completely exhausted

I purposely didn't capitalize anything in the title of this blog... too tired to hit my shift key unless it is rote and without conscious thought. I am so far beyond exhausted, I'm not sure I can even describe it to you. I cannot imagine how John feels!

We left our house at 10:30 a.m. and headed to Hartford for an appointment with John's primary care physician. I waited in the car with the kids while John went in to get the thumbs up for surgery. He was cleared! YIPEE! So then it was off to Milwaukee for an appointment with the neurosurgeon. We stopped in Menomonee Falls to hit the bank and get some lunch. It was a very nice quiet family time (not something we get a lot). I sat there thinking, "It's kinda sad that it takes a trauma to get my family to slow down and spend a little time together."

Dr. Ahuja's office was TRYING, TERRIBLE, and bordering on HORRENDOUS! Our appointment was at 2:30... we were early. The kids were squirrley. Hannah, Elijah, Jeremiah and I sat out in the hallway because the waiting room was so crowded there were no seats left for us. Finally we got in a room and waited at least another 30 - 45 minutes before seeing the doctor. John was "marked for surgery." As we walked out of the office, the nurse looked at John and said, "Your children are the most well-behaved children I have ever seen." I looked at her like she had just dropped off of Mars.... "These hooligans?" I thought.

On the way home, another trip to the bank this time with a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG wait. Then a stop at Target for toilet paper and a grueling drive home through rush hour. As I sit here at my puter typing, I literally feel like I am going to fall over. I DESPERATELY need to get some groceries in this house, but I am too tired to go out. We have cereal and milk, and two more meals of butter noodles is NOT going to kill anyone. I need to crash soon.

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.... we still don't have a surgery time. The nurse said the time will likely change 10x between now and Tuesday; therefore, they will just call us Monday to tell us.

A few more details:

1. If you are coming on Saturday to our chili/prayer/fire fest, please bring camp chairs. Also if you feel led, you can bring a dessert and/or some soda.

2. Hospital...we've been deluged with offers to be at the hospital with us during surgery. It is John's request that friends and family PLEASE refrain from coming to the hospital until he is feeling up to it. You can contact Jami via cell phone/text/e-mail/facebook if you want to come visit. I will let you know if he is up to visitors yet. I will also post to twitter and this blog when he is ready for visitors, but even still before you come please call/text/e-mail so we can try to limit the number of people there at one time.

3. If you'd like to send John an encouraging e-mail, his e-mail address is: jkastner3@gmail.com


How to pray:

1. John's dizziness has increased significantly. He is also very fatigued and weak. He has developed a stutter/stammer which is a bit concerning to the doctor. He can't explain that as a sign of Chiari Malformation. I'm not a doctor, but in my humble opinion, this is probably just because he is SOOOOOOOOOOO exhausted today due to such a long day. All of this is very frustrating to him and results in one or two temper tantrums a day (FINE! an hour!)

2. Jami: I am exhausted. Haven't been sleeping well. Trying to smush in a TON of work (I'm the only breadwinner right now) and all of the scheduling of John's doctor appointments and child care, also having to mediate in SEVERAL wars over all of this brain surgery nonsense. I am wiped and really, really, really need to sleep tonight.

3. Kids: will be shuffled around from relative to relative next week (with one dear friend thrown in for good measure).... Wednesday is their first day of AWANA... I'm thinking I will make the trek all the way back up north because I don't want them to miss this.... Please pray for as much normalcy as possible for them next week.

4. Continued provision for us financially and practically.... bills, meals, laundry, etc.... I am too tired to wiggle much less think about some of these things.


In closing, you know whenever I have prayed for people in these types of situations before, they would say, "Your prayers are such a blessing." "You will never know how much the prayer support means to us." "It makes all the difference to know so many are praying for us." I would always think.... "Whatever! It's the least I can do! Spending a little time in prayer for you who are suffering so greatly." Finally, I "get it." People all over the country are praying for us. Strangers we just met. Entire churches of our friends. And words cannot express how much that means to us. To know that all over the country (possibly even the world) our names are being lifted up by so many is humbling and encouraging. Please continue to pray....

Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
I Corinthians 12:8 & 9