The baby with the glasses....

Hello dear blog readers. Do you feel used and abused because I only blog when there's something wrong? I don't know what to say except, "I'm sorry." See life swirls at such a frenzied pace around here that I literally have no time for the luxury of blogging. I have been doing a lot of freelance writing for Demand Studios which does not leave much time for blogging. But today life threw another one of those darn monkey wrenches at me, and I need a little therapy... the only therapy I can afford... blogging.

See it all started nearly five years ago....

We took Hannah to her 4 month well-baby checkup and I distractedly asked the pediatrician, "Is it a bad thing that her eye crosses like that?" Sure enough it was. My four-month old perfect baby girl had strabismus caused by the fact that she was severely far-sighted. Thus began an endless parade of HORRENDOUS little plastic glasses FINALLY replaced by cute and trendy frame after frame after frame!  No lie at this point the girl goes through AT LEAST three pairs of glasses per year.

***There was the time that she threw her little pink plastic glasses out the window of the minivan as we sped down I-94... never got those ones back.

***Then there was the season where we had to make her wear a patch over her strong eye for hours a day. We bought ADORABLE decorative patches: tiaras, flowers, polka dots, and pink, pink, pink... Alas it didn't make the patching more fun.

***and now this.

You know I thought by the fourth child I kinda had this parenting thing figured out... so HEY for a little twist let's through in this tiny pair of PRESCRIPTION eyeglasses and the HYSTERICAL task of keeping them on a baby's face, keeping her from teething on the lenses and EVEN retrieving them from the garbage can of a Target cashier who thought they were a TOY.

Our journey through the world of pediatric opthamology has been grueling; however, the past two appointments started revealing a light at the end of the tunnel. That was until today... when the tunnel caved in and the light was cut out, "The glasses aren't working. Hannah has to have surgery."  Those BLASTED little eyeglasses! The bane of my existence!  I retrieved them out of situations I don't care to reveal. I have offered reward after reward after REWARD for their recovery. I have spent the past two years driving an hour ONE WAY to travel to the amazing Lisa at the Stein Optical on Hwy 100 and National to make sure the bifocals in those precious little glasses were cut properly. I have cared for pair after pair after PAIR of those little glasses for five years.... and TODAY they let me down. They did NOT do the job. So now we have to travel down another bumpy road.

Now don't get me wrong people I KNOW that we CAN do this! I know that in the grand scheme of things... ranked next to a daddy who needed brain surgery and would be out of work with NO INCOME for months and would probably NEVER return to full pre-brain surgery strength... this measly little eye surgery carries little to no degree of difficulty. But... (and that's a very big BUT there):

1. that is MY baby girl they are going to be doing ROUTINE eye surgery on

2. I don't care that I CAN get through this... I don't WANT TO... I just don't want to!  I want God to reach down and miraculously touch those little eyes and make them WORK so I don't have to sit in a waiting room for 1 - 2 hours waiting while someone cuts my baby's eyeball open.

As I drove home from the doctor's visit, I ran to the one and ONLY place I can ever find comfort. I turned on K-Love... desperate for a word from my loving Father....  He just NEVER, EVER, EVER disappoints.

First I heard...

I was sure by now... God you would have reached down...
and wiped out tears away... stepped in to save the day...
but once again... I say amen... and its still raining...
as the thunder rolls... I barely hear You whisper through the rain....
"I'm with you."

Next...

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death...
Your perfect love is casting out fear.
And even when I'm caught in the middle of the storms of this life...
I won't turn back I know you are near
And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?

So I will praise Him in this storm.... because I know my God is with me... But if you get a second please throw up a little prayer for the little girl with the eye glasses.... all her life she's worn those little eye glasses... but now she STILL has to have her eyes cut into... and while you're at it say a little prayer for her daddy... handing her over into the arms of the surgeon just may break that man. Oh and don't forget her momma too... a lady who has been through the WRINGER and just does not WANT to go there again.

Although as I always tell my children when they tell me what they want:  I want to be a size 10. I want to be sitting on the beach in Aruba. I want a clean house and less gray hair. 

YOU CAN'T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT!!!