While I realize this song (and likely the corresponding blog) holds a bit of morbidity, I can't help but be a bit consumed by it. Whenever this one lyric approaches, I well up with tears and my heart swells.
well... I've had just enough time...
That is what this blog will be about; however, first a little introduction....
I'm not exactly sure what this song is supposed to be about. It is a little morbid, even bordering on creepy. However, I was pulled in by the haunting melody and the BEAUTIFUL voice singing these lyrics that didn't really apply to me. This young girl who I imagined to be freshly beautiful (google proved my imaginations to be true) singing about if she dies and her mother has to bury her seemed like it didn't really apply... see I'm NOT young, and fresh beauty left me about a decade ago, leaving stretch marks, wrinkles and gray hair in its place. But when she sang, The sharp knife, of a short life... Well, I've had just enough time. It got me thinking.
I've had just enough time. I have had SUCH a blessed life. I'm sure MANY of you who have read this blog for a long time are thinking WHAT?!?!?!? doesn't she remember brain surgery? doesn't she remember being unable to pay the bills? doesn't she remember her baby is going under the knife in a month?
I remember all those things. I really do. But here's the thing.... I don't regret the bad things in my life. I don't shun the struggles. I embrace EVERY experience I have had, and all those to come because of this: without the sad times the happy times aren't as great.... without heartbreak, love isn't as deep... without strife, peace isn't as welcome.... without pain, life just isn't life.
Back to my blog point: I've had just enough time! If I die before this blog is even finished, I have had enough time. Some people have a "Bucket List" of things they hope to do before they die. I've tried writing those, but I always get off track because I get more consumed with writing the things I've already done that I can cross off my "Bucket List"... see while I guess I have things that it would be cool if I did before I die, I'm so much more excited by the things I've already accomplished. As a result my Bucket List looks something like this:
*go to college; have fun AND get a degree
*be a teacher; do my best to mold young lives
*be a coach; pass on a love for cheerleading, fitness, and nutrition to young girls while making a difference in their lives
*fall MADLY in love, so in love that it makes sense to NO ONE else on the planet and CLING to that love come hell or high water
*be a MOM.. be a MOM... be a MOM!!!!
*have at least one girl and all the pink, and the bows, and the pom poms that come with that
*TRAVEL to Europe, Mexico, and the Bahamas... visit every country on my continent... go on a mission trip
*be Jesus to as many people as I can: love the unlovable, forgive the unforgivable, give till it hurts, live like He might come back tomorrow
*own a dog (this one has come with a few more strings than anticipated... Kiah spent the night in the kennel AGAIN last night because she ran away again)
*have a house (FINE! I don't own this one yet, but I will, someday, PROMISE!)
I guess that there are still things to be done, places to be seen, accomplishments to make (WRITE A BOOK!!!!!) but I am so very happy with my life, and If I die young (as young as 42 can be that is) I would die happy and satisfied that I have had a GREAT life... cuz I've had just enough time.
I hope you've had just enough time too...
I like your take on the song. I personally HATE the song but that is intricately linked with what was going on in my life and where I was the first time I heard it. You have given me something new to think about when I hear it and for that, I am grateful. It still isn't on my top 50 list but maybe now when I hear it I will smile and think of you and think of what has gone well in our lives. :)
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