Parenting adults and almost adults

I hate this season of parenting I'm in... I know... I know... every season has its perks... embrace this before it slips away... you raised them with wings so they could fly... don't give me your platitudes... cuz I know them! I've said them! I actually believe them! But. Still. I hate this season of parenting I'm in.

I hate the letting go. I hate the graduations. I hate the getting bigger. The sweet 16's and the far-aways...  I just hate them!

I've raised these wonderful, beautiful, kind, servant-hearted humans, and I really do WANT to share them with all of you.  But gut-level honesty: it was nice when they were mostly just mine, all here under one roof,  needing and loving and wanting me so much!

Here's the thing... if I've said it once on this blog I've said it a HUNDRED times: as much as I want to I can't #turnbacktime nor can I #slowdowntime #timeisapunk and I can't have ANY effect on its passage.

So here is what I'm trying to do: SLOW DOWN... BREATHE IN... even if the air I'm breathing is heavy with teenage angst and sweaty armpits... zoom in on the SWEET and the TENDER... cuz they ARE there... nestled in between the tough and the traumatic.... last night my fiesty, headstrong, hair-style-a-phob strolled in my room and casually asked, "Mom, can you French braid my hair?" I tried to play it off cool like this happens all the time, but I'm sure she caught the hint of glee in my voice as I asked, "Right now?"

There are so many good moments... there are so many positives... even in my soldier being so far away.... three days in a row his end-of-the-day prayer request has been "to go home."

So I'm done whining. Pulling up my big girl pants and focusing on the good... cuz these four humans of mine... they ARE good!

Rejoice always,
1 Thessalonians 5:16

A reason....

Sometimes God breaks our heart for a reason. Sometimes the devil is just trying to break us. Sometimes our hearts are broken because of a sinful choice we made. But sometimes God breaks our heart for a reason .

When John and I first got married, we moved to Denver for a "fresh start." He got a job right away. I did not. I went on interview after interview. Nada. I remember hearing I didnt get one teaching job, and just THROWING myself across our bed and SOBBING. Why couldn't I find a job? Would I ever teach again? My heart was broken.

After 5 months my mother said to me, "Why dont you move home? Think of this time in Denver as a long honeymoon and just move home."

See there was a reason for my broken heart. God didn't want our roots planted in Colorado. His plan was for us to move home and build our family... our life... here in Wisconsin. So He was willing to allow my pain and heart break for a greater plan.

I urge you today. If there is something you can do to fix the situation that is breaking your heart, ok. Do it. Rage against the devil. Confess a sinful choice. But if you think God may be breaking your heart for a reason, I encourage you to lean into it. Express the pain. Be angry. Be sad. Cry. Scream. Rage. Then wipe your face and move on, keeping your eyes open for the reason. It might take YEARS to see the reason. And actually you might never see that reason this side of Heaven. But trust and be sure. Sometimes God breaks our heart for a reason.

For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.
2 Corinthians 4:17