I'm an Idiot (I mean optimist)

Why do I ALWAYS believe the best in people? Why do I get these lofty ideas that THIS time will be different? They won't let me down. A Christian wouldn't do THAT to me. They've learned their lesson. They care about me too much to make that choice. Normal people aren't that mean.

The truth is much of the time, people WILL let you down. A Christian would do THAT. It takes a LONG time before people learn their lessons. Even when someone cares about you they can make BAD choices. Finally, normal people are sinful, vile creatures... just like me.

What to do when faced with FILTH of another person's act? A boss, a friend, a spouse, a family member...

Well first of all you do the forgiveness thing.... yada yada yada. I'm not being flip here because I don't believe in forgiveness. I'm being flip because forgiveness is like Christianity 101. I've got that one down. In fact, many people in my life are on me because I am TOO forgiving. They purport there are certain things that should NOT be forgiven and/or that I forgive a little too easily and completely.

Here's where I get hung up.... I get hung up on wallowing in the WHY of it all. Why did they let me down? Why did they do it again? And WHAT can I do to avoid it in the future. See there is a very dark side to the fact that I am very good at taking personal responsibility for things. I often find myself slipping into blaming myself when things happen to me, even things that are CLEARLY out of my control.

I'm sitting here right now staring at a situation. I keep saying to myself, "Maybe this time will be different. Maybe this time will be different." But deep down in my soul I know, I just KNOW it will not. This person is going to make the same poor choice again. They will not have learned a THING from their past actions. [I promise with ALL of me if they surprise me I will admit it here. I swear I will.] But even though my soul is so sure it will turn out exactly the way it always has in the past, my heart keeps whispering, "Not this time. Not this time." I guess it's good that I'm able to be optimistic, but it feels like I'm just an idiot.

This past summer I faced a similar situation. I could see the writing on the wall. I knew that an ICKY thing was coming my way. Yet there I sat believing the best, trusting and hoping. Even while all the evidence was being laid out in front of me, I continued on in my idiotic (optimistic) hopeful ways. Firmly and surely, God kept advising my soul, "Do NOT put your trust in men. Put your trust in ME." He kept saying it to me over and over. At first, I thought that meant I was supposed to trust Him to keep the bad thing from happening, but then the ax fell, and I saw the truth. He was there to pick up the pieces from what man had broken. He was there holding me the whole time. Before, during, and after, my life fell apart. He will NEVER let me down. I feel Him saying this to me again today, in this much more minor situation. The path that is chosen this time may be similar to the one that has always been chosen before. Man may let me down AGAIN, but God NEVER, EVER will. God will be there when the sin of this world has been spewed all over me. God will be there to pick up the pieces of my shattered hopes. God will be there in the life-altering and merely annoying disappointments. He will be THERE.

While sometimes I think it would be easier if I prepared for the worst, so the good things were a pleasant surprise. I guess I'm mostly glad that God has got this Idiot (I mean optimist) in the palm of His hand. I'm glad that no matter what man might do to me, He will NEVER let me down.

"And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." Matthew 28:20b