Tuesday, August 16, 2011

An epiphany...

Today was a grueling day. Rose at 4 am (after not being able to fall asleep last night and then startling awake every 1-2 hours cuz I was afraid we'd overslept), dropped the boys at Jodi's, and headed to the surgicenter. It was a HORRIBLE experience.
We were doing fine until it was time for Hannah to take some Versed. Just like her Momma, she is NOT one for liquid medication. John and I had to pin her down, TWICE, before the medicine went down. Then they started to wheel her away, and she cried, "I want my MOMMA!" all the way down the hall! Talk about ripping a mom's heart out and STOMPING on it!
And then all those children having surgery! Some of them (8's & 9's) came in crying, obviously not wanting surgery. Some were YOUNG, and it was awful. I was crying for at least 3 of them who weren't even mine. Surgery took longer than expected, and it seemed an eternity before they called, "Family for Hannah."
The doctor met us and said everything went JUST as hoped for, and Hannah did great! When we were called back to recovery Hannah was resting peacefully. She awoke and said,  "Mom! I can see you!" And then dozed again.
After an hour in recovery we headed to Auntie Jodi's, by way of Walmart first (to get Tylenol and a baby doll reward), and picked up the boys. We were home by just after noon. John, Hannah and I took a 2-hr nap. Then we ate dinner. The patient is doing GREAT. No nausea from anesthesia. No fever. No complications. We are actually having a hard time keeping her down right now. She wants to run about and play, but we want to be careful cuz she's still a little off-center from anesthesia. (Weird how quickly kids bounce back!)
So now to the epiphany part...
I literally took time to pray before I shared this. It was such a REAL, STRONG word from God, and I really hope I can properly express it to you all.
It happened post-op, as I was sitting in the chair holding Hannah. It occurred to me that Hannah might be thinking, "Momma why did you let this happen to me?" Indeed I did have the power to stop that from happening to her. The doctor required OUR authorization before she could operate on Hannah. John and I did NOT have to agree to it. She cried out, "Mom! My eyes hurt!" I could have prevented that pain. I had the power to avoid it. But because I want what is best for my little girl, I had to give authorization for this surgery to take place. From her finite 5-year old perspective, the Versed, the wheeling away from us, the pain, our refusal to let her itch her eyes... they made little to no sense. But John and I looked at it from a different perspective... one that focused on our daughter keeping her vision. So we forcibly administered the Versed. We gave authorization and let them cut into our baby's eyes causing her pain, agony, and itching that may drive her insane. Because that was what had to happen to bring about the best results for her.
In a light-bulb-above-my-head moment, it occurred to me what a perfect example this is of why God allows us to walk down difficult roads. Often we cry out, "God why are you letting this happen to me?" And indeed He does have the power to stop it. He could help us avoid the pain, but He sees from a different perspective. Our finite perspective cannot understand why God would let these things happen to us. However, He sees with eyes that are focused on a different goal. So He forcibly administers the Versed, allows them to wheel us away, and lets them inflict painful procedures on us.... because He knows what is best for His babies.
If this analogy didn't minister to you, then just ignore it. But God impressed it on my heart today because SOMEONE needed to hear it.
God bless, and have a great night.

1 comment:

  1. I had to laugh because this is so similar to a post I had 2 years ago :) http://longdaysareshortyears.blogspot.com/2009/06/lessons-form-er.html

    So true, my friend, so true. Pain is not always a bad thing.

    ReplyDelete