Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Battered and bruised....

There are people in this world who wound you no matter how gently you touch them. Even when you reach out to help or to offer an encouraging word.... you come away from encounters with them battered and bruised.

I don't know why these people are that way. Do they TRY to stab at the heart of you? Are they just carelessly flinging their words about? I'm not sure I care. Why they do things doesn't really heal the damage they have done.

[Before I go any further.... because I know I will get a call/text/email about this.... THIS BLOG IS NOT ABOUT ANYONE I AM RELATED TO! And I am PURPOSELY being vague because I don't believe in using my blog to call people out.... but rather I like to use my blog as a vehicle for dissecting the things I'm going through.... writing is my therapy (even when I do it huddled over a smartphone and pecking away with my thumbs like this) I blog to work my way through my feelings and I have a public blog so others can stumble across my mad hot mess and find encouragement or understanding... NOT so I can tell the world with whom I had a prickly encounter today. There.... now let's get on with it.]

Soooooo back to the wounds from a "friend".....

When I hear that quote, "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. I think of myself. See I am the ETERNAL optimist. No matter how often a person has shattered my heart I keep believing, next time they won't. I give 2nd, 3rd and 4th chances where they are in NO WAY warranted. I just keep on hoping that people will behave nicely. And over and over and over again I am disappointed because of that hopeful outlook.

Left here after a firm slap in the face I ponder (not to sound trite) "What would Jesus do?"  And here's what I think He would do.... He wouldn't stop loving.... He wouldn't stop reaching out His hand to try to gently touch another.... He wouldn't give up hope that next time will be different.

For tonight I hope its okay if I just hide in my corner licking my wounds. But don't you worry.... tomorrow I will get back up again, dust the debris off my seat, wipe the snot from my nose, pull up my big girl panties and get back to loving... NO MATTER WHAT. But not tonight... I hope its okay if I just whimper in my bed with the covers pulled up tight for awhile...

Goodnight everyone...


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