Contentment

[btw... I am full well aware of the fact that the White Elephant in the room is, "Where the heck have you been, Jami?" Suffice it to say I am running a wedding marathon like none other, and I hardly have time to do ANYTHING that is not wedding or work-related right now. Besides Noah's, Jeremiah's, Elijah's and Hannah's, there are likely only three other weddings in the WORLD that will have my heart so completely and TWO of them are happening within the next five weeks! I am WIPED and completely inundated with flower girl dresses, bridal showers, spa dates, tie finding, bachelorette dinners, tux fittings, shoe searching, and wedding gift ordering... I'm so busy I hardly have the time to just ENJOY the festivities... so sorry for not blogging, but I hope you'll understand.]


I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.
Philippians 4:11


Today as I was taking my morning walk, I was praying. I fell into my long-ago learned default mode of ACTS: Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving Supplication. During the confession portion of my prayer, some serious conviction hit me. I have been struggling with jealousy lately and with just being content with what I have. I am struck SO hard with jealousy EVERY SINGLE time I pass a Chevy Traverse (or actually any other SUV crossover which appears to have third row seating) on the road. I LONG for a new vehicle. One that has 4-wheel drive... One that has brakelights which don't need to be replaced once per month... One that has air conditioning that works, or even just a driver's side window that rolls down so I don't DIE of heat exhaustion in the summer... and one that has the inside of the driver's side door so I can't see the ground rushing by as I drive and feel the cold air pouring in during the winter....

I'm also struck with jealousy on behalf of my hubby.... He's driving a 1990 Buick LeSabre... We will be FOREVER grateful for the dear gift we were given in this FREE car; however, I am continually terrified that it will breathe its last breath leaving us with only one vehicle again... and he is, I'm sure, sick of driving with a broken front seat, missing headlight doo-hicky, driver's side window that doesn't roll down and brakes that have to be replaced every nine months because the suspension is shot. I typically feel VERY justified in desiring new vehicles. I'm not just wanting something new and shiny. The vehicles we currently possess are OLD as dirt with SEVERAL cosmetic and even some operational flaws.

However, this morning as I confessed my sin, I felt nothing but CONVICTED. God has given me SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much! He has practically handed me the EXACT life I asked Him for on a shiny silver platter. All I ever, ever, EVER wanted was to be a mom and wife. I have that, and it is so much more perfect FOR ME than I could have ever imagined.

The boy, boy, boy, girl design of my family is IDEAL for me. The fact that I get to be the one teaching my children EVERYTHING that I hold most dear:  Bible, Grammar, History, manners, good study habits, proper fitness practices is DREAMY.

Even the fact that I'm no longer crammed into a tiny side-by-side with a postage stamp lawn but am instead on 2 acres in a HUGE house with a dog and a cat and an AMAZING, quiet, country setting.

I have a hard-working husband who's willing to work himself to exhaustion for this family.  I have a HEALTHY body that while it may be ridiculously HUGE right now (sorry NOT showing photos of that image... NOPES) still has NO chronic or fatal ailments or even major issues.

I have family that is loving and supportive. I have not one BUT TWO work-at-home jobs that allow me to homeschool and BE HERE for my children.

I have the most gentle dog ever created and the best mouse-catcher cat in the world.  I have a mother who treasures me and sisters who just "get" me and friends that are a tonic to anything that ails me.

I have these GORGEOUS step-daughters (no seriously GORGEOUS have you seen them lately???) who somehow became women seemingly overnight. I have EXACTLY what I asked God for and sooooooooo much more! It's not His fault I forgot to include schnazzy cars and a fat bank account in my initial fantasies.

So this morning instead of feeling justified for wanting newer less beat up vehicles I felt nothing but conviction washing over me. I have what is really important. And my fears that the cars will stop working are silly. While my God may not care if I have a/c or a shiny paint job, He sure does care that I have transportation that will get my family to and from work, family events, et al... so I need not worry... and I should not be jealous...

I guess I'm a little slow on the uptake... but I too am learning the secret of being "content whatever the circumstances..."  Hope you are too!

Thorns, contentment, and hope...

I had the EXACT same conversation three different times yesterday.... I'm not THAT dense... I see it's something God must want me to process... With three different people, I had conversations where we ended up talking about what to do when you're praying and praying for God to change something, and it just doesn't change.

Did you ever see the movie Groundhog Day? I actually hate that movie, BUT that's not the point of this. In the movie, Bill Murray goes through the same day (Groundhog Day) over and over and over again. I can't remember what the point of that exercise is as I have tried to block the irritating movie from my memory banks; however, it is actually serving a purpose for once. In the movie, every time he wakes up it is the SAME EXACT day. He knows what's coming. He knows how it goes. Do you ever feel like that? Like you have been down this road a jillion times? Like you have endured these same struggles over and over? Like you have prayed your heart nearly DRY begging for God to change your circumstances? Yet still here you are.

How do we handle the struggles in life which seem to never end? Suffering a chronic illness... Neverending financial struggles... Perpetual singleness... What attitude are we to have towards those things?

To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me.

2 Corinthians 12:7-8

If the struggle that just won't go away is our "thorn" then our posture should be one of humility, acceptance, and perseverance. We should just accept that this is what God has given us, our "cross" to bear, and continue on living the life he has given us. Supporting this idea is:

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.

Philippians 4:12

We need to be content whether we are walking in sickness or health, whether we are socking away money for a rainy day or robbing Peter to pay Paul, whether we are navigating our days as one or as part of a dynamic duo. The summer before I met John, I had REALLY come to grips with my singleness. I was nearly 30 and feared I would never ever get that precious "Mrs. Degree" I had so deeply desired. That summer I remember saying to God, "You know Lord, I'm okay with being single. I don't need to get married. I have a tremendous ministry here, reaching out to these children in this Christian school. That is enough for me. I had become content in that situation. BUT (and that's a REALLY BIG BUT there) I had NOT given up hope. My contentment with my singleness didn't mean that I had stopped longing for my soul mate. I think that is a fallacy we have all accepted. We believe that being content means you no longer desire or hope for that thing you don't have: health, financial stability, a spouse. I think you can be content with your situation while still hoping and praying for a change.....

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful.

Hebrews 10:23

He is faithful and no matter HOW long you have endured the exact same struggle, you should hang on to your hope! We serve an AMAZING God, Whose power and majesty know NO end.... No matter how neverending your situation seems, no matter how hopeless your plight, He CAN change it. He CAN turn it around in a FRACTION of an instant.

So where does that leave us??? How then do we endure? I think that we endure by accepting our situation and getting to the point where we know should God choose to NEVER change our struggles, we will continue on: loving Him, praising Him, serving Him. I think we endure by finding things to be grateful for even when the night seems the darkest. But most importantly I think we endure by NEVER EVER giving up the hope that things might change.

My dear friend who is struggling through a situation that just DOESN'T seem to resolve itself, I know your pain! I understand the agony! I GET the deep, deep desire to just be through to the other side of this trial. I need you to hear that our God CAN change your situation. But I need you to tell me that even if He never does change it, you will NOT give up!

So seek contentment with where you are. Remember that God can bring your healing, rescue, redemption in an INSTANT! But until He does, hang on tight. Don't give up. Be content and most of all PRAISE HIM!