There comes a point.... past the slough of suffering.... beyond the trail of tragedy... far, FAR down the peak of excruciating pain, even a few steps past the distant dark of discouragement.... I like to refer to it as the mountain of maniacal laughter. This place is reached only after so much has gone wrong that it becomes comical. You can't even cry over your troubles. All that is left is to laugh like a maniac because most would not even BELIEVE what you have laboriously walked through is even true.
I reached this precipice tonight. It was after yestetday's refrigerator debaucle. Long past our brush with yet ANOTHER craigslist scam. Even after complete CHAOS threatened to make null and void a VITAL contract I had entered into. The maniacal laughter started after John reported not only did the doctor refuse to shorten the ban on him driving... but He actually EXTENDED it. EXTENDED IT!!!
I'm at that point.... the trials of my life don't even seem BELIEVABLE anymore! I mean who has TWO brand new appliances fail COMPLETELY when they are less than 18 months old? Who drives her husband 30 miles one way to reach the BUS STOP to get to work? Who barely escapes her SECOND brush with a scam on craigslist? Who does these things???? Jami Lynn Kastner... that's who.
Now you may think the maniacal laughter means I have gone crazy... but tonight I recognized it for what it really is... And the realization brought more laughter. I have been trying to figure out how I am going to do all of this.... how I will get John to work an hour away.... how I will make do until the fridge gets fixed.... how I will deal with this and that .... tonight I just started laughing when I realized... I CAN'T. I just CAN'T. this one is ALL God's. The ball is in His court, and if He wants John & me to make it through the next 2 months of John being unable to drive then HE will have to carry us through it. He will have to reveal some pretty crazy miracles. He will have to make a way when there seems to be no way.
I think the laughter comes in because I'm like... really Jami? It took you this long? It took this many things before you would finally LET GO and realize the One you serve didn't bring you to these herculean circumstances to watch you fight through them on your own... He brought you to this place to do MIGHTY things THROUGH you. So step out of the way and stop trying to DO IT! You are messing everything up! Let Him do it.
And I will. I'm laying down my tools. I'm done trying to figure this out. One day... one minute at a time.... I will just keep plodding on. I don't have to know how we are going to get there.... I just have to let Him navigate.
Stay tuned y'all. I just have a feeling that we are all about to witness SOME KIND OF show here in the Kastner household! Because in order for this to work out, God will need SOME kind of fireworks show.
God bless you tonight! May you too realize that He is in control. May you let Him navigate the way for you.
I reached this precipice tonight. It was after yestetday's refrigerator debaucle. Long past our brush with yet ANOTHER craigslist scam. Even after complete CHAOS threatened to make null and void a VITAL contract I had entered into. The maniacal laughter started after John reported not only did the doctor refuse to shorten the ban on him driving... but He actually EXTENDED it. EXTENDED IT!!!
I'm at that point.... the trials of my life don't even seem BELIEVABLE anymore! I mean who has TWO brand new appliances fail COMPLETELY when they are less than 18 months old? Who drives her husband 30 miles one way to reach the BUS STOP to get to work? Who barely escapes her SECOND brush with a scam on craigslist? Who does these things???? Jami Lynn Kastner... that's who.
Now you may think the maniacal laughter means I have gone crazy... but tonight I recognized it for what it really is... And the realization brought more laughter. I have been trying to figure out how I am going to do all of this.... how I will get John to work an hour away.... how I will make do until the fridge gets fixed.... how I will deal with this and that .... tonight I just started laughing when I realized... I CAN'T. I just CAN'T. this one is ALL God's. The ball is in His court, and if He wants John & me to make it through the next 2 months of John being unable to drive then HE will have to carry us through it. He will have to reveal some pretty crazy miracles. He will have to make a way when there seems to be no way.
I think the laughter comes in because I'm like... really Jami? It took you this long? It took this many things before you would finally LET GO and realize the One you serve didn't bring you to these herculean circumstances to watch you fight through them on your own... He brought you to this place to do MIGHTY things THROUGH you. So step out of the way and stop trying to DO IT! You are messing everything up! Let Him do it.
And I will. I'm laying down my tools. I'm done trying to figure this out. One day... one minute at a time.... I will just keep plodding on. I don't have to know how we are going to get there.... I just have to let Him navigate.
Stay tuned y'all. I just have a feeling that we are all about to witness SOME KIND OF show here in the Kastner household! Because in order for this to work out, God will need SOME kind of fireworks show.
God bless you tonight! May you too realize that He is in control. May you let Him navigate the way for you.
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