moments ago I had to console Elijah through a storm of tears after he asked, "Mom, why did Mercy have to go to sleep?" But I am glad we were kind to this tiny little creature. I am glad we gave her love and warmth and food for her last days on this earth.

Okay so I'm finally to the end of this long-winded blog. Please do not mistake me, I am still NOT a cat person. However, I think I may amend my famous saying, "The only good cat is Mercy."