#thebabywiththeglasses was quite an adventure! If we were ever in the car for more than 10 minutes, Hannah would get bored, take off her glasses, and toss them around. She teethed on those things! They were constantly getting lost, and because they were these little plastic things kind of similar to goggles which were designed to not get broken or hurt her, the lenses popped out easily, so we would always be searching for those ridiculously expensive, thick, little bifocal lenses. One time on the way home from Madison when she was almost two, I looked back, and she wasn't wearing her glasses. I said Hannah where are your glasses, and she pointed to the window and said, "Windo!" Sure enough while we were flying down I-94, she had thrown them out the window. She had glasses from the time she was four months old. We had to patch her eye for what felt like a very long time (maybe from 2 to 4 years old). Finally when she was 4 years old, she had to have eye muscle surgery.
I really only have two very vivid memories from that surgery. She was in my arms when the doctor came to get her, and they took her from me, and she cried all the way down the hallway, "Momma! Momma! Momma!" It SHREDDED my heart. But this second memory is what this blog is about. As I sat in the waiting room during her surgery, I couldn't pray for her surgery. Every time I tried to close my eyes and pray about it, I was assaulted with this image of her eyeballs cut open. So I reached out to my loved ones and ask them to please carry me through this surgery on their prayers, because I was not capable of praying about it right then.
Sometimes in the heat of it when you're going through an extremely difficult trial, you have to prioritize survival. If a person is drowning, it isn't the time for them to worry about how they fell out of the boat or analyze boats and oceans and falls. It isn't the time to start contemplating lessons for the next time they're about to fall out of the boat. It also isn't the time to be grateful for the salt water hitting them in the face and rushing down their throat or to be grateful that they didn't die upon impact. When you're drowning, you have to prioritize survival. Contemplating and learning lessons and sometimes even praising God can wait until you survive. And sometimes all you can manage is a very short, succinct cry for help, "Save me, Lord!"
I'm not positive what Jami's 7 stages of trials would actually be, but I do know a few things you don't have to worry about when you're drowning in trials:
1. You don't have overanalyze what got you there. Tell the story as much as it soothes your soul. Talk about it if talk is beneficial for you. But when you're walking through the worst of the fire, it is NOT the time to analyze.
2. You don't have to learn lessons while you're fighting to keep your head above water. Survival is not the time for taking notes! It's time to focus on those skills you learned in water safety: tread water, keep the limbs moving, start swimming, head above the water! Just. Get. Through. Just survive.
3. When your drowning, it really doesn't matter how many have drowned before you. The 4,000 others who drowned before you this year are not a comfort or an aid to you when you're just trying to survive. Don't worry about them! Also when you're drowning isn't the time to worry about what other people will think about your situation or to worry if your treading water form is on point. Let the audience (imaginary or real) fade into the blur of the background.
4. It's okay not to praise with salt water rushng down your esophagus. There will be PLENTY of time after you survive for praising. You don't have to try to time the beats of your legs pedaling through the water to praise songs.
5. Finally, it's okay not to pray. You can ask others to pray for you because it just hurts too much to pray yourself. You can throw up short pleas for help or just be carried on the wings of your prayer support. Again focus on surviving! Once you get close enough to the shore to put your feet down and start walking through the waves to the beach, you can start truly praying. Save you strength! Survive! Just get through the hottest part of the trial.
The surgery was incredibly successful. She even got back her depth perception, which isn't the outcome for every child who has eye muscle surgery. We learned so much! Heck we learned so much from the entire #babywiththeglasses saga! But most importantly, we survived.
Ephesians 6:13
Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.
