A word of encouragement from the past...

I submitted queries to 3 different literary agents today. I decided to then get started cleaning up some more of my manuscript. In doing that I stumbled upon this blog. It took my breath away because it is as if August of 2006 Jami is speaking DIRECTLY to July of 2009 Jami. For those of you who know the details of today's disappointment, I think it will take your breath away too. I hope it ministers to you, wherever you are at today as much as it ministered to me.


written on August 2, 2006...

You know people CONSTANTLY say to me, "I don't know how you do it Jami." They're referring to the fact that I have four children (who are beautiful and sweet, but AMAZINGLY "precocious"), I work 20 - 30 hours per week from my home (while watching said children), I coach the (amazing and incredibly talented) FHS cheerleaders, and I teach fitness classes. I always tell them that I just love my life, and I love to keep busy. The truth is I love everything in my life so much: my husband, my children, my cheerleaders, cheerleading itself, working out, that I'd rather work myself into the ground than give any of it up. However, the past two weeks or so, I myself have been thinking, "I don't know how you do it Jami."

I am so past exhausted! Having all four of the kiddos at home is just killing me. If I leave them upstairs so I can get in some work, they just get into trouble. A few weeks ago Noah used up all of my Victoria's Secret body spray. I asked him what he used it for, "knockout gas" was the answer. He was playing Splinter Cell and the sprays were his knockout gas. So while I really don't like to wish time away, I am ANXIOUSLY anticipating the beginning of school this year.

Not only that but summer is just SUCH a crazy time. I think we've had only two weekends this whole summer when we didn't have something planned: weddings, graduations, cheer camps, family reunions, class reunions, church picnics.....our summer has been FULL.

Add to it the fact that I have a newborn; however, in all honesty she is the LEAST of my problems. Hannah is SERIOUSLY and HONESTLY the best baby in the world. For the past three and a half weeks, she has been sleeping through the night. She sleeps about 10 hours EVERY night! She's an absolute dream. I figure though that with all the broken toilets, perfume used as knockout gas, bald spots cut in hair, and urinating in places that are NOT the toilet, I deserve at least one easy one right now. There are short skirts and midriff-baring tops that she will undoubtedly torture me with later, so I'm glorying in the angelic season of her life now. I digress....so the point of this is I'm barely making it.

I'm at the end of myself, but gratefully I'm finding that, as in all things, in the midst of my self-induced insanity, God's Grace is enough to see me through. Right now that is all that's getting me through. That and the knowledge that before I know it we'll be in the throes of fall. Summer's craziness will have given way to my FAVORITE season: it will be time for cool, crisp air, sweaters, trips to the apple orchard, new school outfits and lunchboxes, football games, and pumpkins....they are all on the horizon. So if I can just hold on a little longer. If I can just make it through the sweltering heat, a class and a family reunion, if I can just keep the boys from burning down the house, I will make it to the promised land - FALL.

Now I know this is getting kinda long, but I can't end without a plug for my amazing Lord and Savior...this is true of all of life. I know things get tough. Life can really suck at times. But if we can just make it through the heartbreaks of this life, through the broken marriages, Leukemia, financial hardships, and other tragedies, we will make it to the promised land – HEAVEN! Where we'll be done crying and hurting and wailing. There will be nothing but joy, peace, and praising our Lord and Savior.

So hang on if your life is tough. Mine is too right now. Take the time today to thank God for the joy in your life...there is always some joy, even if it's hard to find. Mine isn't hard to find at all...in spite of my troubles and strain I am filled to capacity with joyful things: John, Noah, Jeremiah, Elijah, Hannah, Amanda, Amber, Alex, my mom, my dad, Jodi, Cori, Seth, Shawn, Alyssa, Luke, Savana, Grammas Hilly and Haugh, Shannon, Christina, Tracey, Nicole, Angie, Danielle, Megan, Whitney, Marki, Kayla, Cassie, Brittany, Vicky, Carol, Theresa, everyone of my myspace friends, all of my former middle schoolers, my amazing church, my God-filled pastor, my Jesus, my Jesus, my Jesus. Then after you thank Him, just hang on through your troubles, because before we know it, this hard world will be behind us and we'll be walking the streets of gold, praising our Savior for all eternity.