Thoughts on approval....

Good morning everyone! I'm in the midst of a crazy busy morning... what a WEEKEND we had! My little brother is leaving for basic training tomorrow. Saturday we had a HUGE going away party. Sunday we met for an intimate family dinner. It was a physically demanding and emotionally draining weekend. PLEASE do me a favor and keep my brother in your prayers....

So anywhoos back to this blog... This weekend was BUSY and this morning I have a TON to do. I quickly opened my Internet Explorer but before I could type in the address of my work's remote login site, an article about Tim Tebow caught my eye. I refuse to link to it because the situation irks me. But apparently over the weekend Tim Tebow attended a Yankees game (in Yankee fan attire) and when they showed his picture on the jumbotron, he was booed by the New York audience. [PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD ARE SO RUDE!  Tim Tebow IS a person you know! GRRRRRRR!] 

Anyways my heart cringed and my eyes got a little wet at the thought of it. You know this is just really a young guy, barely more than a kid, who is just trying to play football and be a good example in the process. The thought popped into my head that maybe it didn't even phase him. You know he has GOT to know that God's approval is WAY more important than man's and that God SURE is not booing him.  But then I thought more and realized, disapproval HURTS. No matter what.... No matter when... it hurts. It doesn't matter if we are surer than SURE that we are on the path that God has put our feet on or not... It hurts to feel the sting of other people's disapproval.

We homeschool our children not because it is an easy choice or because it is ALWAYS fun or because we're some sort of conspiracy nuts... We homeschool our children because we feel CALLED by God to make that choice for their education. We homeschool our children because we believe that God wants us to. We pray every, single, solitary year and ask God, "Where do you want these children to be educated?" And for the past few years, He has answered, "At home."  Yet STILL... in spite of the conviction and calling we SOLIDLY believe in, it hurts when people make snide remarks, try to convince us we're not doing right by our children, or simply look down their noses at us like they think we're stupid for homeschooling.

I'm sure it wasn't fun for Noah standing out in the dessert building an ark. I'm sure Moses didn't ENJOY leading the children of Israel through the Red Sea and into the dessert. I'm sure Jesus didn't enjoy the walk to the cross (the Bible says he cried out, "Lord, take this cup from me!"). I'm sure Tim Tebow didn't enjoy being booed this weekend. But in the discomfort of disapproval Noah, Moses, Tim and John & I have the comfort and sureness of knowing that we are following our God's instructions to us. Those instructions do NOT have to make sense to ANYONE else. Sure it helps to have the support of a few valued people. It helps that my sister homeschools too... that my mom continually says, "I'm so glad my grandbabies go to school at home." I would bet my FAVORITE coffee mug that Tim Tebow had some help after being booed. I bet he called Mom and she said, "Tim, don't worry about man's approval." But the help and support, the sureness of your conviction, they don't completely erase the sting of disapproval.

I guess I'm near the end of this blog and I'm not really sure what the lesson is supposed to be??? Maybe several things:

1. choose wisely when you're going to be negative to/about someone... booing, snide remarks, judgmental comments... you could be used as a tool of the devil, discouraging someone who is on the path God set them on!

2. if you're being booed... eyes up! refocus and see what God is saying... seek the approval of God not man... lick your wounds... run to your support system.... but ultimately remind yourself Whose approval matters the most.

3. (shameless plug) remember to pray for Seth Thomas Haugh (leaving for basic training tomorrow) our hearts will be missing a piece until he returns so we would really appreciate your prayers.

My mom the superhero....

***1.5 mile walk to soccer practice = exhausting
***updating Facebook status to read, “Jami is sitting at soccer practice…NOT looking forward to the 1.5 mile walk home.” = easy
***having a mom who is on Facebook and then comes to rescue you with a ride home = priceless

When I answered my cell phone to my mother’s greeting of, “We can come pick you up at soccer practice.” I was a little confused. How did she know I did not want to walk home from practice? Geesh! Maybe I’m not just talking out of my butt when I tell my kids, “Don’t you dare! I know what you’re thinking!” Then she said, “I was just on Facebook…” and I thought, “Praise God for a mom who is on Facebook!” She and my brother Seth hightailed it up to the middle school and saved me from a 1.5 mile walk accompanied by four WHINING children. For two months or so I had been playing drowning victim to my mother’s role of just-in-time lifeguard saving the day. Over and over again, she would breeze in with a cheerful, “Here I am to save the day!” It made me so grateful I have a mom who is so generous and giving. It also really got me thinking, and I realized two things:

1. You are never too old to need your Momma.

2. I am glad that God has a bit of superhero in Him too.

I'm glad that He swoops in proclaiming, “Here I am to save the day!” But is He really saving the day? Or does it just appear that way to us? Does our perspective make us think He is a superhero, when instead He is really a Master Builder with a perfect plan?

This week the kids and I attempted to make a paper mache piñata for school (HUGE failure, but yeah that's not the point of this story). We started with a balloon. The kids kept saying, "How are we going to get the candy in that balloon? It doesn't make sense." I told them, "I have a plan just watch and see." Then we covered it with the wet, messy, gloppy newspaper soaked in paste and they said, "How are we gonna get the candy in there?" I said, "I have a plan just watch and see." As we tied a string around it for the hanger, they said, "How are we going to get the candy in there?" I said, "I have a plan just watch and see." They were so darn focused on getting that silly candy into the piñata that they were missing out on learning the process of making a piñata!

God called my mind towards the struggles in my life. When I say to Him, "How are you going to turn THIS around for your glory?" He says to me, "I have a plan just watch and see." When I bug Him with, "How in the world are you going to get me outta THIS?" He says to me, "I have a plan just watch and see." When I scream at Him, "Why God!?!? Why!?!?" He says to me, "I have a plan just watch and see." But I stay SO focused on the rescue, SO focused on getting to the end of the struggle that I have to wonder if I get all I need to out of the process of the struggle.

So again I ask you: When God "swoops in to save the day," is He really saving the day? I don't think so. I think the "rescue" was a part of His plan all along. It just feels like He gets there in the nick of time from our perspective. All along when we were crying out for help and for understanding, He was saying, "I have a plan; just watch and see."

It is sooooooo very hard, but I am going to start trying harder to get ALL I can out of the process of the struggle. I am still going to cry out to God, "Rescue me! Save me! Show me how this all makes sense!" I am still going to wonder, "How are we gonna get the candy in there?" But I am tired of being so focused on the piñata candy that I don't learn how to make the piñata.

Will you try along with me? Will you try to focus on the process of your struggles? Will you try to stop and look around you and see what God wants you to learn when you are face down in the mud and the mire? He WILL save the day. There is NO doubt about that! So slow down and LEARN while His plot unfolds, because He has a plan; just watch and see.

Thankful Blog Part 4 - My Family

I have the most amazing family in the world! We aren't perfect, and trust me we have got our CRAZY, but my family is loyal and true and faithful to a fault. No matter what, my family will support me... through the good and the bad... through the ugly and the pretty...

I am thankful for my mom. Everything I ever learned about how to love my children I got from my mom. She loves her children MADLY. She cherishes each and everyone of us dearly. My mother would literally give her heart if one of us needed a transplant. She is the most generous person. Most of all I am thankful that my mom loves Jesus. I am thankful that she made it a priority to give me a godly foundation for my life.

I am thankful for my dad. He was just a child when I was born... a mere 18 years old. And he did the best thing he could ever do for me; he loved my mom, he stayed married to my mom. I am thankful my dad was willing to work hard to provide a good life for us children. Again most of all I am thankful my dad loves Jesus.

I am thankful for my sister Jodi. I am thankful for her CONTINUAL and CONSTANT prayer support. I am grateful that in the middle of her husband being laid off she is worried about how she can minister to me in my time of need. I am grateful that no matter what whether she agrees with me or not she will love me and defend my right to believe what I believe and choose what I choose.

(Okay Riri... Here it is...your turn in the spotlight!)

I am thankful for my sister Cori. She is generous to a fault. She will give me or my children (or any of her family or friends) her last dime in order to make us smile. She has got my back! If someone hurts me or betrays me, that girl is RABID and straining at her leash waiting to ATTACK and rain vengenance on their head. She is funny. No matter what she can make me laugh. She does not judge me. I can always be exactly who I am with her and I know she won't judge me or offer unsolicited advice. She'll just listen and love. Finally, I am thankful for how much she loves my babies. So much in fact that some of them ask me frequently if they can go live with her.

I am thankful for my wonderful brother Seth who is the BEST uncle in the world to my children. I am thankful for my gramma, the matriarch of this wonderful, crazy family. She is supportive and amazing, and she folds some mean sock. I have an amazing Aunt and SUPER cousins.

I am blessed with the most amazing family and I am thankful for them this Thanksgiving.

Thoughts on commencement

I attended my brother’s high school graduation ceremony yesterday. Wow! Note to high school administrators: We are all just there to hear the name of our graduate. So PLEASE keep extraneous items to a MINIMUM! I guess an hour and a half is not TOO bad; however, it was only a class of 52 ! Also, I spent the entire time trying to entertain Hannah. We tried two suckers (compliments of Riri). It was not noted prior to the suckers being given, however, that they were gum-filled suckers. While I fully believe that gum is from Satan (as my children have been known to loudly proclaim up and down the grocery store aisles), as the Bible says, “There is a time and place for everything.” So gum-filled suckers it was. Those did not last too long so it was on to letting her play Block Breaker on my phone. This only resulted in a very sticky Blackberry. She kept poking the lady in front of us in the butt and kicking the lady next to us. It is a wonder that I caught ANYTHING from the ceremony at all! But I did catch a few things, and here are my thoughts.

1. Amanda Livoti composed a song! WOW! Our little Amanda, just 17-years old, composed a song! Guess what? It was good too! As we all know, I’m up for any opportunity to bawl my eyes out, and her song Momma Remember When was the perfect opportunity. It wasn’t just the message of the lyrics that was hitting me so hard. It was Amanda standing up there singing too. The whole time she sang, I kept thinking: before I know it my baby will be that big. The other day as I sat on the couch with children draped all over me, I said to John, “Ten years ago we had NO children.” He said, “Yup.” I continued on, “In ten years, Noah will be 19, Jeremiah will be 17, Elijah will be 15, and Hannah will be 13. AH! I cannot take that!” One of the biggest themes echoing through my brain after yesterday’s commencement ceremony was, “Cherish every moment! They pass oh so quickly!”

2. Dan Mamerow has my vote! That kid was FUNNY! His valedictorian speech had me and all the others smushed in that gymnasium rolling on the floor. Mark my words, this kid will make it big someday. He got me thinking about all the potential represented in that gym, and even in my household. I have these four beautiful, intelligent, amazing children who love Jesus with every fiber of their little bodies. Jeremiah constantly says to me, “Momma, it’s okay that I love Jesus more than I love you right?” I always tell him DEFINITELY! Oh the potential represented in these four little children who love Jesus so much. Multiply that potential by all the Christian households in my community and state and this nation. Why are we NOT taking over this world with the love of Christ?!?! The next theme was, “Potential! Potential! Potential! Now don’t waste it!”

3. Finally, Seth Haugh graduated! Really, truly? My little brother graduated? Wasn’t it just two minutes ago the little guy came to live with us? Wasn’t it just two minutes ago that Phil Rouse was throwing a temper tantrum over musical chairs at his sixth birthday party? Wasn’t it just minutes ago that his six-year old little hands were lifting up my wedding veil to give me a kiss? I know this theme is a repetition of the earlier one, but I think it bears repeating. Cherish EVERY moment. Stop grumbling and moping around in the ick of this day. Look past the constant messes your 2-year old is making. Stop focusing on the mounds of homework. Don’t emphasize the lack of sleep, the lack of money, the lack of free time. Cherish these moments! Whether you are in high school, whether you have little kids, or whether you are facing an empty nest, cherish the season you are in because before you know it this season will pass and you are sure to be nostalgic over at least one part of its passing.

While I did get a lot out of that commencement ceremony, I am still very, very, very glad not to have to endure another for quite some time, and I hope that my little lessons gleaned from a long, sweaty, and arduous graduation ceremony will minister to you. God bless and have a GREAT day!