We departed fifteen minutes early and made it down the drive before the uneasiness started setting in. Wow! Out here it looks even worse, I thought. I looked both ways and really couldn't even tell if there were any cars coming down my street. However, since there are RARELY if ever any cars coming down my street, in faith, I pulled out onto Nevada Heights Road. I traveled slowly towards Madison. I could barely see 25 feet in front of me. Again pausing before turning onto the road, I shot up a little prayer that there were no cars I couldn't see racing down Madison Road, and I made the left turn. The war in my mind was deafening, What in the world are you doing risking your babies' lives and limbs??? Don't be a baby! It's not that bad! Back and forth the war continued until I reached 33. About 50 yards before 33, I started becoming pretty certain that I would indeed turn around and head home. I could not imagine pulling out onto this road where people would be traveling in excess of 55 mph when I couldn't see more than MAYBE 50 feet on either side. I turned around. I admit it. I am a wuss. But don't judge me until you are transporting four of the most precious things in your life through fog as thick as pea soup!
This morning as I looked back out on the lingering fog, I still couldn't see any of the houses across the street. I knew they were there, but I couldn't see even one of them. I felt isolated and alone, like I might be the only house in this subdivision. I didn't doubt the presence of the other houses. I didn't wonder if in the night somehow they had moved. They were there. They were just covered in a thick blanket of fog. Yet still I felt alone. It got me thinking.
There are a lot of times when I can't see God. There are times when the fog of trials is so think around me that I can't see Him. I know He is there, but I can't see Him at all. I feel isolated and alone, like I might be alone in this fight. I don't doubt His presence. I don't wonder if He has left me. I know He is there. He's just covered in a thick blanket of trials. Yet still I feel all alone.
Here's the lesson for this day: our feelings, our senses, they don't always tell us the truth. I often feel worthless and like a failure. I often feel like I am all alone. I often feel like there is no hope. But all of these things are lies! I am so valuable that God sent His only Son to die for my sins [For God so loved the world (Jami Lynn Kastner) that He gave His one and only Son... John 3:16a], and in His eyes I am never a failure for the blood of Jesus covers over all my shortcomings [....the blood of Jesus, His son, purifies us from all sin... I John 1:7b]. I am never alone! NEVER! Even if my husband and children, my friends and family were all to leave me, still I would not be alone. [Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me.... Psalm 23:4a] There is ALWAYS hope [On Him we have set our hope that He will continue to deliver us... 2 Corinthians 1:10].
So today remember that your feelings are not necessarily the truth. There are times to "trust your gut" but NEVER when your gut goes against God's Word. When your feelings do not line up with the Word of God, then tell your feelings to take a hike!
