And so it begins....

“Noah has a girlfriend. Noah has a girlfriend.” My children have been singing this refrain for about two weeks now. It is actually an adorable, terrifying, wonderful situation. We recently reconnected with one of my former cheerleaders, and our entire family fell in love. She and I always loved each other so that was not really a surprise. Our husbands hit it off great. Our children play well together and seem to really enjoy themselves when we are together. Which brings us to Noah…. Noah is very smitten with their little brown-haired, brown-eyed beauty. Yesterday, when he was out with John, he said, “Daddy, my heart hurts cuz I miss Allisa.” The entire situation is such a potpourri of mixed emotions for me.

It really is quite adorable: the dreamy look he gets on his face when he sees the ubber cute picture of the two of them and the way she skipped out to the car when we got there on Saturday so excited to see us she was bouncing. They are like a photo come to life. You know the photos I am talking about don’t you? Those adorable black and white photos where the little girl's ribbon and the flower the boy is giving her are the only parts in color. You know those right? Guess what? For the moms of the little black and white photos, it’s not just, “Awwww how adorable.” It is a little terrifying too.

My baby has a crush! He could get his heart broken or this could be the real thing. Seriously I am not trying to make too much of this, but I have a friend who has known her husband forever. She told me once that she still remembers when she was in Kindergarten (I think), she was all stressed out because she had to hold Dan Kallas’s hand in a program at church. Guess what??? She’s now Mrs. Dan Kallas. The thought that my child is entering this world where a beautiful little girl has the power to crush him or make him walk on air makes me want to vomit!

I have actually had the benefit of watching many, many, many others deal with the difficult parenting situation of romance. As a teacher and youth leader for junior high aged kids, I saw a lot of puppy love. I also saw a lot of parental reactions to puppy love. They ranged everywhere from flat out refusal to even consider their child “going out” with someone and forbidding them to be attracted to anyone until they were ____ years old, all the way through to matchmaking parents goading their child on to catch a “good one.” I have long wondered how I would tackle this problem when I finally came face-to-face with it, and now here I am staring it right in the adorable little brown eyes.

Because I do not like for anything in my life to be in vain, I have decided to take full advantage of this situation. I have decided to not waste time worrying or fretting about my son’s heart being broken (or stolen away), but instead to take full advantage of the chance to lead him through such a situation from a godly perspective. Even at the tender age of 9 ½ there are VERY valuable lessons he can learn about being a godly man and treating a woman the way God would want him too. I am thinking that NOW when he is moldable and so open to my opinion on things is the PERFECT time to lead him through this practice run of boy-girl relationships. Here are the lessons we’ve tackled so far:

1. Put Jesus first – The day after his “love at first sight experience,” I had a little chat with him. I asked him, “Did you and Allisa talk about Jesus at all?” He mentioned some Bible verses all the kids talked about. Putting God first, that is what I want him to do in all of his relationships and all of his life. Therefore, the first thing I focused on and the first seed I wanted to plant in his head was Jesus.


2. Put the other person’s needs before yours – This past weekend when we were together all the boys were inside playing video games, and Allisa was out on the deck by herself bored. I went up to Noah and encouraged him to go play with her. He wanted to play video games so badly, but I told him, “Noah, a good friend thinks about what the other person wants too. Allisa is all by herself and bored out of her skull. You can play video games at home.” He faced the struggle many men before him have been defeated by – TV vs. woman – and came out like a champ! Within minutes he and Allisa were running in the backyard playing on the swing set.

No worries though! No one is picking out china patterns or flowers yet (although we do have some UBBER cute pictures which would fit perfectly in a wedding slide show). But I am actually VERY at peace with the way we have chosen to handle this, and I am actually grateful God is giving us this chance to learn these life lessons. Even still I am still holding my breath a little, and daily begging God to give me strength for what lies ahead in the not too distant future: the teenage years. Oh Lord! Hold me TIGHT!