What do others see when they look at me?

Today my little princess had her 3rd birthday party. It was a wild extravaganza of pink, presents, and princess-like behavior. At one point I walked into the bathroom and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I was not at all happy with what I saw. I have gained so much weight! Not just since having babies but in the past 18 months since quitting the WAC…wowzer! Wide load coming through! And the dark circles under my eyes…. Seriously! I should probably stop wishing I could get a black eye because I live with two of them on my face all the time! As I sat there assaulting my own self in my mind, I wondered: What do others see when they look at me? Do they see all those things I just critiqued? Do they see the extra weight and the other flaws? Do they see my wide load and wrinkles?

As I pondered this thought, a verse popped into my head. It was something I had read earlier this week, and it made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. (I Samuel 16:7b) God is looking past my shabby exterior. He is even looking past my failed attempts to be good and pure and holy. He is looking at my heart. He sees how much my heart loves Him. He sees how much my heart WANTS to be good and pure and holy. He sees how much I desperately desire to teach my children to love Him. He sees how desperately I want to be a blessing to my husband. He doesn’t get hung up on what my outside looks like. He sees through to what my inside looks like.

Think hard about the context of this verse too. This verse is talking about David. It is referring to how David was the youngest of Jesse’s sons and how unlikely (from the outside) he was to become king. But God had looked at David’s heart and deemed him king material. For me it is helpful to remember that later on in life, David was going to doubt and fear and that later on in life David was going to lust after another man’s wife, commit adultery with that woman, and finally murder that woman’s husband. God knew this! God knew this was all in David’s heart. Yet God looked at that heart and found it to be worthy.

God doesn’t seek the perfect. (Good thing too because from what I have seen not too many of those exist.) God isn’t looking for someone who has it all together. He doesn’t need someone whose body is in perfect shape, whose wrinkle cream is doing its job, and who is faithful in covering up the gray. He isn’t even looking for a heart that is perfect. Not our God, His standards are not that high at all! Here is what He desires: a heart that loves Him... just loves Him. A heart that wants nothing more than to delight in Him, worship Him, serve Him, know Him, that is all He wants.

So don’t fix yourself up. Skip that silly wrinkle cream! Don’t stress about how many crunches you did today. Don’t spend even one minute wallowing in the guilt of already confessed sin. Love Him! Just love Him! Stop wasting time on the nonsense and LOVE HIM!