Marriage...

Sacred Marriage:  What if God designed marriage to make us holy instead of happy?  Gary Thomas

Haven't read this book yet, but OH how its title has been rocking my world!  On Wednesday, my friend Terri posted this in her FB status.  It has been echoing through my soul ever since, and of course part of why it has been on my mind is that John and I have been negotiating a mine field of struggles recently... and not without stepping on a few mines.

I have always known I would find more success working to make my spouse happy then fighting to get him to make me happy.  But WHAT IF... WHAT IF it isn't about happiness AT ALL???  You know as earth shaking as that question was to me, really it should not have been.  I have long believed and loudly touted, "God cares more about your character than your comfort."  Really that is what this marriage thesis is saying.  That being comfortable (happy) is not as important as building character (holiness).

We can BE happy in a marriage, but I think the point it that happiness comes as a byproduct.  The true goal of every single part of our life is HOLINESS.  Tough to swallow???  A little bit.  Make sense??? A LOT!  Marriage is HARD.  It takes humility and fortitude like I've never exhibited before.  I have to be SOFT and PLIABLE in my compromising with this man but SOLID and UNBUDGING in my commitment to him.  It makes a lot of sense that this thing called marriage is about HOLINESS.    

Now before you go run and grab your spouse and make him/her read this because HE/SHE need to be holier... WAIT!  You need to read this too.  YOU!  It is YOU who clicked on this link!  It is YOU who God is speaking to right now!  Even if what your spouse has done is WRONG... flat out completely and totally WRONG... SINFUL...  guess what?  There is still holiness for you to achieve.  Turn the other cheek... Speak the truth IN LOVE... If you are a part of it, you have a part in it.  So pursue YOUR holiness and let God worry about your spouse's holiness.  That is what God has been speaking (FINE!  SHOUTING!) to me recently.  "KEEP YOUR NOSE OUT OF JOHN'S BUSINESS, JAMI!"  GOD SAYS.  "WORRY ABOUT YOUR OWN IMPERFECTIONS!  PURSUE YOUR OWN HOLINESS!"

So that's what I'm gonna do.  I hope you will too.