On this day....

44 years ago a little boy was born, John Joseph Kastner.  He was born a little too early, and he had a rough time growing up, but on Easter Sunday sixteen years ago, Jesus saved his soul, and he was finally ready to be my soul mate.  I am SO glad that God picked my spouse for me, because He knew exactly what mate would be perfect for Jami Lynn Kastner.  On this day, his birthday, I wanted to write a blog about why John Joseph Kastner was the PERFECT choice for me.

Some people say, "Opposites attract."  Some people say, "Two different sides of the same coin."  I like to think of John and I as two blue legos.  We are the same color (blue).  We are the same thing (legos).  But one of us is missing the top, and one of us is missing the bottom.  We are only complete when stuck together.  But here is the KICKER:  for us to fit together we have to be DIFFERENT or it doesn't work.  Try as hard as you like but if you cannot get legos to stick together by pounding the tops together or by smacking the bottoms together.  The only way to get legos to stick is to put the DIFFERENT parts together.

The problem is often in marriage it is easier to focus on how our differences cause irritations instead of glorying in how our differences make us a more complete unit.  This has been MY battle for twelve years, because I have this opinion, that the Jami L. Kastner way is the RIGHT way.  But God has been teaching me for twelve years that different doesn't necessarily equal wrong.  Here's what I mean:

John is brave when I am afraid.  I have a HUGE fear issue.  I am worried about what people think about me.  I am bothered by what people are saying about me.  I am AFRAID that disaster lurks just around the corner.  I am TERRIFIED that something will happen to my children.  This makes me a very cautious person, but it can go too far.  Where is the trust in God if I am always afraid?  While lovingly working me through my fear issue, God placed this wonderful man in my life who is not afraid of ANYTHING!  He doesn't give a rip what people think or say about him.  He doesn't worry about what's lurking around the corner.  He is just not afraid.  I can count on one hand, the number of times I have seen John J. Kastner show fear over the past 12 years (when Jeremiah swallowed a dart and needed an endoscopy, when Elijah's needed surgery on his thumbs, when he faced brain surgery, and when Elijah had his tonsils out).  Those were the only times he showed fear, and I only noticed them because of my trained eye and advanced studies in all things John J. Kastner.

John is tough where I am tender.  This isn't hard for people to figure out.  John is a gruff guy.  He lays down the law.  He stands up for me when I am being mistreated.  He is the BACKBONE!  I needed this in my life so badly!  I always joke (but there's A LOT of truth to it) that I can hardly tell the Subway guy he messed up my sandwich.  I am a conflict-a-phob like NO other!  I needed John in my life to make me a little tougher, but mostly to be tough for me when I just can't seem to be.

Those aren't our only differences, but they are our biggest ones, and I have learned over the past dozen years to look at the ways our differences turn us into a more complete unit instead of allowing them to irritate me.

So on this day, August 14, 2010, I want to send a HUGE

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

to my one and only.

(Close you eyes if you hate the mushy stuff.)

I love you John Kastner.  You complete me.  I am eternally grateful God gave you to me.