The darkness

Do you ever just stop... and look around... and wonder.... what is this landscape? This darkness all around me? Whose life is this? Why doesn't it match the dreams I had in my head? 

That dissonance.... that discrepancy.... this perfectionist's very SOUL screams out for HARMONY! CONTINUITY! PEACE.... between the dreams I held for myself and this thing called life. 

I'm a bit densely constructed... it takes just a smidge to get through to me... but I'm starting to see... that dissonace...  it's actually poignant.... I'm not meant to love this life. I'm not meant to fit in this scene. These unfulfilled dreams... these disappointments... the life that just doesn't match what I'd imagined... they serve a real and righteous purpose.

They point me to God. They make me long for my heavenly home. They force me to THROW myself at His feet screaming, "God I can't do this alone!!!"

So weary traveler take heart... that paltry bank account... those lonely nights... that tragically MESSED UP situation you can hardly make heads or tails of.... it's serving a purpose. Lean into it. Let it show you how big your God is. Let it take you to His feet. Let it exponentially surge your desire to be with Him... right now in prayer and forevermore in Heaven. Don't fear that darkness.... let it lead you to His light. 

There will be no more night. They will not need the light of a lamp or the light of the sun, for the Lord God will give them light. And they will reign for ever and ever.

Revelation 22:5