Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Penelope... my new hero

The other night we watched Penelope on Netflix. What a great flick! We watched it at the end of what was a very rough weekend for me. I had been struggling all weekend. I was feeling down and worthless. Just kinda having a bad hair day all weekend. I know people mean well, but it is really stressing me out to hear, "Jami, you've got to take care of yourself too." I know this, but right now I just do NOT have time for that. I am just flying by the seat of my pants around here, trying to make it as best I can. The most recent comment I received was coupled with a reminder of how fat I am and how much I need to lose weight, that "encouragement" to take care of myself nearly put me right over the edge. As if worrying about how to take care of a sick husband, how to pay the bills when he has no income, how to homeschool and work and keep up with the house is not enough.... Now in addition to that I have to worry about the fact that I am fat and I need to take time to lose weight! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!

So there we sat Sunday night watching Penelope. (I'm going to try to do this without any spoilers... hope I can make it understandable without them.) The main character is a girl who because of a curse has a pig snout. I was only there just looking for a little escape from reality. I didn't expect to hear a sermon from a movie character sporting a pig snout for a nose. There were two quotes from this movie that ROCKED my world.

1. "I like myself the way I am!" This hit me HARD after spending a whole weekend moping around hating what I see in the mirror, imagining how much better my life would be if I just had the body I had ten years ago. When Penelope the pig-snouted proclaimed, "I like myself the way I am!" something in my heart JUMPED and you know what I realized??? I like MYSELF the way I am too! I like this body! It is strong and hardy. It helped me conceive, carry around, and nourish four healthy babies. It is flexible and not very wrinkly. You know what else? I like more about the "way I am too"... I like that I "lay it all out there." I like being transparent and sharing my worries, needs, wants, victories and defeats. I like that I am ridiculously sensitive and that the troubles of other people frequently drive me to my knees and bring tears to my eyes. I like that I forgive too easily, that I believe the best no matter WHAT, that I take on WAY too much for any mortal to accomplish. "I like myself the way I am!"

2. It's not the power of the curse - it's the power you give the curse. That was definitely one of those "things that make you go hmmmmm" for me. How many of the things we struggle with are struggles because of the power WE GIVE THEM? I know for me much of what I struggle with: insecurities, self-loathing, worries, fears... I GIVE those things the power they hold over me. I make them looming giants. I put myself in bondage to them. It's not the power of the curse - it's the power you give the curse.

So once again I sat down to mindlessly watch a movie with my kiddos and I walked away with some lessons and even a soothing balm to my soul.

4 comments:

  1. Great post Jamie!! I am always amazed at how consistently you write and how you always "try" to be positive in the midst of struggle and chaos.

    But even more than that, I like the two little lessons you learned from this movie. Makes me want to watch it now!! I agree that sometimes we let ourselves go and we should cut back (my plight at the moment), but deep down we NEED to "like" who we are no matter what! And that should not be our focus to the detriment of our family situations - especially yours. You go girl! :)

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  2. I love Penelope and I love you!

    I love both quotes and they both rocked my world. Why is it that we cut ourselves down constantly? Not that we should listen to God and wise people when they give advice but really we don't need any help in getting down on ourselves!

    I think it is the power we give the curse that makes us paralyzed to do God's work! SO I work to be thankful and let God shape my "curses" for HIS glory.

    Love you always and now wanting to watch penelope again ;) Can hardly remember it but I think I loved it. . . !

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  3. i love that movie ant jamie it is so cool and sad imagine having a pignose

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