Fearfully and wonderfully made

This weekend God spoke loudly and clearly to me about being kinder to myself. I went to a birthday party for a friend I went to high school with. She and I have not seen each other since graduation, but through this wonderful thing called Facebook we have recently reconnected. Let me tell you all, this woman is doing forty WELL! She looks gorgeous! I did not see a wrinkle on her. She is either not graying or she is covering it up VERY well. She is fit and tan and well-dressed and adorable! You know what? I heard her say so many negative things about herself that night. I stood there trying not to gouge out her eyes with my jealousy realizing she did not see ANY of the things I was seeing!

I wanted to shout at her, “Be kind to yourself!” You are thinner than many others our age. You look way younger than forty. You are funny and sweet, and you have a heart of gold! Stop being so mean to yourself! All of a sudden I realized, I do the very same thing. My inner demons wanted to fight back, “But she is skinny! You are not.” I started to rationalize that she did not deserve to be so hard on herself, but I deserved my own self-abuse. But God wouldn’t let me go. He whispered to my heart and screamed to my soul, “I made you! You are my creation! You are fearfully and wonderfully made!”

As I rapidly approach my fortieth birthday (23 days and counting), I am so sad that I still have not completely learned to love myself. Yet realizing that I will always be a work in progress, I am trying very hard to remind myself to stop focusing on all the things I dislike about myself. I am trying to be kinder to myself. When I think negative thoughts about myself, I try hard to dismiss them immediately and move along.

I hope that this blog will reach out to any of you who struggle with your self-image. As Christians, I really don’t think God wants us spending too much time focusing on improving the way we think about ourselves. Every minute we spend with our eyes on our own self is one minute we could have been focusing on Him. However, at the same time, I cannot imagine that our Creator enjoys being told by His creation that He did not do a good enough job either. Today when you look in the mirror, don’t you dare grimace. When you step on the scale, don’t let out a sigh of disgust. When you want to cut yourself down or think negative thoughts about yourself, try something different. Try saying this: I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:14. I think you'll find that it is hard to be negative when you are praising God. I also hope you will find comfort and come to believe that you ARE fearfully and wonderfully made.