Emily Rose

On July 4, 2001, my dear friend went to the hospital, full-term and in labor; however, she did not leave the hospital with a baby in her arms. Her dear Emily Rose never got to breathe one breath on this earth. She went straight to the arms of her Jesus. While those of us who have lived on this sin-ridden, painful, imperfect planet realize that Emily Rose did not miss ONE thing by proceeding straight to the arms of her Savior, that knowledge is not of much comfort to her dear mother whose arms STILL ache daily to hold that little girl.

Now each year as the end of June draws near and that familiar red, white and blue starts to show up EVERYWHERE, my dear friend is not met with a swell of pride because she lives in a free country or a rise of excitement over the prospect of a day off and picnics and fireworks. The dread builds in her stomach somewhere after Father's Day, and the memory of the anniversary she has to commemorate rises like bile in the back of her throat. Without even conscious thought to it, as if her body knows what her mind is trying not to dwell on, she walks in a fog until the 5th arrives.

Friends and family try to comfort her, yet all attempts seem to fail. Many of us fear bringing up Emily will hurt her, and it will! But failing to bring up Emily hurts so much more. We tiptoe about trying to help but we can do nothing. The only thing that will relieve her plight is finally getting to hold Emily in her arms... but Heaven seems so far away!

The pain will never truly fade. Her arms will always ache. She moves on, but a part of her heart has already left this earth and resides far, far away in Heaven. Nothing can change that.

This blog isn't just a tribute to Emily Rose and to her mother, my dear friend. It is also encouragement to some of my readers. Maybe I don't know your EXACT struggle... Maybe I don't know your EXACT date...  But many of you have a date like this... A date that commemorates the day your life fell apart.... A date that commemorates the day that everything you knew about life and love and God Himself somehow shifted right beneath your feet revealing a brand new understanding about the reality of this life.

I have a few things to say to those of you who can relate:

1. God loves you. He hasn't forgotten you. He knows your hurt. He knows how that day grabs your gut. He was RIGHT THERE when your heart was torn in two and HE LOVES YOU!

2. Life goes on. You know what? This point kinda sucks because life goes on. In some ways, we don't want it to. In some ways, we were hurt so badly that it seems like the earth should have shook violently or something. There should be a huge fissure in the crack of the earth that symbolizes the crack in our heart, but life goes on, and this is actually GOOD. Even if it doesn't feel like it!  Emily Rose's momma has three other beautiful, amazing, SWEET, and godly babies and a WONDERFUL husband who need her here on earth and so she bides her time, marking her awful anniversary, realizing that life goes on as icky and as great as that revelation is.

3. Good can come from evil. Even though I don't know each and every situation those of you who are reading this are referencing as you read, I can say with ALL certainty that ALL THINGS WORK TOGETHER FOR GOOD FOR THOSE WHO LOVE THE LORD! You might say, "Jami!  How dare you say a baby dying in the womb could work together for good!" But guess what??? It DID!  See several years after Emily went to Heaven a beautiful baby boy was born into that family, and you know what??? He would likely not have been conceived if their family had already numbered 5!  And guess what I know that I know that I KNOW if you just looked closely at your dreaded day you could find SOMETHING good that came from it.  Please do not mistake me, I'm not thinking that anyone would ever be GLAD that Emily died.... I'm just saying, good did spring from that awful situation and it sprung from yours as well.


In closing, I just want to say a few words to Emily Rose up in Heaven.

Emily Rose,

Your momma loves you DEARLY. She longs for nothing else than to hold you close in her arms. The day you died a little piece of her heart went along with you, but you know what??? she is an AMAZING woman and she had SO much heart left that she loves your daddy and your brothers and your sister with WILD abandon, and she is a GREAT friend to many and she still has enough heart left to love them too. I know that missing you still rips her heart apart. I have heard her tears and listened to her grieving. But I also know that one day (soon to you, but not soon enough to us) she will meet you up there in Heaven and she will hold you close to her heart, and you will never EVER be apart again.

Say, "Hi," to Jesus for me... okay??

Jami