He made it through the rain....

He kept his world protected...
He made it through the rain ...

Well today was exhausting and grueling for all involved. John left for work at 6:15 a.m. Because of his restrictions, he was not allowed to return to his regular job at his building. He was given a "light duty" assignment. This was a bit disappointing to John as he misses his building and the people there; however, eternally grateful to be earning a paycheck again and to be allowed (by MU) to return to work in spite of his restrictions, he cheerfully plodded on at the boring task of inspecting fire extinguishers all day. He returned home from work at 4 p.m. sore and wiped out, but with a smile on his face. The children (and I) FLEW into his arms, grateful to have him back after what seemed like such a long day without him. Noah said (15 minutes after waking up this morning), "This place is boring without daddy." I had to admit I agreed with him wholeheartedly.

So day number 1 is under our belts. I sometimes cannot believe that we are actually at the end of this ordeal. I know... I know... the doctors say that John may not be back to "normal" for another four months; however, I am rejoicing over semi-normal and glad to be this far.

When I look back and think of all the things we have overcome in the past eight weeks, I am in awe over the goodness of God and His people.

Jehovah Rophe: the God who heals! I vividly remember the debilitating fear over the fact that they were cutting my husbands skull open and removing part of it. I remember a point during the actual surgery when Amber left to go smoke a cigarette, and I sat there literally rocking back and forth and chanting soothing snippets of Bible verses in my head. I remember sitting there when he was unconscious and praying till I felt I would sweat blood that he would just wake up. I remember when he awoke in MISERABLE amounts of pain and I could do nothing about it. I remember not too many weeks ago fighting with him to the point of nearly killing him just to get him to wake up, get out of bed, and EAT something! The physical healing that God has already brought to this man's body boggles my mind.

Jehovah Jireh: our Provider I have taken flack for being too open about our financial strains; however, I need to bring them up once more because I really, truly do not know if people get the FULL picture of what an AMAZING miracle God has already done in that area. John and I both work; however, he brings in about 71% of our total income. So we went from 100% to 29% for the past two months. We have NO savings. In fact at the point at which he stopped being able to work, we were not even caught up on our bills. We have so far made it through two months without any services being shut off (well sorta but that was just a clerical error cuz I didn't know when it was due by), without going hungry, without being late on even one rent check.... does anyone else realize how AWESOME it is that God made 29% into 100%???? I mean SERIOUSLY now. John really and truly talked about just trying to live without the surgery because he could NOT see how we could go without his salary for that long when we were already behind to start out. He literally talked about risking his life because of money worries. God QUICKLY stamped out that silly idea by DRASTICALLY increasing his pain and symptoms and making it impossible for him to work even before the surgery was done, and then God MOVED and did some mighty and AMAZING things and we feel humbled and blessed to have been the ones to receive such a miracle. I am sorry to those who take offense at hearing these kind of details about our finances, but I cannot let a miracle of these proportions go by without proclaiming it from the mountain tops! Our God reigns in the HUGE things like giving a human being the wisdom to cut open someones brain and offer him healing from miserable symptoms and in the medium things like turning 29% salary into 100% salary for two long months and in the little things like a wonderful, beautiful little angel showing up at my door with lavender smelling frivolities to reduce my stress and make me feel like a girl again. Our God reigns!

Jehovah Shalom: my Peace. If I close my eyes I can still feel the stress from the worst part of this ordeal. I can feel the weight of the zillions of tasks I had to complete all on my own. I remember having to wake all night long to give John meds. I remember having to work and school the children and nurse John and still finish unpacking. I remember having to all of a sudden take over paying John's share of the bills too and not being sure what his ones even were. I remember sleepless nights, lying in bed with the worries of this dark valley weighing heavy on my heart like there was an elephant right there in my bedroom who had taken a seat on my chest. I remember that day driving home from the hospital after John had been discharged. I literally thought I was the one stroking out at that point. My chest was tightening, my vision was weird in my one eye, I couldn't take a deep breath. I wasn't sure if I was having those symptoms because all the stress had finally gotten to me or if the power of suggestion from him just experiencing them was playing with my head. I really and truly do NOT know how I lived through this experience. It was THE single most difficult thing I have EVER in my life had to do. I was pushed to the limits of EVERY boundary I had: physical, emotional, spiritual, mental. I fought battles with well-meaning but BRUTAL loved ones. I fought battles with friends. I fought battles with John and the kids and the devil. I do not know how to state it emphatically enough: our God is SO good. It is because of Him and Him alone that I am still alive right now.

So here I am feeling I am nearing the end of this ordeal, and I want to come up with a poignant and meaningful scripture to close with, but this is all that is going through my head right now... It's an old children's song we used to sing in Sunday school.... do you know it? Then sing it along with me:

God is so good
God is so good
God is so good
He's so good to me!

In closing, keep on praying please. Pray for:
*John's physical needs:
-ability to continue managing his pain while working
-won't overdo it at work
-will have patience until he is allowed to return to his regular position
-ability to return to his part-time job soon
*Our collective stress level:
-haggling out the details of all of these medical bills to ensure they are correct is wearing at Jami
-scheduling and rescheduling and getting to all of the remaining doctor appointments is tough
*Finances:
-still have to make it through November on the grace of God
(returning to MU gets us part of the way there hope to be back to McD and 100% salary in 2 to 3 weeks or at least by the end of November)