Another terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.....

I have to chronicle this day... It is another one of those, "You MUST be making this UP!" kinda days.  But with God as my witness I swear that every word I am about to type is true. In fact there are even a couple of private, non-sharable things in ADDITION to all that I'm putting out there for the whole world to read that take the day to an even deeper depth of despair.

This day started much the same as the rest.... I awoke at the butt-crack of dawn to take John to work. He has had a HORRIBLE week. Hasn't felt right all week. VERY VERY dizzy... One day, he walked into a wall which caused enough concern that I called him in sick that day. Before he got out of bed this morning, I asked if I should call him in sick. He said, "No." One more time when we were halfway to the bus stop, I asked, "Should we turn around and go home?" He said, "No." He wanted to tough it out. He could work.

I came home and started RACING through my day... tons of work leftover from the day before... a bunch of stuff I needed to do for cheer..... all the while directing the kids through their chores and independent lesson parts.

Around 11ish I think it was, I got a call from John. He was not feeling well AT ALL. So dizzy he could hardly function, bad stomach ache, horrible headache.  I told him to get on the next bus and COME HOME!  He had his momma come and get him. She brought him ALL THE WAY home.

I continued on trying to get my work done, making dinner before we left for cheer, now nursing him, etc... Fielded at least three calls from the dr.'s office and four from the pharmacy. Took in some bad news that will make my life even MORE hectic. Hopped in the car to head for cheer. A little more bad news came my way (oh and SEVERAL more dr/pharmacy calls).

After cheer I ran one of my cheerleaders home and then returned to the school to wait for the boys' b-ball practice to end. I pulled the kids out of practice 10 minutes early to try to make it back to Hartford to pick up all of John's prescriptions before the pharmacy closed. All the way there we prayed and prayed and PRAYED... "Please God let us get there before the pharmacy closes!" When I realized we were going to be a few minutes past closing time, I called and they said they would keep the pharmacy open for me! WOW!

I flew into Walmart just a few minutes after 9, grabbed John's scrips and then as long as I was there, grabbed a few groceries and the rest of the Christmas presents I needed.

On the way home from Walmart less than 5 miles from my house, my tire blew. So there I was one of my top 3 worst nightmares coming true: stranded in between two cornfields on a dark country road. [In high school I made the mistake of watching Children of the Corn... driving in the country night has NEVER been easy for me, and this was what I had ALWAYS feared.] But here's the best part: I was stranded just miles from my house, but my hubby couldn't even come help me. Even if he decided to try to drive the broken down Buick (which we aren't sure even runs anymore) ILLEGALLY because he currently is not allowed to drive, he prolly couldn't even get down the driveway because he is SO dizzy!

I sat there with the cornfields closing in trying to figure out what to do. I called the tow truck.... (ohmigosh!!!!! Collete from Reliable is an angel walking around with skin on!!!!!) called John... texted my sisters and mom... and tried to call my neighbor. Sent her one cryptic text, "Can you call if you're up... stranded on Madison."  I was talking to my sister about how this could REALLY not be happening. There is no way this day could be real! I'm likely walking around in a bad dream I just can't seem to wake up from. When all of a sudden over the hill came the first pair of headlights I had seen all night. I said, "Jodi, pray this is my neighbor." The lights approached and then STARTED TO SLOW!!! It was! It was! It WAS my neighbor!

She took Noah and Jeremiah back to the house (they were btw TERRIFIED... Jeremiah had his hands over his face and was praying the whole time. Noah kept asking me to turn the radio up, attempting to appear strong but very, VERY scared of being stranded in the dark.) Then she even came back to keep me company until the tow truck arrived (she's heard about my cornfield phobia MANY TIMES).

Collette towed me back home so we could unload the minivan and then drove off with our only real form of transportation attached to her tow truck. I don't really have words to explain how vulnerable I feel right now. I literally can't even drive someone to the hospital if they need it. I am terrified and left virtually alone as John is completely unconscious (the way he has been most of the day from his ailment).

After being dropped off I busied myself with emptying my Walmart bags. I lifted the first one off the ground and it split apart, spilling its contents all over the floor... and that was when the tears started threatening to fall. I held them back until the kids were in bed... but now the typing of this terrible, horrible, no good, very bad story is dragging them out of me.

So here... in my bed... pecking away at my laptop... tears STREAMING down my face and hope nowhere to be found... Here's what I have to say... here's what is in my heart:

I know... my Redeemer lives... I know my Redeemer lives... All of creation testifies... this life within me cries... I know my Redeemer lives...

I don't know why that is the song that is on my heart right now. Maybe because in the midst of all this chaos... in the midst of a blown tire that may have resulted in a damaged rim... in the midst of messed up anti-seizure meds that have left my husband foggy and unable to function... in the midst of the ick and filth and mess and YUCK of this day... I KNOW MY REDEEMER LIVES!


Nothing Satan can throw at me will change my mind. Nothing that happens to me can alter that fact...

I KNOW MY REDEEMER LIVES!


Goodnight everyone.

God used Pandora???

I recently downloaded the Pandora app to my smart phone. I'm slowly but surely getting the hang of it. I guess you type in a song (or artist, or genre) you like and it creates a like-minded "station" for you to listen to. Every once in a while you have to endure a few commercials, but other than that it is free. I downloaded it for the purpose of working out. I didn't want to go purchase a bunch of new workout songs from iTunes, and I didn't want to listen to the SAME old music EVERY workout. So I got Pandora.

Yesterday I found the genre search function and "created" a radio station Contemporary Christian, and POW! it was like God Himself was choosing the songs for that "station" to play and I got a few messages from God while I sweated my butt off tackling the EVIL stair treadmill.  Each song that played spoke to my heart and soul... Each song brought me a word from God (some for others but mostly for me).  Here's the playlist that resulted and the lessons that came with it:

Get Back Up - Toby Mac
I <3 this song!  I just love every word of these lyrics! In fact, I've even blogged about it before. But today the message related to my new fitness plan. I have been doing SO well working out. I've been "on the wagon" for about three weeks now with a goal to get to the gym five or six days per week. I'm doing High Intensity Interval Training, weight lifting, and stretching. The first and second weeks, I worked out at the gym five days, did a stretch only workout one day and took one day off. This week has been not as good. My workload TRIPLED this week and I have been SWAMPED. In addition to Gramma Hilly being in and out of the hospital and preparing for Hannah's surgery, it has been an INSANE asylum around here!  Today is the last day in my workout week and so far I have worked out at the gym only three times, taken two days fully off, and done abs and a full body stretch on the other day.  I was feeling VERY discouraged and loathing the stench of failure in my nostrils when Toby Mac SCREAMED at me from the ear buds connected to my Smart Phone:  We lose our way... get back up again... its never too late... to get back up again... with each repetition of the chorus I was more and more encouraged and by the end of the song I was ready to battle the beast of getting back in shape ferociously again.

Call on Jesus - Nicole C. Mullen
This song makes my heart SWELL with encouragement. When I call on Jesus... mountains are gonna fall... But yesterday this song was for someone else.  Someone I have been praying for all week. Someone who made an AMAZING choice, lying down her own desires in the name of doing what He was calling her to. Someone whose heart is breaking from the pain of what he asked her to lie down.  Standing in front of her is this mountain of sadness, uncertainty and pain... And I want to tell her: When I call on Jesus.... mountains are gonna fall... and I want her to hear He'll move Heaven and earth to come rescue me when I fall.  And any of the rest of you with a mountain in front of you, I want you to hear this message When I call on Jesus... all things are possible... with Jesus on your side, you can DO IT!

You Never Let Go - Matt Redman
Blogged about this one before too... This time is for my family.... We are walking through a very tough time with my Gramma. She is in the end of her life. I don't know when she will pass (only God does)... this year... next... but I do know that we are losing her a little more each day. These lyrics soothed my soul that is mourning each tiny loss of her memory Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death... Your perfect love is casting out fear... And even when I'm caught in the middle of the storms of this life... I won't turn back... I know you are near.... Mom... everyone... He's right there. He sees your pain. He knows your loss. Don't turn back!  Walk right next to Gramma all the way to the end... and KNOW that He is near.

You Love Me Anyway - Sidewalk Propehts
This week the wretchedness of my sin reared its ugly head again. In a heated "discussion" with someone, after maintaining my patience and godliness for quite some time, I snapped, lost it, and BLEW UP! I felt justified. I had held my tongue for a long time. I avoided blaming the other person. I took responsibility and apologized for unintentional slights that I really did not NEED to take blame for. So I was RIGHT when I finally drew the line in the sand! It was okay that I finally tried to STOP THE MADNESS and that I told that person OFF!  Until late Thursday night, as I read through my blog, and God poured CONVICTION on me with my own words. Such a strong wave of conviction that I nearly vomited. I immediately composed an e-mail repenting through my tears. Yet the guilt of my wretchedness was still lingering like that acidy feeling after you puke. This final song in my little Pandora Treadmill Time with God poured oil over my guilty conscience. I am the thorn in Your crown... But You love me anyway... I am the sweat from Your brow... But You love me anyway... I am the nail in Your wrist... But You love me anyway... I am Judas' kiss... But You love me anyway... See , I am the man who yelled out from the crowd for Your blood to be spilled on this earth shaking ground... Yes then, I turned away with a smile on my face... With this sin in my heart tried to bury Your grace... And then alone in the night, I still called out for You... So ashamed of my life, my life, my life..


BUT YOU LOVE ME ANYWAY




So, you might ask, "What are you SAYING today Jami???"

1. Get your BUTT back up!  I don't care what wagon you have fallen off of: fitness, addiction, sexual sin, lying, temper.. I don't care!  GET UP!

2. With Jesus on your side, you can do ANYTHING!

3. God is right THERE! Through sickness, death, divorce, loss, fear, unemployment, a failing economy, surgery on your baby girl's eyes... God is RIGHT there!

4. He LOVES you anyway.  I always tell my babies:  "I love you when you're good. I love you when you're bad. I love you when you're clean. I love you when you're dirty. I LOVE YOU!"  He LOVES you!

Have a GREAT day everyone!  And check out that thing called Pandora  maybe God will use it to give you a word today too.