Happy Birthday America

It's been six months, today, since I've held my baby in my arms. Six. Long. Months. Yes, I know it's been longer for some moms... Yes, I know some moms will never hold their children again.... I respect that and don't envy them. Yet this is not some mom's post. It's mine.

When he left it was GUT-WRENCHING.... He was returning to a base that was being deployed to what we feared was WW3. Then pandemic hit... and I watched as my friends welcomed their college-aged kids home to be quarantined..... my arms stayed empty.  A travel ban is still in place, and it is looking like we won't get to hold him again until Christmas.... empty.  

We've been doing this Army thing for going on two years, and as PROUD as I am, I am EQUALLY gutted.... empty. Perhaps we made this harder on ourselves by homeschooling. So much closeness... complete control of his curriculum, schedule,  free time.... now he is the property of the US Army... we have no say... he has very little "free" time... or maybe it would be hard regardless. All I know is holidays are different.... special days are bittersweet.... and my arms ACHE to hold my first-born child again. 

This year.... Christmas can't come fast enough. So Happy Birthday America... I'm ready for Christmas.