A blast from the past....

Last night was like a blast from the past... the past of last fall... John was propped up on every pillow in the house... All night long he groaned and grunted just to get the strength to roll over... It was just like the days after he regained consciousness from surgery. The doctor recently prescribed a muscle relaxing gel to be applied to his neck muscles. Last night before bed when I was putting it on for him I gasped at the tightness and knots I felt in his muscles. That was NOT like that a day ago.

We are not sure what caused this set back, but I can tell you that not only has the pain been excruciating (the muscle spasming is all the way down his back, last night the pain was making him dizzy, and all this spasming is causing headaches to add more pain to the situation). However, on top of all that is the discouragement which is heaped heavily upon his shoulders. He is so VERY discouraged that he is STILL suffering the effects of this brain surgery. At his last neurosurgeon appointment, Dr. Ahuja told him this may just be the way it is the rest of his life! I say, "Nay! Nay! I serve a bigger God then that!" So I needed to rally the troops and say, "PLEASE pray!"

1. Pray for relaxing of muscle spasming

2. Pray for relief of pain

3. Pray for elimination of headaches

4. Pray for the shroud of discouragement to be lifted

While I am updating you all, I should probably make you aware of one other situation that is discouraging and in need of prayer. Ever since the surgery, John's memory has been VERY bad. I keep teasing him that he has a slippery brain now, but in all actuality it is not really a laughing matter. The doctor is sending him for an 8-hour cognitive test to get a baseline for where he is at right now. I have a theory (which the PA said was actually more likely than I realize... out of the mouths of medical idiots I guess :) My theory is that the constant and continual pain and tightness is so distracting that it is affecting his memory. When you are in a continual state of distraction, you are more likely to forget things.

Finally, wrapping this all into a big jumbled ball, all of this: pain, tightness, less strength then he used to have, inability to remember anything, is VERY hard for John. He has always been a very physically strong and imposing guy. He has always had stamina and strength. Now his superhuman abilities have been reduced to mere mortal, and it is really hard for him to accept. That is adding to the discouragement and pain.

So I guess I'm dragging you all back into the past with me... remember those days... the Kastners hanging by a thread and all of you supporting us with your prayers and love.... well we need those prayers again... We BELIEVE we serve a BIG God and we are TITANIUM strong in the assertion that should not one aspect of John's situation change, we will still love Him. However, we're praying for a few miracles here.

Thanks as always for your support!