Night driving...

I struggle with driving at night... it's something about not being able to see were I'm going.... like FAR down the road going... even though my eyes can see the lane lines RIGHT in front of me, I can't see FAR down the road... and that scares me. I get this weird panic attack feeling when my brain can't gather the distant image and has to rely solely on just the feet in front of me that my headlights illuminate. I have this panicked NEED to KNOW where I'm going! It happened several times on this girl's road trip to see Noah and struggling through it was PACKED with application for me. Gonna try to unpack it here.

It hit me like an owl flying out of the dark and into my windshield: well well well... at least you're consistent! You get this same panicked feeling when you can't see where your trials are taking you also. When you can't see FAR down the road of the struggle (which is most of the time when you're walking with God).... When all you can see is the few feet of the situation RIGHT in front of you that your headlights have illuminated.

I thought about how I was getting through the night driving terrors, and it was DEEP y'all! 

1. I breathed... like I seriously connected to my breath and just BREATHED my way through until it passed.

2. I encouraged myself... I literally talked (out loud) to myself, "Focus on what you can see, Jami. Just keep breathing. Stay between the lines you can see. Just stay in your lane."

3. I found a vehicle up ahead to fix my eyes on for perspective, and I course corrected off of them. 

4. Sometimes... it didnt really make sense. But sometimes I even sped up in order to catch up to another car that I could use for perspective. 

And I thought..... when I get home I have GOT to blog about the parallels between these night driving terrors and struggles. The connections aren't hard to draw, but imma draw them here in the hopes that it will cement these reminders in my fickle heart.

1. Breathe.... when life throws you a swift hard PUNCH to the gut... BREATHE. Just BREATHE. Physically.... it helps to just concentrate on your breathing.... inhale slowly.... count if you have to... exhale slowly... focus HARD on the process of breathing... give time for the panic to dissipate a little.

2. Encourage yourself. Remind yourself of God's promises. Tell yourself you're going to survive. Redirect your panicked thoughts to focus on what you can see... to stay in your lane... get your eyes OFF the problem and onto God.

3. Find a vehicle up ahead! Tell someone about your struggle. Find someone who has previously driven down this road and FOLLOW THEM until you get your perspective and can see the whole road again.

4. If you have to SPEED UP to catch someone to follow... it's not Sunday yet??? Find your church family anyways. You don't know anyone who has struggled down this road? SEEK THEM OUT.... don't give up until you find another person to help you course correct... to give you perspective... to help you see which way to go.

The first time this terror hit me.... I was just a few hours from Noah at about 8 p.m.... stopping until daylight just wasn't an option. So I pulled up my big girl pants and fought through. On the return trip, as night fell.... I kept the lessons I learned in NC in the front of my brain.... I sought out vehicles to follow the entire time I was driving.... whether in a well-lit area or a DARK stretch of the path..... I made sure there was always someone in the distance for perspective... I practiced taking my eyes off the distance and navigating by the lane markers... and I just kept breathing and telling myself it would be fine.... just for a little next-level fun it started POURING in Indiana... even before dark fell... I just kept using my strategies,  and I powered right through.

I feel like this blog is a bit of a jumble.... but I hope it ministered to someone. Even if it didnt.... it helped me to get it down for posterity so the next road trip or the next struggle.... it will be better cemented in my brain.... and for me, the most important takeaway was.... find someone to follow through the dark.... 

Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.

1 Corinthians 11:1