Worship Wednesday: Lead Me

Guest blogger:  John J. Kastner

Blogger’s Intro:  [Yes!  I got permission before posting this!]

Last week I received the following in an e-mail from my hubby.  I told him I was going to post it at my blog.  I think he thought I was kidding, but I was not.  I think this e-mail will minister to someone’s heart, but I also wanted to share it with you because I wanted to show a little of his heart here on my blog because I find the heart of John J. Kastner to be a precious place to enter, and I feel honored to be allowed into it. 

Hope you enjoy!

Jami

Jami,

I’m not a blogger.  Most times, I don’t know where a sentence should start or end.  I hear things like, "Spell check makes things so much easier!" but when I spell words and click spell check that super computer with every possible word combo for every possible word just stares back at me with a dumbfounded look on the screen as if to say, "WHAT??? the heck are you trying to spell here???"

But I did feel God telling me this fine, sunny, blistering hot morning to write this down... to put this in words before the busyness of the day consumes me, and my thoughts on this fade away.  There is a song... don’t know if it’s new or old.  Can’t say with 100% certainty why, but it did three things for me this morning:

1. Brought this 245lb., 100%, real man to tears.  I’m not talking about eyes watery.  I’m talking about full- blown, saltwater running down my face, TEARS.

2. Brought clarity to how blessed I am because of you and the fact that you love me in spite of all my faults 

3. Showed me no matter how hard I work, or how much I work, that’s not all you're looking for in your mate. (I’m sorry I’m not always there for you the way you need me to be.  I am most often there for you the way I feel I should instead of the way you need.)

4. Showed me that I fall short of my wife, children, and family's needs way too much on a daily basis. 

I know that I know that turning on a dime is an unobtainable goal, but I will say that from now on in every situation, I will do my best to hear this song in my heart and act in a Godly, husbandly and fatherly way.

The song is by Sanctus Real.  Here are the words.  You'll have to google the music.

WITH ALL MY HEART I LOVE YOU ALL, AND I’M AM TRULY SORRY FOR THE MAN I AM TODAY.  I LOOK FORWARD TO THE MAN I’LL BE TOMORROW.

Love,

John

Lead Me

I look around and see my wonderful life
Almost perfect from the outside
In picture frames I see my beautiful wife
Always smiling
But on the inside, I can hear her saying...

“Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, what about us?


Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone”


I see their faces, look in their innocent eyes
They're just children from the outside
I'm working hard, I tell myself they'll be fine
They're in independent
But on the inside, I can hear them saying...


“Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, but what about us?


Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone”


So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I'm called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way


To lead them
Won't You lead me?
To lead them with strong hands
To stand up when they can't
Don't want to leave them hungry for love,
Chasing things that I could give up


I'll show them I'm willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this our home
Lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone


Father, lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone