Quick update: skin lesion...

I am SO sorry! I should have blogged! But this has been such a FULL and EXHAUSTING week!

The week PRIOR to crazy, insane week, I blogged about my skin lesion (http://jamilynnkastner.blogspot.com/2010/09/excising-skin-lesion.html). Well this week I found out, it was skin cancer - basal cell carcinoma. Apparently it is the most common skin cancer, and now that it has been removed everything is fine.

I do have a follow up appointment, and I got a sunscreen lecture out of the deal. However, the only other instruction was to do regular skin checks as now I am more predisposed to getting skin cancer again.

So not a PERFECT report but still a good one. Anything where I end up still standing at the end is positive to me.

Thanks for praying and sorry I kept you waiting.

Friends are like a box of crayons.....

My friend Lori is such a blessing to me lately.  She thinks that I am the one that is blessing her.  We talk about spiritual life applications, and she literally jots down notes about what I say!  She thinks that God put me in her life to help her understand some of the things she is struggling through right now, but HA!  the joke is on her!  I think God put her in MY life to help build me up and encourage me.

What some of you may not know about me (but what my mother knows INTIMATELY and I think sometimes wishes she could change) is I am very, very, VERY hard on myself.  I very often struggle to find good things... really any redeemable qualities in myself.  I am the quintessential perfectionist.

Since this perfectionist has been through a very hard year, she is battered, weary, and little bit bruised.  Lately, however, I have felt myself gaining back a little strength, starting to have the ability to lift my head on my own and look around a bit.  The problem is... as a perfectionist. my natural tendency now that I have a little strength, is to critique myself.... to think of every single thing I've let slide over the past year... to get down on myself for lacking in this... slacking in that... failing in EVERYTHING!

Here's where Lori comes in:  she thinks that I am giving her all these great insights (gleaned only from a wealth of suffering I might add), but I don't think she fully realizes what she is doing for me.  She is building me up.  She is encouraging me more than I can express.  She is helping me to find a few things good about myself... in FACT!!!!  In a VERY, VERY, VERY rare occurrence... during a conversation with her this morning, I actually complimented myself!  ME!!!  Jami!!!  I independently found something good about myself and actually said to her, "I am really good at this."  What a BREAKTHROUGH!  When she says to me, "You have SUCH a great way with analogies."  She thinks she is just stating what she sees to be true, but it is SO much more for me.  It is like she is pouring soothing, healing oil on a aching wound.

About now I'm sure many of you are wondering... so what's with the Forest Gump blog title then....  Here it comes... I wanted to write this blog about Lori, but then I thought, "Well... I don't want to make anyone feel bad."  Will it hurt Christina's feelings that I singled out Lori?  Will Peggy worry that I don't value her friendship enough to blog about her?  Will my dear amazing sisters who are more valuable to me than gold think, "Humpf!  she didn't blog about me!"  Which is when I heard the voice of Forest Gump in my head, "Friends are like a box of crayons..."  (Actually friends are the crayons, but work with me here.)  While Lori is great and amazing and wonderful, she's not the only crayon in my crayon box.  I have many other colors and without them, the pictures I draw would be incomplete.  We all need Loris and Christinas and Peggys and Jodis and Coris...  (actually we all need one of those little crayon sharpeners, like the one on the box of 64 crayons, too... but that's not what this blog is about)...  And it is okay if right now most my pictures are heavily tinged with pink and some of the other colors get a little rest to hang out in the box....  Eventually I'm sure I'll go through a season of my life where I'll pick up the red more often or the green or the blue...

My encouragement to all of you is to remember:  Friends are like a box of crayons.  The more colors we have at our disposal the better the pictures we draw will be.  It is okay if sometimes you get a new crayon (or in the  case of Lori... you discover an old crayon at the back of the box you haven't used in awhile and move it to the front lines) and you LOVE to color everything that color...  That doesn't make the other colors any less important... any less valuable.  In my opinion, the prettiest pictures of life are drawn by those of us who have the most crayons in our crayon box.

Worship Wednesday: Get Back Up!

[sorry couldn't find this song to add it to my playlist and play automatically here... if you want to listen to it follow this link]

I have been waiting and waiting to do this song by Toby Mac for Worship Wednesday FOREVER!!!! It is an AWESOME tune, but week after week has found me TOO busy on Wednesdays to blog about this song! Well this week I am bound and determined to get this blog posted before this Worship Wednesday ends!

Wide awake in the middle of your nightmare,
You saw it comin' but it hit you outta nowhere

Have you ever had this happen to you? You saw something coming yet STILL it "hit you outta nowhere? I have and let me tell you what! It KNOCKS you to your knees! I've been the one to fall and the victim of hurt resulting from another's fall, and I tell you... Both situations knock you to your knees! HARD!

We lose our way,
We get back up again

Here's what we do: we lose our way??? Get back up again! Fall into sin??? Get back up again! Devastated by the sin of another??? GET BACK UP AGAIN!!!

It's never too late to get back up again,

Never, ever, ever, EVER! It is NEVER too late to get back up again. God will not run out of mercy! Jesus' redeeming blood NEVER runs dry! It is never too late so GET BACK UP AGAIN!

You may be knocked down,
But not out forever,

...because a knock down does NOT mean you are out forever.

This is love callin', love callin', out to the broken,
This is love callin'.
This is love callin', love callin', out to the broken
This is love callin'.
This is love callin', love callin',
I am so broken
This is love callin' love callin

God loves you, broken. God know you are, broken. God is calling you, broken. So go to Him, broken.

This blog is SUCH GOOD NEWS!!!! It is ok that you fell. It is okay that you're broken. He is calling you!!!! Just GET BACK UP AGAIN!!!

I hope you have a great end to this Worship Wednesday, and I hope that you will have the courage to get back up again. Remember: I'm routing for you!

Excising a skin lesion....

Here I sit in the doctor's office.  The positive part of being a mom is I didn't have much time to stress about this appointment.  However, now in the stillness before the doctor arrives... children safely deposited at my father's...  nightmarish city traffic successfully navigated...  I have to admit there's a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach.  Just a little niggling feeling, "What if what the doctor suspects is nothing is actually something?" Ugh!  Then from another corner, "Is this gonna hurt?"  And then, "Meh...  Wish I didn't have anymore time to WORRY-- "

And with that thought my worries ceased.  In breezed Dr. Larson with two shots of numbing juice.  He returned with a copy of Brad's book (MUCH more blogging about that in the future, I PROMISE!), and then he left again for just long enough that the numbing agent could kick in (and long enough for me to start bawling over Brad's book).  The actual excision of the skin lesion wasn't that laborious, although his comment, "If I had to put money on it, I'd bet this was a little bit of skin cancer," was not exactly what I wanted to hear.  

Before I knew it the procedure was over, and I was on my way to pick up the kiddos with instructions to return in a week for suture removal and the pathology report.  It was a relatively quick and painless experience which was, however, fraught with life lesson for me (and for those of you who choose to read my blog).

1.  While busyness is often the bane of my existence, it also FREQUENTLY is a blessed distraction.  I scheduled the appointment to have this "thing" removed from my back WEEKS ago, but I really had little to no time to worry about it because I have been consumed with the start of school, work busyness, and another brain surgery setback.  Of course there is a time for everything and a season for everything under the Heavens...  Therefore, there is DEFINITELY a time for quiet and still retrospection.  However, in times when worries assail:  late at night when money woes have you awake, seated in the waiting room while the doctor is with your loved one, or over the course of seven days of waiting for pathology results, busyness can be a great worry antidote. 

2.  I thought of God a lot through this procedure.  Even though Dr. Larson numbed the area prior to dipping his scalpel into it, I still felt some discomfort even a little pain during the procedure.  I thought of how God applies a numbing agent prior to doing "surgery" on our souls too.  It is called the "peace that passes all understanding." I was just contemplating this phenomenon yesterday.  I was thinking back on some really tough times our family has been through and wondering, "How did we get through that?" I realized that God's peace forms a protective blanket around our soul not COMPLETELY blocking out ALL pain but numbing us from most of it so we don't get overwhelmed.

3. It is what it is.  I kinda had this wondering thought as I left the doctor's office.  I wondered, "What if this is something bad?" Then I stopped myself and realized... it is what it is.  My worrying will NOT change what it is ONE BIT.  How powerful to think of that in light of all the worrying I have done over the past 41 years.  It is what it is...   My worrying doesn't change it one bit..  SOOOOOO why waste one minute worrying then???? 

So now I'm just enjoying the rest of this day off work.  The sun is shining.  The air has a hint of fall mixed with summer.  We enjoyed some of the BEAUTIFUL Wisconsin fall landscape on the way to and from the city.  Life is GOOD and so is God!  I'm so grateful to be His and that He keeps me safe in His loving embrace. 

Have a blessed day everyone!

The best thing since sliced bread....

Early, early morning.... BLAH!  I was awoken at 4 a.m. because I had NO covers.  Hannah was awake as well so we just laid there snuggling until it was a respectable hour to get out of bed.  As I lay there gazing upon this perfect thing called my daughter, my heart swelled with love for her.  I whispered to her, "Hannah, if I tried for the rest of my life, I could NEVER explain to you how much I love you."  She said, "I love you too Momma."  Then I said, "I think you are the best thing since sliced bread."  She just smiled and snuggled in closer.

I was just talking with my friend Lori about this yesterday.  About how I try so hard to pour as much positive, as much love, as much cherishing into my children as possible.  I remember being a first year teacher and attending a seminar where I was told that it takes ten positive comments to outweigh one negative comment.  I have tried so hard to remind myself of that while parenting.  There are SO many negative things we NEED to say to our children:  "You forgot to turn off the light." "You missed a spot." "Do NOT hit your brother!"  Making sure to get in ten positive comments per negative can be a daunting task!  But I am a sucker for the daunting tasks, so I try HARD to make sure that my children know I think they are the best thing since sliced bread.

When I was a teacher and I struggled with a difficult student, I would employ the "catch 'em being good" theory of teaching.  I often use this theory with my children too.  See I have found that when you praise a child (or any person) all they want is MORE and MORE praise from you.  So if you "catch" someone doing a few good things and you recognize those, they want to do more good things to get more recognition.  I employed this yesterday with Elijah.  He was NOT interested in reading, but that is really not a choice I'm willing to allow.  So I started out reading some of the words I knew he would have to sound out to read and paused when I got to REALLY familiar words.  As he read the familiar ones I cheered and effused about how great he was!  Before I knew it his attitude had changed RIGHT AROUND, and we were zipping through that book!

I'm not sure why this is on my heart today.  I'm not sure if someone reading this needs to hear it to help them with their relationship with a child, a student, a friend, a husband.  I don't know, but I know this:  people like to be praised.  People like to be appreciated.  People like to be built up.  Stop and THINK!  Is there someone in your life you are struggling with right now?  Can you "catch 'em being good?"  Or could you even just remind yourself of the good things about them and then tell them those things?  Positive words and affirmation are like rain to parched ground.  Try to shower those in your life with some today!