More on forgiveness and forgetting....

I didn't have much time to blog the other day when I posted the link to Pastor's Aaron's sermon. I don't really have more time today, but when something BURNS on my heart, I gotta write it out.

forgive - to give up resentment of or claim to compensation for

forget - to lose the remembrance of: be unable to think of or recall

First of all, just to be clear, does everyone know that the Bible doesn't tell us to forgive and forget? The Bible's directives regarding forgiveness include:

*forgive seventy times seven
*forgive as your Father in Heaven forgives

But the Bible does NOT tell us to forgive and forget.

Here's the deal folks: forgiveness is NOT forgetting. Forgiveness is letting go of our hurt and anger over the injustice caused. Forgiveness is letting go of the slight, betrayal, offense. Forgiveness says you don't have to pay me back for this sin any more. You don't have to make this up to me. Forgiveness is NOT forgetting the slight, betrayal, offense happened. Forgiveness is not removing it from your memory (which is impossible).

God forgives our sins. God tosses them as far as the east is from the west. But God doesn't allow us to forget them because we need to remember. Just the same, we should forgive those who have sinned against us, but that doesn't include forgetting!

1. We need to REMEMBER so we REMEMBER how much we have been forgiven of. REMEMBERING the mercy God (and others) has shown us makes us grateful and increases our love toward them.

2. We need to REMEMBER so we learn a lesson. Our past failures... The past failures of others.... These things forgiven teach us VALUABLE lessons. As I stated on Monday, REMEMBERING that a hot stove burns, helps us LEARN not to touch it again. Also, REMEMBERING that I have no self-control when it comes to chocolate helps me LEARN not to keep chocolate in the house. REMEMBERING that a situation led to sin helps us LEARN to avoid it in the future. REMEMBERING that a friend blabbed a secret we begged them not to share, helps us REMEMBER not to reveal so much next time.

3. We need to REMEMBER so we can be used. The best comfort in pain and agony comes from someone who has walked the road we are on before us. The best comfort to someone struggling with the pain from a broken marriage, comes from another who has been there. The best comfort to someone walking down the dark path of the loss of a child, comes from another who has been there. The best comfort to someone battling an addiction, comes from another who has been there.

So here's the deal...

Do you need to forgive others?  YES! How often? INFINITY times INFINITY.

Do you need to forget what they did? NO! Absolutely not. You can't.

I look at it like this... most of the time when you forgive a slight it couldn't have been "made right" anyways. Sorry doesn't make it better. If I punch you in the face as hard as I can, sorry doesn't take away the pain, the redness or the swelling. Sorry doesn't make it better. If I say sorry, it doesn't magically erase the fact that it ever happened. If I say sorry I'm saying, "I wish I could go back and NOT do that the second time." And when you forgive me you are saying, "I let go of it. I won't make you pay it back." (The funny thing about it is OFTEN there is NO way that it could be paid back anyways.) There is also NO way it can be forgotten. The next time I lift my hand up in a fist aimed at your face you're going to flinch!  You should! It's called self-preservation. AND the next time a friend gets punched in the face you are going to be able to say, "I remember how that felt. I hated that!"

Forgiving is GOOD for you and the person who slighted you. Bitterness, resentment, anger held onto... these things are a cancer eating away at the bones.

Forgetting is IMPOSSIBLE so stop trying. Instead embrace it. Remember the lessons your pain has taught you. Remember the pain and use that to help others. Finally, REMEMBER how much you too have been forgiven of!