When life hurts

Sometimes life hurts. BAD. Sometimes you are left in a crumpled puddle of tears and snot wondering where the heck THAT came from and HOW the heck you will ever get back up. I never want to suffer through those times in vain.  If I'm going to have to cry, scream, and scratch my way through a painful situation then by golly it better mean something in the end! That's kinda the whole point of this entire blog.  If I can teach even one person the lesson I learned through something, then my suffering wasn't in vain.

Yet in the past I've been too quick to forward to the lesson part.  I think one lesson I've learned from those this-hurts-so-much-I-can't-even-MOVE situations is that you can't always fast forward to the lesson. Some hurts cut so deep they demand to be felt. I've been learning a lot about this buzz word "self- care," and I think it is JUST what you need when pain leaves you dazed and confused. Here are a few of my self-care ideas for when your heart has been rubbed raw by life.

1. Protection... everybody has those well meaning people in their lives who instead of pouring well-needed balm on our wound accidentally grab the salt shaker and give a few shakes right in there.  Pull yourself back from those people.  They don't have to be a part of your healing team. It's okay not to share EVERYTHING you're going through with everyone you love.  It's also okay to tell your details and then firmly ask someone NOT to comment.

2. Company.... but don't keep everyone outside that barrier.  You need some company to walk you through this. You need someone you can lean on. You don't need advice.  You don't need judgement.  You just need someone to be present in your suffering. Find them!

3. Permission... you need to give yourself permission to feel,  to grieve, to hurt.  Cry if you need to. Scream until your throat hurts. Admit to every.single.thing. you are feeling and allow yourself to FEEL it. (Just be careful not to pitch a tent and start living there.)

4. Tenderness... you must be gentle with yourself. Point yourself towards the sweatpants section of your closet.  Find your fuzzy slippers. Invest in some essential oils. Pull out the noodles and cheese. (Again be careful about not living in this place, but...) Handle yourself with kid-gloves. Now is not the time for berating yourself. Now is not the time for analyzing.  It's not yet time glean wisdom. Don't push yourself. Don't judge yourself. Cut yourself some slack.

5. Faith... this one might he the most important one.  No matter how bad it gets.  No matter how dark your valley.  You must have FAITH. Believe that God is right there with you. Believe that His grace is sufficient. Believe that He will carry you through this. BELIEVE.

As long as we are here on this planet,  life is going to hurt.  Sometimes so badly it shakes you to the core. But you WILL get through it. I saw this pin the other day... "You've survived 100% of everything in your life so far, so there's a pretty good chance you'll survive whatever is next."

When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you.
Isaiah 43:2